************************ > A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. > > > > > >"Well," says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll > have to > > >come back in six months for a follow-up." > > > > > >"Oh, no." the woman replies. "I want it all done in one. The > doctor > > >thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure > where we > put a > > >screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles > appearing, > > >you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up, and > they > disappear." > > > > > >"That's what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let's do that." > > > > > >Six months later the lady charges into the doctor's office. > > > > > >"Well, how's the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks. > > > > > >"Terrible!" the lady bellows. "It's the worst mistake I've ever > made." > > > > > >"What's wrong?" asks the doctor. > > > > > >"Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she hollers. > > > > > >"Lady," the doctor retorts, "those aren't bags, those are your > breasts. > > >And if you don't leave that screw alone, you're going to have a > beard!" > >