Marital Software Tips

Last year a friend of mine upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found
that it's now a memory hog leaving very little system resources for
other applications.

He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes
which are further consuming valuable resources.  No mention of this
particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the
documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be
expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched
at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity.
He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, Beerbash 2.5,
and Pubnight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing
the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).

At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of
undesired plugins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta
release.  Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.

Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0

 - A "Don't remind me again" button.
 - A Minimize button.
 - An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with
the option to uninstall at any time without the loss of cache and other
system resources.
 - An  option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would
allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful.

I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by
sticking with Girlfriend 2.0.  Even here, however, I found many problems.
Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You
must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first.  Other users say this is a long
standing bug which I should have been aware of.  Apparently the versions
of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port.

You'd think they would have fixed that stupid bug by now.  To make matters
worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well
leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.

Another thing that sucks - all versions of Girlfriend continually popup
little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.

******* BUG WARNING *******
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug.  If you try to install Mistress 1.1
before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before
doing the uninstall itself.  Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install,
claiming insufficient system resources.

******* BUG WORKAROUNDS ********
To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system
and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0.  Also,
beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry
viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.  Another solution would be to run
Mistress 1.0 via a Usenet provider under an anonymous name.  Here again,
beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the
Usenet.