Y.M.C.A.Hotel

London

Dear Signore Direttore,

 Now I am a-tella you story wot I was a-treated at your hotella.

 I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a young cristian man at your hotella.

 When I comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed.How can I sleep with no shit in the bed?So I calla down to receptione and tella:"I wanta shit".They tella me:"Go to the toilet".I say:"No,no I wanta shit in my bed".They say:"You`d better not shit in your bed,you sonna-wa-bitch".What is sonna-wa-bitch?.

 I go down for breakfast into ristorante.I order bacon and egga ant two pissis of toast.I getta only one piss of toast.I tella waitress,and point at toast:"I wanta

piss".She tella me:"Go to toilet".I say:"No I wanta piss on my plate".She then

say to me:"you`d bloody wella not piss on the plate,you sonna-wa-bitch".Second person who do not even know me calla me sonna-wa-bitch.

 Later I go for dinner in your ristorante.Spoon and knife is laid out,but no fook.I tella waitress:"I wanta fook"and she tella me:"Sure,every one wanta fook".I tella her:"No,no you dont understanda me,I wanta fook on the table".She tella me"so you sonna-wa-bitch wanta fook on the table?Get your ass out of here.

 So I go to receptione and ask for a-billa.I no wanta stay in this hotel no more.When I have paid the a-billa the portier say to me:"Thank you,and peace on you".

 I say,"piss on you too,you sonna-wa-bitch,I go back to Italy".

I never more gonna stay your hotella no more,you sonna-wa-bitch.

  Sincerely

Enrico Morelli