Some people think being gay is all about sex and you've got to have it as soon as you come out. What a bunch of crock! I think a lot of it goes back to how people understand the word gay. It seems that the word Heterosexual is a noun, it is a state of being, a wholesome goodness that not only defines a person's life but IS a person's life. However, Homosexual seems to be an adjective, talking about a way a person is, describing acts and ideas, but not a standard or a norm.
I'm still working out my own views on sex. In a way, writing this is thereaputic and helps me understand myself better as I write to share with others. Journaling. Look for a journaling section later, probably under my writing area. I worked so long at understanding things spiritually and religiously and though I have a long way to go (read: my life), I finally think I have a good deal of that figured out. And I needed that as a foundation. Now that I'm freer in that respect, I have the freedom to work on other areas and really come to an understanding of them.
Like sex.
I know I'm going to piss people off with this, but I think sex is all in what you make it. It's a beautiful thing, and I speak having never really experienced it, so maybe you can discount me. But I listen and learn well and sex also does not have to be with more than one person (count that and I'm a reliable source). Sex can be a very spiritual and connecting thing, whether you with the God-head or you with another person or both. It can be liberating. It can be fun. It can be like filet minion or like a McDonald's Cheeseburgers and would you like fries with that? It can be dangerous, kinky, wild, subtle, expressionate, boring, and any number of other things.
And I say there is nothing wrong with sex between people if everyone involved is comfortable with it. Aha, that's where people will get their panties in a wad with me. No, I don't think sex should be limited to just marriage. At the same time, I think sex, really good, fulfilling, connecting sex, that is, is mor than just your one night stands and tricks and hookers. If two people are comfortable with each other and feel they want to have that bond of sex, then I say more power to you. Be careful, be safe, but have fun and see what you learn from it. In fact, that doesn't have to be two. More than two. Imagine the possibilities.
As I say that, I also feel kind of hypocritical. Because on a more personal level I'm not sure if I want to have sex with different people. I think I'm still carrying some baggage from my "religio-centered", closeted past in thinking that sex is between a committed couple (I've at least let go of the man-woman-married thing). Part of me thinks sex with my friends (close friends) could be a very wonderful, beautiful thing. Then again, I'm probably the only one that thinks that of my group and even I'm not sure I'm ready for it.
But let's discount that. Let's say I find someone that I'm really into. Maybe it'll be something incredibly long term or maybe it'll be over in about a year. Who knows? But if I feel such a strong bond and sex seems like a great expression of the connection we have at that time, why should I not do it? That was rhetorical to everyone buy myself, thank you very much.
I suppose if that were the case, I could open myself up for sex. I guess for me it would at least need to be something more than just casual. I think I'd really have to think it out. A lot. Yeah, that probably has a lot to do with my anal-rentetive, J-like qualities where I want everything planned and understood. But I have spontenaity, and this is not where I'm going to discuss that. :-P I just mean that I would have to think about it. I think I'm becoming more open to the beauty that is sexuality and sensuality and the sex that comes of it. It's just taking time.
One final thought. Sex is actually a lot more than just penentration (however you do it). I think that any experience that really bonds you with someone (yourself included) could be called sex. A sensual massage, an incredibly romantic night, exploritory touch. Hmm...the options that are open....
May you be blessed by sex, however you find it or understand it.