Cats aren't clean, they're just covered in their spit.

Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom he tourture and death of his fellow creatures is amusing in itself.
-- J.A. Froude

When a man wants to murder a tiger, he calls it sport; when a tiger tries to murder him, he calls it ferocity.
-- George Bernard Shaw

My cat's breath smells like cat food.
-- Ralph Wiggum

Everybody knows that is you have a brother you're going to fight.
-- Liam Gallagher

Why do you love animals called pets, but eat animals called dinner?
-- bumper sticker

I want to go home.
-- Ainsley Dicks, weirdo

I don't want to acheive immortality throug my work... I want to acheive it through not dying.
-- Woody Allen

I want to live forever, or die trying.

Nature gave us two good legs to get around, we never needed the wheel.
-- Stuart Davis

Why is everybody worried about drugs killing brain cells if no one uses them anyways.
--Peirce Droman, GH

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victums he intends to eat until he eats them.
--Samuel Bultar

Learn everything your parents know. Don't worry, it should only take a day.
-- bus ad

Keep the shocked look on you face and move slowly towards the cake.
-- Homer J. Simpson

If a tree falls in the forest, and lands on a mime, does anyone care?

Oh, no! Bata!
-- Snake

¿Oye usted como graznas los patos?

The greatness of any nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way animals are treated.
-- Gandhi

Animals are my friends and I don't eat my friends.

I am in favor of animal rights as well as human rights. That is the way of the whole human being.
-- Abraham Lincoln

Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight.
-- Albert Schweitzer

The happiest person in a grocery store is a vegetarian looking at the pricesin the meat department
--Ann Landers

Death is a once in a lifetime experience.

Death is never prevented... just postponed

Contrary to popular belief, life is like being thrown into a bed of roses. You get to smell the roses and feel the thorns.

At least pulling wool over your eyes keeps your face from freezing.

If you take life too seriously you won't get to laugh along with everybody else when you fail.

I have all the answers, it's just that most of them aren't right.

Not that i know Satan or anything.
--Ms. Gladney

It’s the friends you can call up at 4 AM that matter.
-- Marlene Dietrich

You can’t eat your friends and have them too.
-- Budd Schulberg

Not all those who wander are lost.
-- J.R.R. Tolkein

Professionals built the Titanic, amateurs the ark.
--Henry Ford

If at first, you don't succeed, try again. If that doesn't work, forget it. No use being a fool about it.
--W.C.Fields

It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.
-- Andrew Jackson

Even if I'm not asleep, that doesn't mean I'm awake.

Everybody has a photographic memory. . . . Some don't have film.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Fat people are harder to kidnap.

Hard work has future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

He who slings mud looses ground.

The best way to get back on your feet: miss a car payment.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot.
--Walter Bagehut

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself; hire someone; or forbid your kids to do it.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.