Jack Schitt

The Lineage Revealed

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can handle the situation . . .

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Knee Deep Schitt, Inc.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children; the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, and Bull Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married for 15 years, Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a cowardly son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable through out childhood and consequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The Schitt Happens children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt, and Horse Schitt.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.


Now when somebody says you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them!




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Last Updated on June 1, 1999 by jinxkitten

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