| "WEED SPARKS THE FLAME OF CREATIVITY IN OUR MINDS" |
| "WEED IS THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS US SANE" |
| "YOU CAN NEVER FEEL DOWN WHEN YOU ARE HIGH" |
| "WEED ISN'T A DRUG IT IS HERBAL HEALING" |
| "DRUGS EXPAND YOUR MIND AND SHOULD NOT JUST BE SEEN AS LOW-LIFE THINGS" |
| "WEED AND TUNES GO TOGETHER LIKE JAM AND TOAST" |
| "ON THE MOON THERE IS NO GRAVITY SO YOU CAN GET HIGH AND NEVER COME DOWN" |
| "WEED IS THE FRUIT OF THE GODS" |
| "YOU HAVE TO RESPECT THE POWER MARIJUANA POSSESS, IT CAN GET YOU LAID, GET YOU ARRESTED, HELP YOU MAKE NEW FRIENDS, OR GET YOU SHOT" |
| "EVERYONE AT SOME POINT AS GOTTEN HIGH IT IS JUST WHETHER THEY WANT TO ADMIT IT OR NOT" |
| "YOU KNOW YOU ARE RIPPED WHEN YOU START TALKING TO THE HONEY BEAR BONG AS IF IT WERE A PERSON" |
| "PEOPLE SAY MOSES WALKED ON WATER, HE ACTUALLY WAS JUST REALLY HIGH AND IMAGINED IT"- |
| "IF EVERYONE IN THE WORLD SMOKED WEED THERE WOULD BE TRUE PEACE ON EARTH" |
| "WEED MAKES YOU APPRECIATE THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE, LIKE FOOD" |
| "WHEN YOU ARE HIGH THE WORLD IS ON YOUR TIME" |
| "WEED HAS THE POWER TO MAKE REALLY ANNOYING PEOPLE NORMAL AND TOLERABLE." |
| "IN ORDER TO UNDERTAND A POTHEAD YOU WILL HAVE TO BECOME ONE." |
| "HE WHO SEE THE COPS, AND RUNS FROM THE COPS, LIVES TO SMOKE ANOTHER DAY." |
| "ULTIMATE ENLIGHTENMENT IS ACHIEVED ONLY WHEN YOU ARE STONED, SO YOU HAVE TO BE STONED IN ORDER TO REALIZE THE WORLD AROUND YOU. " |
| "THE SWITCH IS WHEN YOU RE SO STONED THAT YOU CAN WATCH TV ON MUTE AND PLAY MUSIC AND THE MUSIC SEEMS TO FLOW WITH THE TV, NO MATTER WHAT SONG IT IS, FOR THE MOST PART. " |
| "WEED IS A PLANT THAT COMES FROM THE GROUND, IF IT WERE BAD WOULD GOD HAVE PUT IT ON THE EARTH. " |
| "WHEN YOU SMOKE IT IS ALMOST AS IF YOUR BRAIN FILLS UP WITH LIQUID, IT DRAINS OUT AS YOUR HIGH PROCEEDS. ANY EXERCISE OR EXTREME THINKING MAKES IT DRAIN FASTER, THUS MAKING THE HIGH DISAPPEAR FASTER." |
| "WHEN YOU ARE REAL STONED SEX SEEMS MORE INTENSE." |
| "A BLUNT A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY." |
| "YOU CAN ALWAYS FIND THE ANSWERS TO LFIE WHEN YOU ARE REALLY COOKED." |
| "CHANNEL SURFING BECOMES AND EPIC ADVENTURE WHEN YOU ARE RIPPED." |
| "A COUPLE THAT PUFFS TOGETHER STAYS TOGETHER." |
| "THE "FAT BASTARD HIGH" IS WHEN YOU ARE SO FUCKED UP ON DANK THAT YOUR BRAIN FORGETS TO TELL YOUR STOMACH TO STOP EATING THEN 20 MINUTES LATER YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT." |
| "WHEN YOU ARE STONED THE TEMPERATURE IS ALWAYS RIGHT, NEVER TOO HOT AND NEVER TOO COLD." |
| "WHEN YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, AND THEN YOU SMOKE YOU GAIN THE ABILITY TO TOPPLE OVER ALMOST ANY PROBLEM." |
