Mr Jones In The Church

One day Mrs.  Jones went to have a talk with the minister at her
church. "Reverend," she said, " I have a problem--my husband
keeps falling asleep during your sermons.  It's very
embarrassing.  What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister.  "Take this hatpin with >
you. I'll be able to tell when Mr.  Jones is sleeping, and I will
motion to you at specific times.  When I motion, you give him a
good poke in the leg with the pin."

In church the following Sunday, Mr.  Jones dozed off.  Noticing
this, the preacher put his plan to work.  "...And who made the
ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs.  Jones.
"Jesus!" cried Mr. Jones as his wife jabbed him in the leg with the
hatpin. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. >

Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again.   Again, the minister noticed.
"Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning
towards Mrs.Jones. "God!" cried out Mr. Jones as he was stuck
again with the hatpin.

"Right again, Mr. Jones," said the minister, smiling and
continuing his sermon.

Before long, Mr. Jones dozed off again.  However, this time the
minister didn't notice.  As he picked up the tempo of his
sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals
to wake her husband again. She was just sticking her husband with the 
hatpin
again when the minister asked, "...And what did Eve say to Adam after
she bore him his 99th son?"

Mr. Jones shrieked,  "You stick that goddamned thing in me one
more time and I'll break it off and shove it up your ass!!!!"

The sermon was over.