(Pronounce MIASS as my-ass)
~~~
Subject: Manufacturing Information Access Software System 
(MIASS) 

This memo is to announce the development of a new plant-
wide software system. We are currently building a data 
warehouse that will contain all plant manufacturing data. The 
program is referred to as the "Manufacturing Information 
Access Software System" (MIASS).

Next Monday at 9:00 there will be a meeting in which I will 
show MIASS. We will continue to hold demonstrations 
throughout the month so  that all employees will have an 
opportunity to get a good look at MIASS.  

As for the status of the implementation of the program, I have 
not addressed the networking aspects so currently only one 
person can be in MIASS at a time. This should change as 
MIASS expands.

Several people are using the program already and have come 
to depend on it. Just this morning I walked into a 
subordinate's office and was not surprised to find that he had 
his nose buried in MIASS. I've noticed that some of the less 
technical personnel are somewhat afraid of MIASS.
Just last week, when asked to enter some information into 
the program, I had a secretary say to me "I'm a little nervous, 
I've never put anything in MIASS before." I volunteered to help 
her through her first time and when we were through she 
admitted that it was relatively painless and she was actually 
looking forward to doing it again. She went so far as to say 
that after using SAP and Oracle, she was ready to kiss MIASS.

I know there are concerns over the virus that was found in 
MIASS upon initial installation, but I am pleased to say the 
virus has been eliminated and we were able to save MIASS.  
In the future, however, protection will be required prior to 
entering MIASS.

We planned this database to encompass all information 
associated with the business. So as you begin using the 
program, feel free to put anything you want into MIASS.  As 
MIASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be 
commonplace to walk by an office and see a manager hand a 
paper to an employee and say "Here, stick this in MIASS."

This program has already demonstrated great benefit to the 
company during recent OSHA and EPA audits. After requesting 
certain historical data the agency representatives were 
amazed at how quickly we provided  the information.  When 
asked how the numbers could be retrieved so rapidly our 
Environmental Manager proudly stated "Simple, I just pulled 
them out of MIASS".