| "THE LONGER IT TAKES YOU TO SMOKE A BOWL THE MORE RIPPED YOU WILL BECOME OFF IT, THIS IS SO BECAUSE IN BETWEEN HITS YOU GET A CHANCE TO GET HIGHER BEFORE TAKING ANOTHER HIT." |
| "IF YOU LISTEN TO YOUR FAVORITE MUSIC WHEN YOU ARE RIPPED IT ALMOST SOUNDS HEAVENLY AND PEACEFUL." |
| "WHEN YOU ARE STONED AND YOUR WITH SOMEONE WHO ISN'T, IT ALWAYS SEEMS LIKE THEY ARE MAD AT YOU." |
| "SCHOOL IS FUN WHEN YOU ARE RIPPED AS SHIT" |
| "WHEN YOU ARE FUCKED UP AND YOU PLAY THE GUITAR, IT ALWAYS SOUNDS GOOD WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE GOOD AT IT." |
| "WEED MAKES YOU MORE SENSITIVE TO YOUR ENVIRONMENT." |
| "WHEN YOIU ARE STONED YOU LOOSE THE ABILITY TO DETECT NON-SOBERNESS FROM OTHER PEOPLE, THEY JUST SEEM NORMAL." |
| "A FRIEND WITH WEED IS A FRIEND INDEED." |
| "TIME THAT YOU ARE NOT HIGH IS TIME THAT YOU COULD BE HIGH." |
| "WEED MAKES YOU INTELLIGENT." |
| "THE " WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUTS " ARE GREAT, THEY ARE WHEN YOU SIT DOWN WITH YOUR PAL AND U GUYS HAVE AN ENTIRE CONVERSATION, THEN HALF WAY THROUGH YOU BOTH FORGET WHAT WAS BEING DISCUSSED." |
| "WHEN YOU ARE BLAZED YOU DON'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED, AND YOU SAVOR EVERYTHING TILL THE LAST BIT OF IT IS GONE." |
| "YOU HAVEN'T HAD ENOUGH WEED UNTIL YOU HAVE PASSED OUT." |
| "YOU KNOW YOU ARE BLAZED WHEN YOU CAN CARRY ON A CONVERSATION WITH AN ANIMAL" |
| "WHEN YOU ARE BLAZED IT IS LIKE THE WHOLE WORLD IS HIGH, YOU LOOK AT OTHER PEOPLE AND YOU SWEAR THEY ARE LOOKING AT YOU AND YOU THINK THEY ARE ALL HIGH TOO." |
| "THE REASON YOUR TASTE IS ENHANCED WHEN YOU ARE HIGH IS BECAUSE YOUR BODY WANTS TO BE FAIR SINCE YOU LOOSE MOST PRACTICAL USES OF YOUR BRAIN." |
| "THE GOODIES IS WHEN YOU ARE ALL BLAZED OUT AND YOU DO EVERY TASK WITH SUCH A GREAT PRECISION, SKILL, AND SENSE OF INTEGRITY." |
| "WHEN YOU ARE STONED YOU ACT LIKE YOU ARE AN EXPERT ON ANYTHING, THATS WHY YOU DO DUMB SHIT WHEN YOU ARE HIGH." |
| "WHEN YOU ARE BLAZED EVERYTHING, EVEN JUST SITTING AROUND IS EXTREMELY EXCITING AND FUN." |
| "THE GHOST HIGH IS WHEN YOU AND YOUR PALS ARE RIPPING TUBES IN A CAR AND YOU SMOKE A LOT AND YOU DON'T FEEL HIGH, BUT THEN LIKE 10 MINUTES LATER, THE HIGH HITS YOU LIKE A TRAIN, AND YOU ARE THE SLOPPIEST MO FO KNOWN TO MAN." |
| "I HAVE DISCOVERED THROUGH SMOKING THAT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO TAKE JUST A SIP OF A DRINK WHEN YOU ARE HIGH, IT JUST ENDS UP TASTING TOO GOOD." |
| "WHEN YOU ARE HIGH YOU REMEMBER STUFF THAT YOU HAD FORGOT BEFORE TO REPLACE THE STUFF THAT YOU WON'T REMEMBER FROM THIS MOMENT." |
| "VAN GOAH'N IS WHEN YOU ARE REALLY FUCKIN' BLAZING AND ALL THE COLORS YOU SEE ARE MAGNIFIED IN THEIR BRILLIANCE, AND EVERYTHING SEEMS MUCH MORE CLEAR, AS IF YOU WERE WEARING GLASSES." |
