1) North is no longer a direction, it's a building
2) Your emergency call boxes don't work
3) You get a parking ticket for parking farther than you have to
4) Getting the flu means getting some food
5) The centerpiece in your quad is a statue of rocks
6) There is a manmade waterfall next to the road
7) There are 5 buildings in the quad
8) Your teacher comes to class 5 mins late with a smile (note: because they just got laid)
9) Going out means going to the next residence hall over
10) You get dressed up to stay in
11) You get nutrition from a place called Boozel
12) If you have to walk more than 15 mins to where you need to be you don't go
13) If you go to the health center with a broken finger they ask you if you're pregnant
14) Anytime something funny happens the phrase “I’m putting that in my profile” immediately follows
15) You have C.A.’s instead of R.A.’s
16) Collecting fish is a hobby
17) Half of the sidewalk lights on campus work
18) Getting a job is impossible
19) You get a month for winter break
20) Going to the union is a BIG event
21) You get a better workout walking to the gym than in the gym
22) Only half of your campus is pretty
23) The smoke stack is the highest landmark
24) Buildings have 3 letter names (“where ya going?” “ECB, BSB”)
25) You don’t know the difference between further and farther
26) Rearranging your room at 12:30 AM is not uncommon
27) You only have a Giant Eagle to go to
28) You have to drive 30 mins to the nearest Walmart on a regular basis
29) Your idea of Saturday night entertainment consists of cowboy hats & bull riding(Ghost riders you sicko)
30) Come 5 o’clock Friday everyone has gone home for the weekend
31) If your car breaks down the only thing the cops can do is let you RENT jumper cables
32) For entertainment you dress up w/your underwear on the outside of your clothes, stand in your doorway, and say hello to everyone who passes by (those people are prospective students)
33) The only way off campus is by the “happy bus”
34) You know the food delivery people by name
35) You shower with guests (shower flies)
36) Sidewalks are not strategically placed
37) You get a twisted sense of humor because you stare at cars trying to make it up the hill in the winter
38) Instead of giving out candy at Easter they give out condoms
39) You steal lunch trays to go down the ski hill on (like sleds)
40) There was a big to-do b/c there was a statue of Sigmund Freud outside a building
44) Teachers threaten to strike on a weekly basis
45) The rape stairs (note: the stairs by VSH that are meant for men with long legs who can easily attack a women who can't climb the stairs as fast)
46) More people go to the distributor and the bar than go to class
47) People steal stop signs for fun
48) It’s not uncommon for the washer/dryer to eat your money AND your clothes
49) You communicate with people by banging on the floor, ceiling, or walls
50) Pillow fights with your CA break out at 1 AM in the HALL
51) Having soap in the bathrooms is like finding a diamond in the rough
52) You break the campus water line all over an innocent 1am foot bath during finals week
53) You drink more than you study during finals week
54) You find it necessary to have a lock on your refrigerator
55) It's not uncommon to see a sober girl with a pumpkin penis wandering the halls
56) You talk to your roommates via instant messenger
57) The only pets [or shall i say pests] allowed in the residence halls are LADY BUGS
58) You can walk from East Lake parking lot to your residence hall while talking to a cop on the phone and he can watch your every move from his desk (via cameras)
59)Your internet only works HALF of the time, yet you pay hundreds of dollars for it!