*****************

 A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I
> > > want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat
> > > this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have
> > > lost at least five pounds." 
> > > 
> > > When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's
> > > amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" 
> > > 
> > > The blonde nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop
> > > dead that third day." 
> > > 
> > > "From hunger, you mean?" 
> > > 
> > > "No, from skipping."
> > > 
> > > *****************************
> > > 
> > > A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems
> > > selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it.
> > > 
> > > One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a
> > > salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car
> > > easier to sell, but it's not legal."
> > > 
> > > "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the
> > > car."
> > > 
> > > "Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. 
> > > He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the
> > > odometer in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a
> > > problem
> > > to sell your car anymore." 
> > > 
> > > The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. 
> > > 
> > > About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you
> > > sell your car?" 
> > > 
> > > "No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on
> > > it."
> > > 
> > > $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
> > > 
> > > So there's this blonde out for a walk.  She comes to a river and sees
> > > another blonde on the opposite bank.  
> > > 
> > > "Yoohoo" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?" 
> > > 
> > > The second blonde looks up the river then down the
> > > river then shouts back, "You are on the other side."
> > > 
> > > 
> > > !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> > > 
> > > Two blondes were walking through the woods and came upon a set
> > > oftracks.  One blonde said that they were deer tracks. The other
> > > blonde said that they were moose tracks.  They were still arguing when
> > > the train hit 'em.
> > > 
> > > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> > > 
> > > On a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a
> > > blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move
> > > to coach since she did not have a first class ticket.  
> > > 
> > > The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York,
> > > and I'm not moving." 
> > > 
> > > Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the
> > > co-pilot to speak with her.  He went to talk with the woman asking her
> > > to please
> > > move out of the first class section.  
> > > 
> > > Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to
> > > New York, and I'm not moving." 
> > > 
> > > The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he
> > > should do.
> > > 
> > > The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to
> > > handlethis."  He went to the first class section and whispered in the
> > > blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section
> > > mumbling to herself,  "Why didn't anyone just say so?" 
> > > 
> > > Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked the captain
> > > what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. 
> > > He said, "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New
> > > York."
> > >