There was a man who was sent to prison.  When his release date began
getting closer and closer, the man started to think of a way to make
money once he was out.  One day, the man was sitting in his cell, and an
ant caught his eye.  At first, he was going to kill the ant, but just as
he was about to squash the litte ant, he had a brain storm.  If he could
teach this ant how to talk, surely he would be able to make money.  Good
money, for who had ever taught an ant to talk?

Every day, the man worked on teaching the ant how to talk.  When it was
time for him to be released, he had succeeded.  The ant could talk.

The first place the man went, was a bar.  He had carefully put the ant
in his pocket so that he wouldn't be crushed and when he went up to the
bar and found an empty barstool, he took the ant out of his pocket and
gently placed it down.  When the bartended came over, he asked the man
what he wanted.  "I'd like to make a deal with you," he told the
bartender.  "What kind of deal?" the bartender asked.  "If I show you
something so amazing, so unbelievable, so incredible, can I have a free
beer?"  The bartender thought about it for a moment. Finally, he
agreed.  "Okay," said the man.  "You see this ant?" he asked.  

"Wait, hold on a minute," the bartender said.  He then proceeded to
grind the ant into a pulp.  He took his rag and wiped it off the bar. 
"now, what is it that you want to show me?"