July 6th, 2001

I'd been to DC before on a previous roadtrip up the east coast with a friend of mine (hi Greg!), so the city isn't anything new really.

In fact, I guess I really don't feel like writing about it... we took in some sights and whatnot... nothing terribly exciting. I got some pictures of stuff.

We met up with a Peace Core friend of Alie's named Jeff and his friend and went out on the town. They regaled us with stories of their misadventures. It was a good time.

As we walked through DC an almost melancholy seemed to fill me. I think it's in part from the continual travel, lack of sleep... but there's something else. A kind of worn out beat up feeling seems to permeate the air. Alie is feeling it too, I think. I guess we're both going over a lot of stuff in our heads. She's talked about how with her particular way of life she's constantly moving and having to start from scratch every year or two. Having moved around quite a bit myself, I can relate to the feeling. I've been in Iowa for about a year and a half and I just had most of the people I know graduate and leave. I'll be largely starting over when I return.

It wasn't a lie, when I said over this trip everything changes. I updated the index page the other day to reflect this feeling. I've been listening to U2's new album for a while, and this song has stuck in my head. I have this feeling like I'm being left behind, and I have to run to catch up.

I guess I'm dealing with that now.

But that's not the only thing.

I fear that in taking this trip I've hosed up things in other areas of my life that can never be fixed. That's a large part of what I'm working on in my head. The nice thing about the continual driving I've undertaken is that, in the silence, it gives one a chance to really think things out... mull them around in your head in a spin cycle of sorts without lots of extraneous bullshit rattling around up in there fouling the whole thing up.

I think something that was good has been fouled up, and because of my handling of things I've wrecked, they won't ever be able to be fixed. It's strange... I feel like my whole mindset about life and things in general has changed the past month or so. I think it's significant enough of a change that it's going to hold when I go back to work... and I think being in school is going to help even more. More or less forcing myself to do this journal has been probably one of the best things I could've done... that and going out and visiting all my long lost relatives and the friends I'm going to meet or see again on this last leg of the trip. It's always nice to get different perspectives on things... rebuild and refresh bonds. This visiting is going to dominate most of the last leg of this trip. It could be years and years before I see some of these people again... although I hope that won't be the case. I'm missing you all already.

So when I get back, I'll be starting over. The part that really gets thrashed around a lot is that I think things could be fixed... but its out of my hands. I guess I realize it'll be a slow process of rebuilding... and moving my life along a different path. But patience is a virtue I've slowly begun to learn over the years... and I think it would be worth it.

I've been thinking of a closing line for the novel I've been working on... something at the end of the epilogue. I think it would go something like this: If there's anything that I've learned, as I've crisscrossed this country of ours, it's that life is like the road... life is like the Interstate. Veins and arteries of pavement and cement transporting people and things to destinations like stops in the body in the bloodstream. The road branches out from the arterial Interstate and into smaller highway vessels and further still into capillary like roads. The truckers have a motto... if you bought it, a truck brought it... like red blood cells and oxygen.
And like life, it flows... goes from exit to exit, converges and diverges from other roads. Sometimes you end up in the same path as another car on the road, and then there comes a time that you have to decide to keep along the same path. Intersections are reached and left behind.

Regardless of what happens, life, and the road, goes on. It's bumpy sometimes along the way, but still... it moves...

This, like many other realizations, is something that usually comes around when it's too late. It's something that I've come to terms with. I just wish it was otherwise. It's good to have a partner when you decide to brave the open road.

Most of you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. That's okay... I wrote this for someone who once told me that I never write anything about them. Hi there... I know you're reading this too. :) What you didn't realize is that because of you I'm able to write again. That's significant... I used to be scared that in order to write I had to be unhappy, but one thing I learned not too long ago is that I can in fact be happy and write. Thanks for that... and many other things too numerous to list. If this is your exit coming up here in the distance... it was a good ride.

Anyways... I've meandered enough tonight. Good night.

DC's Subway System.

Strolling with Jeff towards...

The Washington Monument.

The Lincoln Memorial & Alie.

The Wall

An old colonial house Preserved in the Museum.

The flag the song was based on.

Statue of George Washington.

The Capitol

National

Aerospace

Museum