My footsteps echoed through the empty corridors of the school's hallway as I frantically ran. I ran as fast as I could, my heart thudding madly in my chest. I had to escape, I had to! Otherwise...
My name is Rayne and I was being pursued by a horny lunchlady. I'm not quite sure how it came about...I remember only ordering the meatballs and spaghetti during lunch and watching her eyes flare up with passion. And now I run for my life.
Miraculously, I saw an open door and dived in. The students and teacher stared at me as I lay sprawled across the floor. I froze with fear as I heard stomping footsteps passing in the hallway along with a gratey, yet feminine, voice call out,
"Dearie!?! Where are you, you cute little bundle of cafeteria-food loving sex appeal?"
When the hair-netted cafeteria lady passed, I sighed with relief and stood up to apologize to the teacher and class. I looked at the teacher and cold fear constricted my chest. This was a fate more worse than the lunch-lady...I had dived into Flood's standard English class!
He looked at me, wiping his nose on his tie. "Rayne-Forest!" he said, using that annoying nickname of his. "Seeing you sprawled on the floor like that arises feelings in me I've never experienced...not even with Mr. Burton!" He stood up and wiggled his hips coyly, smiling suggestively. I screamed in horror trying to keep my breakfast down. "C'mon over here you sexy little piss ant." he whispered huskily. He stood on top of his desk and began to dance and do pelvic thrusts in my direction, singing "If you want my body and you think I'm sexy." The standard students stared in dumb bewilderment.
"Duh?" asked one thoughtfully.
Suddenly Flood jumped off the desk and landed in front of me.
"Get back!" I yelled in terror. I quickly backpedaled to the door, but found that it had swung shut when Flood landed before me. I turned to the door and tried to turn the knob, but my hands refused to work properly and kept slipping off. I whirled around to face Flood, and found that he had picked up his guitar. I looked in terror at his hand poised over the strings. He read my expression and knew it for what it was: indescribable fear. His fingers fell across the strings and I recognized the notes as the first chord of a country song.
"No! Please stop! Please! Somebody help me!" I pleaded at the top of my lungs. The standard students just sat there and stared dumbfounded.
"My little-bundle-of-cafeteria-food-loving-sex-appeal! Stay away from her you nasty man!" Shouted the psychotic lunchlady. She placed a lumpy hand on my arm and tried to drag me away, but Flood placed his callused fingers on my other arm and tried to pull me away.
"Let go of her! She's mine!"
"No! I saw her first!"
"Na-uh! She's my student!"
During this little exchange of words, they played tug of war with my body and at the last exchange, they tore my body in half.
"Now look what you did! I can't practice pelvic thrusts!" whined Flood.
"My potential lover! You killed my potential lover!" cried the lunchlady groveling in my blood.
Killed me? Ha, that's what those freaks thought. I had been drinking my milk and just because I was lying in two pieces on the floor didn't necessarily mean I was dead. But it was safer to let them think I was, so I just lay there, motionless.
"Dammit! Now how can I relieve my sexual frustration?" muttered the lunchlady. "Dead girls aren't much fun...too stiff and dry."
There was a pause and then Flood replied, "I know a way." I waited, scared to death, to see what would happen.
The silence that followed was shattered by a loud moan and raspy breathing. More orgasmic moans followed, as did cries of "Yes!" and a sound strikingly similar to a vacuum cleaner. The reality of the situation hit me...Flood and the lunchlady were doing the nasty!!!!
The thought of Flood whipping out his...UGH! The revoltion I felt shook through my two body halves spasmodically. They both jumped up and moved in a synchronized manner towards each other. My right hand produced a needle out of no where and began stitching myself together with hot pink thread.
Flood and the gorgeous piece of lunchlady were still going at it, from the groans behind me I could tell, so they never noticed me. I finished sewing and turned...bad move. I got one terrifying glimpse of Flood's hairy, shriveled body and her hairier, lardy body, entwined together in one sweatsoaked, horny minute.
"Yahhhh!" I screamed in horrified revulsion. I was so shocked that the hot pink thread broke and I fell apart again. I stared at my other half, it nodded and we ran like hell...hard to do with one leg, leaving behind screams of "Oh! Oh, baby!" and Indian war cries.
My left half became a hooker in Vegas and became disgustingly rich. My other half became the President of the U.S. ...she's the failure. As for Flood and lunchlady, they started a string of pornographic videos and lived in a sexbased relationship...cool.
