>> >1999 DARWIN AWARD RUNNERS-UP:
>> >>
>> >>#1 - LOS ANGELES, CA. Ani Saduki, 33, and his brother decided to
>> >>remove a bees' nest from a shed on their property with the aid of a
>> >>pineapple.  A pineapple is an illegal firecracker which is the
explosive
>> >>equivalent of one-half stick of dynamite. They ignited the fuse and
>> >>retreated to watch from inside their home, behind a window some 10 feet
>> >>away from the hive/shed.  The concussion of the explosion shattered the
>> >>window inwards, seriously lacerating Ani.  Deciding Mr. Saduki needed
>> >>stitches, the brothers headed out to go to a nearby hospital. While
>> walking
>> >>towards their car, Ani was stung three times by the surviving bees.
>> >>Unbeknownst to either brother, Ani was allergic to bee venom, and died
of
>> >>suffocation en-route to the hospital.
>> >>
>> >>#2 - Derrick L. Richards, 28, was charged in April in Minneapolis with
>> >>third-degree murder in the death of his beloved cousin, Kenneth E.
>> >>According to police, Derrick suggested a game of Russian roulette and
put
>> a
>> >>semiautomatic pistol (instead of the more traditional revolver) to
Ken's
>> >>head and fired.
>> >>
>> >>#3 - PHILLIPSBURG, NJ. An unidentified 29 year old male choked to death
on
>> >>a sequined pastie he had orally removed from an exotic dancer at a
local
>> >>establishment. "I didn't think he was going to eat it," the dancer
>> >>identified only as "Ginger" said, adding "He was really drunk."
>> >>
>> >>#4 - In February, according to police in WINDSOR, ONT., Daniel Kolta,
27,
>> >>and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie
in
>> >>the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles.
>> >>
>> >>#5 - MOSCOW, Russia-A drunk security man asked a colleague at the
Moscow
>> >>bank they were guarding to stab his bulletproof vest to see if it would
>> >>protect him against a knife attack. It didn't, and the 25-year-old
guard
>> >>died of a heart wound. (It's good to see the Russians getting into the
>> >>spirit of the Darwin Awards.)
>> >>
>> >>#6 - In FRANCE, Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when
>> >>he decided to commit suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and
tied
>> >>a noose around his neck.  He tied the other end of the rope to a large
>> >>rock.  He drank some poison and set fire to his clothes. He even tried
to
>> >>shoot himself at the last moment. He jumped and fired the pistol. The
>> >>bullet missed him completely and cut through the rope above him. Free
of
>> >>the threat of hanging, he plunged into the sea. The sudden dunking
>> >>extinguished the flames and made him vomit the poison. He was dragged
out
>> >>of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to a hospital, where he
>> died
>> >>of hypothermia.
>> >>
>> >>#7 - RENTON, WASHINGTON, USA. A Renton, Washington man tried to commit
a
>> >>robbery. This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by the fact
>> that
>> >>he had no previous record of violent crime, and by his terminally
stupid
>> >>choices as listed below:
>> >>1. The target was H&J Leather & Firearms...a gun shop.
>> >>2. The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial
portion
>> >>   of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed handguns in
>> public
>> >>places
>> >>3. To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked Police patrol car
>> >>   parked at the front door.
>> >>4. An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter, having
coffee
>> >>   before reporting to duty.  Upon seeing the officer, the would-be
robber
>> >>   announced a holdup and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a
clerk
>> >>promptly returned fire, removing him from the gene pool.  Several other
>> >>customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire. No one else was hurt.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>AND THE 1998 DARWIN AWARD WINNER IS..... THOMPSON, MANATOBA, CANADA.
>> >>
>> >>Telephone relay company night watchman Edward Baker, 31, was killed
early
>> >>Christmas morning by excessive microwave radiation exposure.  He was
>> >>apparently attempting to keep warm next to a telecommunications
feed-horn.
>> >>Baker had been suspended on a safety violation once last year,
according
>> to
>> >>Northern Manitoba Signal Relay spokesperson Tanya Cooke.  She noted
that
>> >>Baker's earlier infraction was for defeating a safety shut-off switch
and
>> >>entering a restricted maintenance catwalk in order to stand in front of
>> the
>> >>microwave dish. He had told coworkers that it was the only way he could
>> >>stay warm during his twelve-hour shift at the station, where winter
>> >>temperatures often dip to forty below zero.  Microwaves can heat water
>> >>molecules within human tissue in the same way that they heat food in
>> >>microwave ovens.
>> >>For his Christmas shift, Baker reportedly brought a twelve pack of beer
>> and
>> >>a plastic lawn chair, which he positioned directly in line with the
>> >>strongest microwave beam.  Baker had not been told about a tenfold
boost
>> in
>> >>microwave power planned that night to handle the anticipated increase
in
>> >>holiday long-distance calling traffic. Baker's body was discovered by
the
>> >>daytime watchman, John Burns, who was greeted by an odor he mistook for
a
>> >>Christmas roast he thought Baker must have prepared as a surprise.
Burns
>> >>also reported to NMSR company officials that Baker's unfinished beers
had
>> >>exploded.
>> >>
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