A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the
front door.  "Hurry!" she said, "stand in the corner." She quickly
rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. 
"Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered.  "Just pretend you're a
statue." 
"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly.  "The Smiths bought
one for their bedroom.  I liked it so much, I got one for us too." No more
was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to
sleep.

Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the
kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.

"Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something.  I stood like an idiot
at the Smiths' for three days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of
water."