Terms and Conditions for entering David's Nice Site
The views and opinions expressed within David's Nice Site are complete bullshit. None of it is to be taken seriously, it's all just a load of bollocks presented in the form of words and pictures.
Ages restrictions apply as follows: You may not enter if you are an old fart. If you are uncertain as to the status of how old your fartness is you may perform the following test:
Question: If you saw an blind old lady drop her purse and in turn scattering a wealth of ten pound notes on the very pavement below her, what would you do?
A. I would lay the smackdown on her candyass, pocket the cash and then leg it to her house and steal her TV then fuck her grandson and kill her dog.
B. I would stand nearby and laugh so much that I soil my pants.
C. I would help her pick up the money and give most of it back to her while still keeping some for myself and then accept the reward of a single toffee.
D. I would assess the situation, quickly round up a party of nearby good honest christians and proceed to assist the old tart in the process of picking up her money. After this I would feed and nurse her until she regains composure and can once again brave the streets alone.
Answers:
If you answered A then you are sick twisted perverted psychotic homocidal maniac, come right in!
If you answered B then you are decidedly average, although you really should sort out the pant shitting problem. You may enter the site.
If you answered C then you have made the correct choice, you are a perfect candidate to enter the site.
If you answered D then I am afraid you are a boring old fart, you may NOT enter the site. Go and play golf or something.
If you are offended by cheap, tastless, offensive material then you should not enter this site, although you may take action by means of going and fucking yourself.
If you are fat/stupid/ugly then I recommend you sort youself out. We don't take too kindly to lardarses/retards/mingers around these parts.
Please don't hesitate to query my conduct on any number of issues concerning the material on my website. Just do it quietly by yourself.