do you ever sit and just think? i mean -really- think? like about -real- issues plauging today's society? i didn't either, until i lost a friend. i used to think that canada was a really safe place to live, and i didn't recognize the gang problem here...until today. i got up and treated today like any other moday; i dragged my feet as i got ready for school and i complained to my mom about the weekend being over. i rode the bus unusually silent and got to school on time. i walked into the caf after going to my locker and was greated by a rather distraught friend. she gave me a big hug and treated my solumn look as something different. she asked if i had heard the news. i'm not much of a fan of tv, i averagly watch about 3 shows a week, none of them being news. i sat at my table with my friend and she talked about her weekend for close to 10 minutes before i realized something serious had happened. i asked her bluntly what happened; she just stared at me open-mouthed. i thought saddam had declared war or something. her face showed no emotion until she spoke these words: 'justin franco was murdered'. at first, i thought she was joking..i mean justin's one of the happiest guys i've ever met in my life. he always wore a smile and was quick to greet those that looked upset. he sat in the 1st desk in the 2nd row of my english 20 class. i didn't know him well, but i considered him a friend. in my first block class, psych, they had a prayer over the intercom and that was when the reality of it hit me. he was dead. 3rd block had to be the hardest block of my high school life...english. my english teacher welcomed us and we sat silently as she talked. most of that class was spent talking about justin, a friend to all. she told us the truths and lies of what happened to him. the truth is, at around 2:30am yesterday morning about 20 guys surrounded a kareoke bar called echo, jsut off whyte ave. there was fighting and the police were called...when the cops got there everyone scattered...revealing justin, lying in a pool of blood, stabbed repeatedly. an ambulance was immediatly called and he was rushed to university hospital, a few blocks away, where he was pronouced dead later that night.

this whole thing made me think...like a lot. first, i spent much of my day trying to convince myself that it wasn't really happening, it hurt so much to think about it that i couldn't. then i started thinking about how unfair it was. -no- gang stabbings, shootings, -anythings- are fair. that's when i realized how out of hand gangs are becoming. do you ever wonder just what happened to make things to get so bad? i know i do...

i have many random thoughts...as of late, many have been on disturbing topics. some things just don't make sense to me, and for me to say this is a great statement. many things make sense to me...actually almost -everything- makes sense to me. but, one thing that doesn't make sense to me is what goes through someone's mind before they kill someone...or what goes through the mind of someone who's lying on a hospital bed -dying-... {end of ponderances for tonite}
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