(Above is a picture of Hubbie and Me on one New Years Eve!)
I just thought I would put some very good "just thinking" thoughts here.
I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals!
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what the Chinese mothers use? Perhaps toothpicks?
Employment applications always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write...A good Doctor!
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do... write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Last week, I went to a furniture store to look for a decaffeinated coffee table. They couldn't help me.
What's another word for "thesaurus"?
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights. Now it looks like I'm the only one moving.
I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on perpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)...and says, "Here, you can go."
I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now, but leave a message and I'll call when I'm out."
Bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. Don't know how I got there.
A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and ......Ooohh, that's much better.
I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wakeup letter.
I'm taking La maze classes. I'm not having a baby, I'm just having trouble breathing.
When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, "I want my daughter back by 8:15." I said, "the middle of August? Cool!"
My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, "If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?" I said, "No." She said, "Okay, forget it."
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?
Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID?
I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
I accidentally installed the deer whistles on my car backwards. Now everywhere I go, I'm chased by a herd of deer.
I got stopped by a cop the other day. He said, "Why'd you run that stop sign?" I said, "Because I don't believe everything I read."
It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
Ballerinas are always on their toes. Why don't they just get taller ballerinas?
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.
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