Self Pleasure

I was totally caught off guard when my ex called and told me that he need to spend sometime with his son, especially now that he is a teenager and I had been telling him this for the longest, and since he didn’t have to work Saturday for a change he wanted to pick him up tonight and spend the day with him. The shock gave when I told my son of his plans and he was all for it, then again what 15 year old wants to be around his mother all the time anyway.

Once he and his father were gone, what to get into is now the problem. All my close girlfriends are either married or have small children and to get together with them have to be plan way ahead of time. So I guess it will be a night of reading, movies and deep thinking. I think it will be a movie and I might as well just check out what is on cable tonight. Surfing the cable guide channel and seeing that nothing much is on and why would there be, it’s Friday night and most are out clubbing or spending time with someone special. “Someone special”, it has been so long since I had someone special in my life that I don’t remember what that feels like, hell I never knew what it felt like. My ex and I never did anything special, never went out for a romantic dinner or to a movie, just gone bar hopping all the time and that got real old for me and so he just went by himself. Besides, one of us had to be the adult in that relationship for we had a child that needed tending too.

“Nine and a Half Weeks”, is on the Lifetime Channel, now why would they have this movie on here and then again it is a woman’s channel and it is 10:30pm and it has been along time since I have seen it, or should I be seeing it is the question!?!? Of course I would come in on the scene where she is in her office and he is on the phone telling her what he wanted her to do, but this time around I couldn’t find the whole thing crazy for I was much younger when I first saw the movie and now knowing how much a man’s voice and the words he is saying to me can cause my body to react, and right now, I am so feeling what he is asking her to do and the sad part is, I am always horny but never call up any of my “male playmates” who would be more then willing to service my every need.

Alright, enough of this movie, I am so moist right now and the last thing I want to do is soak my couch, especially when I’m here alone. Maybe I should call someone up and then again, I just don’t know. Just then the phone rang, which scared the shit out of me but once I saw who it was on the caller ID I was glad for the distraction. My best friend who now lives a couple of hours away, just called to check up on me.

“What are you up to girl?” she asks me with a hint of suspicions in her voice.

“Not much, spending a quiet evening along for a change and deciding whether to invite someone over”, I tell here with a light hearted laugh.

My girl knows me all to well and the only person on this earth that knows everything there is to know about me and of course she keeps me grounded and make sure I am doing what I said that I want to be doing and she knows that right now in my life I am at a place where booty calls just don’t do it anymore. But she also know that I’m not totally ready for a deep relationship with anyone, but I guess you could call it a starter relationship, just someone to spend time with, go to a movie or maybe even dinner, someone who I won’t be and he doesn’t want to be under foot 24/7, I guess you could call that person a very special friend.

“Now I know you aren’t going to go there, so you best take your ass to bed and do what you need to do!!” she tells me and start laughing very hard soon after.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to call anyone but I am going to go to bed early or as soon as I get your ass off my phone!” We both laugh, caught up on our lives for the week, said good night and I took a long hot shower, oiled myself up and laid down for the night and of course I couldn’t sleep for I kept hearing his voice instructing her on how to touch herself for him in the movie. I found myself slowly rubbing my nipples, which were already hard and erect, just using my middle finger and drawing circles around the edge of one and then the other. I could feel a slow burning heat building up in my lower body that shouldn’t be happening but I so love the way my body reacts to touch.

I starting thinking about as to why some of my male friends would even want to touch me, or always want to once they have touched me. I’m no spring chicken, I have put on a lot of weight, men aren’t as quick to approach me anymore when I’m out when friends like they use too, but they do stare at me a lot, even when they are running their game on my friends. So what do the staring mean I wonder? All I know is right now I am in need of release and don’t want to call anyone to help me out. The sensation I am getting from the tender play I am doing with my breast and nipples is getting to be too much. I can feel my juices flowing between my legs and I spend them wider as if someone is there to drink some of it. An image of a man comes to my mind, someone who would be so in tune with me, on the same level as I, someone who could just look at me and I would lose all control, but he wouldn’t know it.

Enough already, I need to release this pressure, but what would I use this time around. I am thankful that my ex had built me a nice nightstand with one drawer on it with a lock. When he was here I use to keep important papers in there, but now my important companions are locked away safe and sound. Sliding the drawer open, there they are all ready to play with me for a little while. But which one am I in the mood for. I like the one with the clitoris stimulator on it, but that isn’t going to get me off fast enough. My favorite is the vibrator that is 8 inches long, and looks way to much like a male penis, but I love the suction cup on the bottom of it and the fact that it feels like real skin helps a lot, but tonight I need old reliable. Just a simple sliver vibrator, that feels so good against my clit. The sad thing is, I can’t use it as much as I like, for the sensitivity of my clit is lessen with each use.

But tonight, I really don’t care so I’ll spread a little bit of lube over it, turn it on to low vibrate and just pleasure myself and think of it as that “special” someone in my life. It feels cool at first so I lightly touch my clit and lips with it until it warms up which doesn’t take that long. Moving it over my pussy very slowly, I close my eyes and enjoy the smooth feel rubbing against it. How much I would love to have someone lips doing the exact same thing right now with his tongue, so I use the tip of my playmate and do just that. It feels so good and with each past over the outer lips, I slowly begin to move it inward but making sure I don’t come near my clit at all right now. The muscle inside me begins to contract with each stroke. Damn, I could use a nice hard dick right now!

My body is so ready to explode but not yet, it is such a good thing that I know my body and just where to place my playmate or this feeling would be short lived. Sliding the nice warm barrel between the slit of my lips and just teasing my own self by slowly inserting it a bit at a time into my overly wet pussy and loving the feel of the vibrating against the lips, I just have to close my legs to feel it much better, it reminds me of someone’s tongue probing and licking inside of me. Damn this is feeling way too good!!

I can’t take it much more, I need to let go, my body is tensing so bad. I set the speed up to medium and circle again around the inside of my very wet lips as my body begins to not listen to my mind anymore. The way my hips begin to moved against this piece of metal has to be illegal, but I don’t care anymore, I just want to allow my body to give into the moment. One more circles around and I start teasing my swollen and throbbing clit. I got to hold on just a little bit longer but the feel of the vibrating against it is getting to be too much, my body is getting hotter and hotter. I can feel my back begin to go into that all too familiar arch. Slowing down the stoking on my clit, my whole body is now on edge and the walls of my vagina is beginning to tighten even more and so I just place the tip of my playmate on the right spot at the right angle and allow my body to have the release it has been crying for. “Oh my god!!!!” is all I can say and screaming out way to loudly, at the same time my body gave into a very intense and hard release that my shook it like it was being thrown around by some child. “Damn!!” I couldn’t believe at what was happening. My body wasn’t mining anymore, but I was loving the feeling, the intensity, the heat, the feel.

Trying to calm my breathing, the image of a man came to my mind once again. Maybe he is the one who can replace my playmate? Maybe he is the one who can make my body react the way it just did? Maybe he is my “special” friend? Maybe he wants to be or maybe he just doesn’t know it…but who is this image of a man that keeps appearing in my mind? I don’t know, but right now, I sure could use a smoke and a drink. Well maybe the drink, my playmate did enough smoking for the both of us!