| "DRIVING IS ONE OF THE MOST SOOTHING THINGS WHEN YOU ARE BLAZED." |
| "YOU KNOW YOU ARE REALLY BLAZED WHEN ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING CONFUSES THE HELL OUTTA YOU." |
| "THE SINISTA MOTHER FUCKA IS WHEN YOU ARE SITTING AROUND AFTER CLEARING A COUPLE OF BOWLS AND YOU ALL OF A SUDDEN UP AND START LAUGHING A LIKE A FUCKING CRAZY MAN FOR LIKE 20 MINUTES. " |
| "DEJA HUH ? IS WHEN YOU ARE REALLY REALLY STONED AND CONFUSED ( THE BEST ) AND YOU CASUALLY GLANCE AT A PERSON AND YOU SEE SOMEONE YOU KNOW , BUT THEN WHEN YOU DO A DOUBLE TAKE YOU REALIZE THAT YOU JUST SMOKED TOO MUCH." |
| "SOMETIMES WHEN YOU SMOKE WEED YOU ARE SITTING THERE PUFFING ON A BOWL AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU WANT TO GO AND GET SOMETHING TO EAT, EXCEPT THAT THERE IS ONE PROBLEM, YOU CAN'T MOVE, THIS IS BECAUSE THE WEED HAS TRIGGERED "NO CONTROL" MODE, IT IS WHEN YOU ARE JUST TOO DAMN LAZY DEEP DOWN INSIDE TO MOVE." |
| "WHEN YOU SMOKE HERB FOR THE FIRST TIME A BUTTON IN YOUR HEAD IS TURNED ON THAT MAKES YOU MORE ECONOMICAL, THIS IS SO BECAUSE ALL THE MONEY YOU SAVE FROM YOUR NEW FOUND THRIFTINESS CAN BE PUT TOWARDS BUYING MORE HERB." |
| "THE JET SYNDROME IS A TRICKY LITTLE THING. IT IS WHEN YOU AND ALL YOUR PALS MOSEY ON INTO A 7-11 AND WHOEVER PAYS LEAVES IMMEDIATELY , IT IS AN INSTINCT BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANNA BE IN THERE WHEN YOU ARE STONED." |
| "WHEN YOU ARE HIGH THE NERVES THAT INTERPRET PAIN ARE REVERSED TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER, THEREFORE IF YOU SMACK YOUR HEAD AGAINST THE WALL IT WON'T HURT TILL THE NEXT DAY." |
| "WEED ISN'T ADDICTIVE IT JUST SEEMS ADDICTIVE BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY STONERS OUT THERE PUFFIN' A WAY ALL THE TIME." |
| "THE CRAVING SICKNESS IS WHEN YOU ALWAYS HAVE THE NEED TO SMOKE WEED, NO MATTER HOW MUCH WEED YOU HAVE SMOKED YOU WILL ALWAYS SUGGEST SMOKING ANOTHER ONE." |
| "WHEN YOU ARE FUMED IS WHEN YOU ARE BLAZED AS SHIT BUT NO PIPE TOUCHED YOUR MOUTH TODAY, YOU GOT HIGH FROM SOMEONE FISHBOWLING THE CAR OR WHATEVER." |
| "THE AMBASSADOR IS WHEN YOU ARE PRETTY HIGH AFTER TAKING A COUPLE ROUNDS OF SMOKING AND YOU TALK IN FAKE FOREIGN LANGUAGES, JUST SAYING UTTER MEANINGLESS BULLSHIT." |
| "A PROJECT IS WHEN YOU HAVE SMOKED A COUPLE OF BLUNTS AND YOU ARE REALLY COOKED AND YOU START DOING SOME RANDOM, DUMB, POINTLESS TASK, AND TAKE REAL PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND NO ONE EVEN GIVES A SHIT." |
| "WHEN YOU SMOKE HERB YOU GAIN THIS ILLUSIONARY CARD THAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO ACT LIKE A COMPLETE RETARD AND IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER, BUT DON'T CONFUSE THIS WITH BEING BELLIGERENT." |
