Added: October 21, 1997 Submitted by Unknown
My new roommate drove the 25 miles to his parents' house every weekend to pick up his mail. I asked him why he didn't just change his address so he wouldn't have to make the drive all the time. He said, "because then, my parents' mail will come here!" So, I never explained it to this guy (26 years old), I just let him make the drive for the next year. Porn catalogs, everything, went straight to his parents'.

Added: October 21, 1997 Submitted by Kristian
During my younger days in boarding school the majority of the student body had to have their teeth corrected some way. There were those who endured the pain of braces, the annoyance of retainers, and so on. However, some lucky students just had super model teeth. One friend of mine had the largest retainer I had ever seen. It looked like he had a tennis ball in his mouth. One evening while walking down the hall a fellow student asked what he had in his mouth. "It's a retainer," he replied. "Cool, whose is it?" This is the same student who when his friend was playing golf on the computer his friend yelled out, "Yippie, I got a hole in one!" His reply was, "Cool, in how many shots?"

Added: March 11, 1998 Submitted by DeLayne
My very first roommate forgot to buy a trash container when we first moved in. He decided to use his clothes hamper, since he was never planning on putting clothes in there in the first place, probably because they were easier to find on the floor. He liked the idea of a hamper trash container, because it was very big and would hold a lot of trash. He would only have to take trash out every couple of weeks (so he thought). One day he asked me why all of these fruit flies were flying around his desk (where he kept his trash container), but not around my stuff. It just reinforced the fact that he is terminally stupid.

Added: March 11, 1998 Submitted by Nik the Greek
I live with another woman who is about thirty years old. She is totally stupid. She has done a lot of stupid things and I am sure she will keep on like this until she dies. One day she was trying to fix the cable of a ceiling lamp because it was out of order. The first time she had an electric shock because she tried to fix it without switching off the main power. I thought that she would switch it off before she tries again but, for my surprise, she just wore a pair of gloves and tried again. I was amazed by her stupidness. I could not stand it anymore and asked her why she didn't switch off the power and she told me: "You are right. That's a good idea.."

Added: March 31, 1998 Submitted by Dan
One evening, my roommate was telling me a story about one of our former roommates.    Apparently they ordered pizza and cheese bread one night.  The former roommate was enjoying the meal, when all of a sudden he yelled....."This cheese bread is nothing but cheese and bread!!!" 

Added: June 1, 1998 Submitted by Rodney
I'm not saying that my ex roommate Dan is stupid, I'm just saying that he's one chip shy of a cookie. One day at lunch, we were all discussing where we would live over Christmas break. My wonderful AFRICAN AMERICAN friend, Letta, said that she would be living in a certain neighborhood of Columbus, at which point Dan shouts "Don't live there! That's a BLACK neighborhood!" I guess natural selection doesn't always work.

Added: June 19, 1998 Submitted by Melissa
My freshman year in college, I had a roommate who was bright enough but had a tendency to speak before thinking. The first classic scenario from that year was when we had just moved in (there were 5 of us in a "suite") and were discussing the fact that our college was very close to the state capital. "Wow," the roomie says, "wouldn't it be great if we had a war?" We looked at her blankly. "I mean, if we wanted to protest it would be SO convenient!"

The other memorable incident was a few months later. "What are you guys doing?" she said as she entered the room. "We were just talking about Jim Henson." "Ohhhhh yeah, Jim Henson. Is he still dead?" Three of us burst out laughing while another roomie replied, "No, he's back from the grave and touring with Elvis this summer." She merely looked confused and left again.

Added: November 11, 1998 Submitted by Mike
One day, my former roommate decided to cook on the grill.  Well this intelligent being turns on the gas and finds that the electric start isn't working. He then goes into the house to get a match (keep in mind the the gas is still running).  In the house he find a butane lighter, which is empty, so he attempts to fill the empty BUTANE lighter with zippo lighter fluid.  The Gas is still running. Failing and spilling the fluid all over the lighter, he then for some reason clicks the little electric trigger (that made a nice flame.) Again, keep in mind the gas has been running for at least 5 minutes.   So after the lighter incident I realized that the grill was still running. So I went outside, shut the gas off and waited about 5 minutes to let the gas clear out.   After I feel it is safe to light the grill, I turn on the gas, throw in a match and presto...its ready to cook.  My roommate then asks, "How'd you do that?" At this point I proceeded to tattoo the word "idiot" on his forehead.

Added: January 26, 1999 Submitted by Marcus
I was busy writing some computer program for one of my classes and my roommate asked me if he could use my coffee maker. I said, "sure." The next thing I hear is, "Hey, where do you put the coffee?" I turn to see that he has filled the filter basket with water and is (unsuccessfully) trying to keep the water in the basket by plugging the hole at the bottom with his finger. He and the floor are both covered with water.