Are these real bumper stickers? I don't know, but they should be!

FORGET ABOUT WORLD PEACE...VISUALIZE USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL.

I DIDN'T FIGHT MY WAY TO THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN TO BE A
VEGETARIAN.

WOMEN WHO SEEK TO BE EQUAL WITH MEN LACK AMBITION.

YOUR KID MAY BE AN HONOR STUDENT BUT YOU'RE STILL AN IDIOT

IF WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO EAT ANIMALS, WHY ARE THEY MADE WITH MEAT?

FEW WOMEN ADMIT THEIR AGE, FEW MEN ACT IT.

I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY, I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT.

IT'S LONELY AT THE TOP, BUT YOU EAT BETTER.

LOVE:  TWO VOWELS, TWO CONSONANTS, TWO FOOLS.

ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS THE PROBLEM DOESN'T EXIST.

SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE ONLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO KILL THEM.

PRIDE IS WHAT WE HAVE.  VANITY IS WHAT OTHERS HAVE.

WARNING:  DATES ON CALENDAR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.

GIVE ME AMBIGUITY OR GIVE ME SOMETHING ELSE.

WE HAVE ENOUGH YOUTH, HOW ABOUT A FOUNTAIN OF "SMART."

WE ARE MICROSOFT.  RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.  YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.

3 KINDS OF PEOPLE: THOSE WHO CAN COUNT AND THOSE WHO CAN'T.

WHY IS "ABBREVIATION" SUCH A LONG WORD?

EVER STOP TO THINK, AND FORGET TO START AGAIN?

DIPLOMACY IS THE ART OF SAYING "NICE DOGGIE!"... TILL YOU CAN FIND A   
ROCK.

I LIKE YOU BUT I WOULDN'T WANT TO SEE YOU WORKING WITH SUB-ATOMIC   
PARTICLES.

"AUNTIE EM:  HATE YOU, HATE KANSAS, TAKING THE DOG."  -DOROTHY

LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION, I CAN FIND IT MYSELF.

THE MORE HAIR I LOSE, THE MORE HEAD I GET