| "BILLY IS ONLY ACHIEVED BY THE BIGGEST STONERS. IT IS WHEN YOU ARE SO HIGH THAT YOUR BRIAN CANNOT PROCESS THE CONCEPT OF SPEECH SO YOU END UP DRIBBLING OUT MEANINGLESS SHIT." |
| "THE VIOLENT MO FO HIGH IS WHEN YOU OUTSIDE RIPPING TUBES AND ALL OF A SUDDEN IT HITS YOU LIKE A TON OF BRICKS, AND YOU BECOME THE MOST DESTRUCTIVE MOTHER FUCKED KNOWN TO MAN." |
| "THE ONLY WAY TO EAT THANKSGIVING DINNER IS WHEN YOU ARE STONED." |
| "THE ONLY WAY TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING IS RIGHT AFTER YOU RIPPED SOME FAT TUBES AND YOU ARE REAL STONED, THEN AND ONLY THEN WILL YOU GET THE BEST SELECTION OF FOOD." |
| "EXTENDED EXPERIENCE IS WHEN YOU ARE SMOKING A FATTIE BEFORE YOU GO TO SLEEP ( OR PASS OUT ) AND WHEN YOU WAKE UP IT IS LIKE YOU NEVER STOPPED SMOKING AND YOU ARE STILL STONED." |
| "BONDING IS WHEN YOU ARE REALLY OFF THE BASE AND YOU HAVE YOUR PIPE IN YOUR HAND AND YOU END UP STARING AT IT FOR LIKE 25 MINUTES, JUST STARING AT THE COLORS AND THE CURVES, VERY SOOTHING ! " |
| "SOMETIMES WHEN YOU ARE REALLY HIGH YOU TRY TO MAKE YOURSELF SEEM SOBER AND IN DOING THAT YOU MAKE YOURSELF BECOME TOO SOBER WHICH RESULTS IN YOU LOOKING MORE STONED THAN YOU ARE." |
| "CLIPY IS WHEN YOU ARE DRIVING ALONG RIPPING TUBES AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU NOTICE THAT YOUR BRAIN IS ONLY PROCESSING LIKE 2 TO 3 FRAMES PER SECOND, IT BASICALLY BECOMES VERY CHOPPY AND FUCKED UP !" |
| "THE ZONKERS IS WHEN YOU ARE SAYING SOMETHING , AND RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR THOUGHT IT FLYS THE COUP AND YOU END UP LOOKING LIKE A DUMBASS." |
| "YOU KNOW YOU ARE A STONER WHEN YOU CAN FIND WHOLE BUDS OF WEED LYING AROUND YOUR CAR IN RANDOM PLACES." |
| "STONER SILENCE IS A UNCALLED FOR PHENOMENA, IT IS WHEN YOU ARE TAKING EVERYONE HOME AFTER A NICE NIGHT OF CHIEF'N AND YOU ARE ALL BURNED OUT SO MUCH THAT YOU JUST SIT THERE IN DEEP THOUGHT." |
| "WEED DOESN'T DE-MOTIVATE YOU. IT JUST MAKES YOU REALIZE ALL THE SHIT YOU NORMALLY DO IS FUCKING WORTHLESS." |
| "WHEN YOU BRAIN RUSH, WHICH IS WHEN YOU SMOKE A LOT OF WEED REAL QUICK, LIKE TAKE 10 HITS IN 10 SECONDS, AND THOSE HITS HIT YOU LIKE A TON OF BRICKS AND YOU END UP REAL BLAZED, REAL QUICK." |
| "HIGHJACKING IS WHAT I LIKE TO REFER TO AS WHEN A FELLOW SMOKER GROSSES YOU OUT, MAKES YOU PARANOID, DISSES YOU, OR JUST BORES THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU." |
| "YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE STONED AND YOU LOSE YOUR CAR KEYS, WALLET OR CELL PHONE, THIS IS WHAT I LIKE TO CALL "STONER TRAUMA". IT IS USUALLY ONLY TEMPORARY." |
| "MUSIC IS ECSTASY WHEN YOU ARE HIGH, IT RUNS THROUGH YOUR VEINS LIKE COLD WATER. THIS FEELING EVENTUALLY LEADS INTO THE "JAM SESSION"." |
