Kath's Math Poem

Inspired By Dr. Seuss's Green Eggs and Ham

Kath I am.
I am Kath.

Yes, I am Kath.
Yes, I am Kath.
I do not like my class of math!

Do you like
Your class of Math?
"I do not like it," so says Kath.
"I do not like 
my class of math."

How do you feel
Towards your math?

"I feel resentful about math.
About my math I feel such wrath."

"I do not like
My class of math.
I do not like it," so says Kath.

Do you like it twice a week?
Do you like when Friedman speaks?

I do not like it twice a week.
I do not like when Friedman speaks.
I do not like that class of geeks.
I do not like those math-nerd freaks.
I do not like my class of math.
"I do not like it," so says Kath.

Since you take it will you pass?
Will you pass your hated class?

Alack, alas.
I cannot pass.
This hated class
Has mauled this lass.
My G.P.A. cannot surpass
A 2.5 thanks to this class.
The grader wants to flunk my ass.
I hate the whole ordeal en masse.


Would I? Could I? Get an A?
Never! Never! There's no way.

I could not, would not, get an A.

I might get it, I might see.
Math might make some sense to me!

It will not, cannot, not for me.
This math is whacked! It's ruined me.

I do not like Robert Friedman.
I do not like his lesson plans.
I do not like his vector spans.
I do not like that evil man.
I do not like his diagrams.
I do not like his three exams.
I do not think he gives a damn.
I do not like him. Pissed, I am.

Exams! Exams! 
Exams! Exams!
Must he give us
Three exams?

No more exams! No, please, not three!
Put down that test! Stop! Let me be!

I could not, would not, pass his tests.
I've tried, I've lied, I've even guessed.
I cannot pass, thought try my best.
If I say "east" the answer's "west."
It's not that this is all in jest,
I'm just the worst, I must attest! 
I'm on a long, ill-fated quest.
This math hath made me so depressed.

Say! Extra help?
Get extra help?
Would you, could you, get some help?

I cannot, could not, get some help. 

Would you, could you, beg for help?

I could not, would not, beg for help.
Not ask for aide. Not cry or yelp.
No tutor, please. Oh that I dread.
I'll fail this class myself, instead. 
It can't be learned. It can't be taught.
It's such a waste. It's all for naught. 
I cannot do this silly math. 
"I fear I'm doomed!" exclaimeth Kath.

"I do not like 
My class of math.
I do not like it,"
So says Kath.

Could I, Would I, 
Understand?
No way! Impossible
Demand. 
Cannot, Shall Not,
Raise my hand.
 My knowledge just will
Not expand.
It's the worst class in 
All the land!

I do not like the problem sets.
The problem sets, they make me fret.
I work all night, it's not done yet.
I'll get a "Very Poor," I'll bet.
I slave in Butler, soaked in sweat
Dreaming of sleep that I won't get,
And all I learn I'll soon forget.
The Gods of math just will not let
Me learn this crap. I am beset.
Taking this class gives me regret.

"I do not like this class called math!
I do not like it!" So whines Kath.

I do not like it, so I say.
Try it, try it? Answer's nay.
Try to learn? No way, no way!

Kath attends her every class.
Barely, barely, she will pass.

Say! I passed my class of math!
Ha ha! I am released of wrath!
Though I still hate the psychopath
That professor-ed this class of math.

Thanks to a major, major curve,
My GPA's on upward swerve.
I won't fail out, my "C" will serve.
I toughed it out! What strength! What nerve!

So I survived my hated class.
And I admit, I even passed!
And though the teacher is an ass
With the I.Q. of sassafras
Who probably suffers from gas, 
What do I care? I PASSED THE CLASS!!

"And now I'm done
With hated math!
Rejoice,
Rejoice!" says gleeful Kath.

The End!

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