Top 20 Engineers' Terminologies

1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED - We are still 
pissing in the wind.

2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE 
PROBLEM- We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION - We know who to blame.

4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH - It works OK, but looks very 
hi-tech.

5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED - We are so far behind 
schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.

6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE - The darn thing 
blew up when we threw the switch.

7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING - We are so surprised 
that the stupid thing works.

8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED - The only person 
who understood the thing quit.

9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS - It is so wrapped up in red tape that the 
situation is about hopeless.

10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT - Forget it! We have enough problems for 
now. 

11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL - Let's spread the responsibility 
for the screw up.

12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING - We'll listen to what you 
have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already 
done.

13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION - I can't wait to hear this bull! 

14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS - Come into my office, I'm lonely. 

15. ALL NEW - Parts not interchangeable with the previous design. 

16. RUGGED - Too damn heavy to lift!

17. LIGHTWEIGHT - Lighter than RUGGED.

18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - One finally worked.

19. ENERGY SAVING - Achieved when the power switch is off. 

20. LOW MAINTENANCE - Impossible to fix if broken.