| "IT IS VERY EASY TO BECOME SCKITZO AFTER SMOKING A J. , ALL THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN IS FOR YOU TO HEAR SOMETHING REALLY BAD THAT YOU DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR, THAT IS USUALLY ENOUGH TO SEND SOMEONE OVER THE EDGE." |
| "THE TIREDNESS FROM SMOKING A FAT BLUNT CAN GO AS QUICKLY AS IT COMES IF YOU HAVE THE WILL POWER TO OUTLAST IT." |
| "YOU KNOW YOU ARE FUCKED UP WHEN YOU PUT YOUR BONG UP TO YOUR EAR TO HEAR THE OCEAN." |
| "ONCE YOU HAVE SMOKED WEED FOR A LONG TIME YOU WON'T COUGH ANYMORE FROM SMOKING WEED." |
| "YOU CAN'T DIE FROM WEED BECAUSE ONCE YOU SMOKE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF WEED YOU DON'T GET ANYMORE FUCKED UP, YOU JUST GET CLOSER TO SMOKING YOURSELF SOBER." |
| "ONLY ONE THOUGHT CAN BE PROCESSED BY YOUR BRAIN WHILE YOU ARE HIGH" |
| "YOU THINK OF TWO THINGS WHEN YOU ARE HIGH : EITHER " I NEED TO SMOKE MORE WEED" , OR " I DON'T NEED TO SMOKE ANYMORE WEED"." |
| "WHEN YOUR HIGH ANY SONG, ANY WORDS CAN FIT INTO IT, IT DOESN'T MATTER." |
| "MOCCASINS ARE THE OFFICIAL FOOTWEAR OF STONERS" |
| "TOMMY TOOTH IS WHEN YOU ARE REALLY FUCKED UP AND YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH FOREVER, I GUESS THIS IS TO ACCOUNT FOR ALL THE MUNCHIES ?, IT IS A TRULY FUCKED UP EXPERIENCE." |
| "TO KREVORK IS TO BEAT UP ON YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE EXTREMELY HIGH,THIS IS NAMED AFTER JACK KREVORKIAN." |
| "A JAM SESSION IS WHEN YOU ARE DRIVING AROUND WITH YOUR "BUD"IES AND YOU ARE LISTENING TO SOME TUNES. THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN EVERYBODY THAT IS PUFFIN CHOOSES AND INSTRUMENT THAT IS PLAYING AND STARTS MIMICKING IT. THESE JAM SESSION CAN LAST FOR HOURS." |
| "LUNCH BREAK IS A WEIRD PHENOMENA, IT IS WHEN YOU ARE BLAZED AND STARE OFF INTO NOTHING THEN AFTER LIKE 10 MINUTES YOU REALIZE THAT YOUR BRAIN WAS JUST ON BREAK." |
| "THE "FOOD NETWORK" HIGH IS WHEN YOU TRULY BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE HOSTING A COOKING SHOW AT THAT VERY MOMENT, LIKE EMIRIL." |
| "THE "DAREDEVIL" HIGH IS WHEN YOU ARE DRIVING AROUND WITH YOUR PALS AND YOU SAY THAT YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE IN A VIDEO GAME, AND YOU COULD DO ANYTHING." |
| "IF YOUR PARENTS COULD SEE YOU WHEN YOU ARE HIGH THEY WOULD SEE HOW HAPPY YOU ARE AND WOULD LET YOU SMOKE ALL THE TIME." |
| "WHEN YOU SMOKE A FAT BOWL ON THE WAY HOME ( LIKE I ), AND YOU WALK IN THE DOOR AND YOUR PARENTS ARE SITTING ON THE COUCH, YOU HAVE THIS ABILITY TO "ACT" SOBER FOR A MERE 20 SECONDS, THEN YOU WILL START ACTING LIKE A DUMBASS AGAIN." |
| "RESIN FROM SMOKING WEED IS LIKE THE SHIT OF THE UNIVERSE." |
| "YOU KNOW YOU ARE A STONER WHEN YOU SMOKE A DOOB ON A SUNDAY, ONLY STONERS SMOKE WEED ON SUNDAYS." |
