Signs You've Been in Band Too Long

The best way to make a band student practice more is to give him/her a new toy for his/her instrument (like an instrument stand)

Band people who have gone through marching will really be able to relate to this! For non-band people: all of this is true (well, ok, some of them are specific to me, but most of them apply to all band students), so next time you see a band person, you can go make fun of them!!

You know you've been in band too long when...

1. When you hear music and you start marking time.
2. When you walk behind someone and you're in step with them.
3. When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song.
4. When all your friends are in the band.
5. When you don't mind changing clothes on the bus.  (or in the middle of the hall)
6. When you point out key changes and dynamics while listening to the radio.
7. When every guy/girl you're interested in is in the band.
8. When you like wearing your uniform.
9. When people ask you about your social life and you say, "Oh, you mean my flute/trumpet/drum/CLARINET etc.?"
10. When you consider your drill book a fashion accessory.
11. When you've had a "trombone-ectomy"
12. When you practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog.
13. When being mauled by a drum or a fake wooden rifle is a normal part of life.
14. When people worry when they see you without you instrument.
15. When "armed guard," means a girl with a pole instead of a guy with a gun.
16. When band camp is FUN
17. When you respond to "band nerd"
18. When someone says the word "box" and you automatically put your head up.
19. When you remember flats and sharps more easily than your name.
20. When you dress the lunch line, and urge others to do the same.  (trust me, this one's HARD to do =)  )
21. When you're alone and you suffocate because there's no one telling you to Breathe.  =)
22. When slides feel normal.  (for non-band people:  sliding is when you have your legs going one way, but your upper body from your waste up is turned 90+ degrees in another direction. If you're saying, "that doesn't sound hard," try this: get up against a wall and line up your feet so that they run parallel to the wall. Then put your back flat against the wall. Now try to hold it that way without the wall's help, and walk straight (the direction your feet are pointing), keeping your shoulders square.)
23. When your instrument has a name.
24. When you remember your instrument's birthday and forget your mom's.
25. When making a line is you biggest accomplishment of the day.
26. When back marching no longer reminds you of ballet.  (we march backwards up on pointed toes)
27. When you give your instrument a birthday party.
28. When you can make brown shoes look white.
29. When your uniform fits.
30. When black feathers become a fashion "do".  (plumes on top of our hats)
31. When you see your section more than you see your family.
32. When everyone wants to kill the other football team...and you want to kill the other band.  (or when you just plain ignore the game and do cheers with the other band)
33. When you think evening practices should last a half hour longer.
34. When you accidentally call your band director "Dad".
35. When you CAN sight-read.
36. When you can put on you uniform in less than 10 minutes.
37. When reeds taste good.
38. When Woody's Wings are part of you daily diet.
39. When you think your plume is alive.
40. When marking time is your favorite form of exercise.
41. When you have a neck strap/harness tan line.
42. When you subconsciously start practicing with a pencil.
43. When numbers past 8 aren't important.  (we march mostly in sets of 8 steps -- the standard size step size is 8 steps between each yard line)
44. When you're more opinionated about the Madison Scouts/Phantom Regiment Rivalry than the O.J. trial.
45. When you roll-step through the cafeteria so you don't spill your lunch
46. When letters past G aren't important.
47. When you get the jokes on this list.
48. when you think your Bandos or Dinkles are more comfortable than Reeboks or Nike
49. Woodwinds -- when you spend more on reeds every month than you do on food
50. When you start calling your instrument "your baby"
51. When you'd rather watch a marching show than TV
52. When you start checking the horizontal/vertical alignment, diagonals, and spacing of the desks in your classroom
53. When songs that get stuck in your head aren't from the radio -- they're from band class
54. When you have an e-mail group called "Band buddies"
55. When YOU CAN'T STAY AWAKE DURING THE PSAT BECAUSE SOME DUMB PERSON SCHEDULED BAND NIGHT FOR THE NIGHT BEFORE
56. When you have to cancel doctor/dentist appointments because you have to practice
57. When you have zero hour class at 7:45 a.m., so you go to Grandy's at 6:45 a.m. for spirit committee meetings
58. When you're a guy and you wear makeup (it's a Spirit Committee thing...)
59. When you listen to a song and you can pick out not only what instruments there are, but you can also tell if it's a soprano/alto/tenor sax or a soprano/alto/bass clarinet, etc.
60. When you tape yourself playing to make sure you have a good sound
61. When you take the mouthpiece off your woodwind instrument and play on it like a brass instrument, or when you put a woodwind mouthpiece on your brass instrument
62. When you sit down to think of items for this list and you whip down 15 in 45 seconds
63. When people think you're lost or you've died because you're not in/around the band hall
64. When you know how a suit is supposed to fit
65. When someone tells you to get a life and you retaliate with "Ha, I'm already IN band!"
66. When you start taking private lessons from your band director's wife
67. When your band director's wife offers to put bedroom furniture in the band room specifically for you
68. When you've practiced your instrument so much that it's worn down enough for you to see all the layers of metal in the keys
69. When you're not in percussion, but you know how to play all the little toys and gadgets they have (like the little thing that goes "clickity-clack" or the little wooden thing that goes, "Boing" or the fish thing or the bird call thing)
70. When the director asks, "Ok, so what are we doing wrong in this piece?" and you give real input
71. When you play a woodwind instrument and you warm up seriously