The Red Shirt
     Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a Captain and his crew
were in danger of being boarded by pirates.  As the crew became frantic,
the Captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First
Mate quickly retrieved the Captain's red shirt, which the Captain promptly
put on and led the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. 
     Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were
repelled.  Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate
vessels sending boarding parties.  The crew cowered in fear, but the
Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!".  Once again, he
was brought his shirt, and, once again, he put it on, and, although there
were some more casualties, the Captain and his crew repelled both pirate
boarding parties.  
     Weary from all the battles, the men sat around on deck that night
recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and
asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battles?".  
     The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a Captain can give,
exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the
wound, and thus you men will continue to fight unafraid!".  The men sat in
silence marveling at the courage of such a man.  As dawn came the next
morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all
sending boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked
again to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command.
     The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!".