| "I HAVE DISCOVERED THROUGH SMOKING THAT THERE IS A LINK BETWEEN YOUR SOBER SELF AND YOUR HIGH SELF. I DISCOVERED THIS BECAUSE AFTER I SMOKED ONE DAY I FOUND A CANDY BAR THAT I HAD PURPOSELY LEFT THERE WHEN I WAS SOBER, BECAUSE I KNEW I WOULD WANT IT NOW, THEREFORE THERE IS A DEFINITE LINK BETWEEN YOUR TWO SELVES." |
| "WHEN YOU "SLEEP SMOKE" YOU OVERSMOKE YOUR LIMIT WHICH PROPELS YOU INTO WHAT WE LIKE TO CALL "DREAMLAND" WHICH BASICALLY SWITCHES YOU TO SLEEP MODE , AND YOU EVENTUALLY PASS-OUT. THIS IS GREAT RIGHT WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT TO GO TO SLEEP." |
| "THE "DRIBBLE GLASS" HIGH IS WHEN YOU HAVE SMOKED YOUR LIMIT AND YOU ONLY THE FUNCTIONING ABILITIES OF A NEWBORN CHILD, OTHERWISE YOU JUST SIT THERE AND DO NOTHING." |
| "IF YOU HAVE TIME TO CLEAN YOUR CAR YOU HAVE TIME TO CLEAN YOUR PIECE." |
| "ONE TRUE WAY OF TELLING WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE A TRUE STONER IS IF WHEN YOU SMOKE YOU SMOKE EVERY LAST DROP OF SMOKE OUT OF THE WEED, UNTIL IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO GET ANY MORE OF A HIT." |
| "YOU KNOW YOU ARE A STONER WHEN YOU GO OUT TO LUNCH DURING SCHOOL AND YOU AND YOUR SMOKING BUDDIES FINISH 4 BOWLS OF DANK BEFORE RETURNING TO SCHOOL." |
| "WHEN YOU SMOKE A FAT DOOB, AND IMMEDIATELY START THINKING THAT YOU ARE IN THE FUCKING WWF,AND PUTTING ALL THE LATEST WRESTLING MOVES ON YOUR BUDDY, THIS IS CALLED THE "HOGAN HIGH", IT CAN GET UGLY , AND DEPENDING OF HOW MUCH HERB YOU TOKED THERE CAN BE 30 MINUTE STALEMATES SOMETIMES. " |
| "YOU KNOW WHEN YOU SMOKE A FAT DOOB, AND YOU TRY TO TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS BUT ALL THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IS UTTER BULLSHIT SLOBBER, THIS IS CALLED " BRAIN DEAD-MOTHER-FUCKER SYNDROME "." |
| "THE " VANILLA ICE DISEASE " IS WHEN YOU ARE OUTSIDE SMOKING A BOWL OF DANK WITH YOUR PALS AND YOU GET THE TREMENDOUS URGE TO BREAK DANCE. THEN YOU NON- SHALAUNTLY GET UP AND START DOING YOUR THING." |
| "WEED BRINGS PEOPLE TOGETHER" |
| "YOU KNOW YOU ARE A STONER WHEN YOU CALL UP YOUR PALS AND MAKE PLANS TO GO SOMEWHERE JUST SO YOU CAN SMOKE ON THE WAY THERE." |
| "YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE REALLY HIGH AND YOU ARE EATING AND YOUR FACE GETS ALL MESSY. EITHER YOU ARE A TOTAL SLOB, OR YOU HAVE THE "I'LL DO IT IN A MINUTE" DISEASE. THIS IS WHEN YOU HAVE FULL INTENTION OF DOING A TASK BUT YOUR PROCRASTINATION GENE TAKES OVER AND YOU SAY YOU WILL DO IT IN A MINUTE BUT THEN FORGET ABOUT IT." |
| "YOU KNOW YOU ARE FUCKED UP WHEN YOU START HAVING LONG TWO-SIDED CONVERSATIONS WITH YOURSELF." |
| "WHEN YOU ARE SOBER YOU THINK OF DUMB SHIT. BUT WHEN YOU SMOKE A FAT DOOBIE OF DANK YOU THINK OF DUMB SHIT FOR LIKE 11 MINUTES, AND THEN REALIZE YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT IT. " |
| "WEED IS LIKE BREAKFAST, YOU SMOKE ( EAT ) IT EVERYDAY." |
| "WHEN YOU SMOKE A LOT OF HERB SOMETIMES YOU GET WHAT WE LIKE TO CALL " THE TALKS". THIS IS WHEN YOU START THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU ARE TALKING , THEN YOU START TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT TALKING, THEN YOU REALIZE THAT YOU JUST TALKED FOR 30 MINS ABOUT NOTHING." |
| "WHEN YOU LIGHT UP A FAT DOOBIE AND YOU BECOME HIGH YOUR BRAIN SINKS TO A THINKING LEVEL OF A RETARD, OR EVEN AN ANIMAL" |
| "YOU KNOW WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND IT IS ALL FOGGY OUTSIDE. THESE ARE ACTUALLY THE DAYS THAT GOD IS FISHBOWLING THE WORLD." |
| "THE FIRST TIME YOU SMOKE UP YOU GET THIS SIXTH SENSE AND IT IS WITH YOU FOREVER. THIS SIXTH SENSE IS BASICALLY THE ABILITY TO TELL WHEN SOMEONE IS STONED. FROM THEN ON YOU CAN ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY TELL WHEN SOMEONE IS RIPPIN PIPES." |
| "WHEN YOU SMOKE A LOT OF WEED IN ONE SITTING SOMETIMES YOU CAN GET EFFECTED WITH WHAT I LIKE TO CALL " THE G SPOT " , G STANDING FOR GRAVITY. IT IS WHEN YOU ARE BEING AFFECTED BY LIKE 4 TIMES THE NORMAL GRAVITY , SO EVERYTHING SEEMS REALLY HEAVY AND SLOW AND HARD TO MOVE." |
| "WHEN YOU FINALLY SMOKE ENOUGH WEED THAT YOU ELEVATE TO THE "THE RETARD LEVEL" YOU WILL BEGIN TAKING EVERYTHING AROUND YOU AND RUBBING IT ALL OVER YOUR FACE LIKE A RETARD WOULD. THIS IS ONLY ACHIEVED BY THE MOST VETERAN STONER." |
| "YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE HIGH , AND YOU RANDOMLY GET MAD AT INANIMATE OBJECTS LIKE A LAMP OR YOUR COMPUTER. THIS IS WHAT I LIKE TO CALL "THE MEANS". WARNING ! DON'T GET THIS CONFUSED WITH BEING A COMPLETE ASSHOLE." |
| "WHEN YOU SMOKE YOU GET ONE OF TWO GENERAL "SPEED" HIGHS. THE FIRST IS THE ZIP-ITY-DO HIGH, WHEN YOU THINK YOU ARE FUCKING JOHNNY MNEMONIC, AND YOU CAN REACT TO SHIT BEFORE IT EVEN HAPPENS. THE OTHER IS THE CLASSIC STONER HIGH, WHEN ALL YOU DO IS VEG AND EAT, AND ACT REAL SLOW , AND ANSWER TO QUESTION 5 MINUTES LATER , AND INCORRECTLY." |
| "I HAVE DISCOVERED THROUGH SMOKING WEED THAT EACH PERSON HAS TWO PERSONALITIES, IF NOT MORE DAMN CRAZIES. ONE IS YOUR NORMAL ONE, THE ONE EVERYONE HATES. THE OTHER ONE IS THE "FUCKED-UP-HIGH-OFF-HIS-ASS" STONER ONE, WHICH EVERYBODY LOVES TO DEATH. THE SECOND YOU LIGHT UP A FAT DOOBIE IS WHEN YOUR ALTER PERSONALITY COMES TO LIFE AND YOU HAVE FUN, THEN AS THE HIGH WEARS OFF, THE STONER PERSONALITY GETS PULLED BACK TO DIMENSION X." |
| " I FIND THAT GIRLS GET ONLY ONE OF TWO HIGHS. ONE IS THE NORMAL EVERYDAY HIGH , THE ONES US GUYS GET, THIS ONE ONLY HAPPENS LIKE 1 % OF THE TIME. THE OTHER ONE IS THE PORNO SLUT HIGH WHEN THEY GET ALL HORNY AND SHIT, THIS HAPPENS LIKE 99 % OF THE TIME." |
