The Day the Music Came Alive
A personal Testimony
There was a time in my life when I was lost, alone, and scared. I was contemplating suicide among many other things. It didn't matter what happened to me...as long as I had somewhere to belong. I hated myself for who I was--which, to the naked eye looked fine from the outside--and what I was becoming. Let me tell you a little bit about what exactly those people were like.
I grew up as in a non-Christian home, but it was very full of love, and my parents did a great job regardless of the lack of a foundation. They managed to keep their early mariage together--both were only about twenty. When I was about 15 I started toward the downward spiral to eternal damnation and self destruction. I was the perfect daughter and student, which should have tipped everyone off in the first place. None the less, it seemed to everyone that I was happy. Yet, inside I was searching for things to fill the growing void that was tearing me apart.
At 16, I met a guy named Brian. He and I dated for quite some time, and he filled my gap for a while. He was a Christian, and the first male to witness to me. Alas, he wasn't enough after a while. I broke up with him because I was bored with him. I wanted something to fill it completely.
At 17, I hit rock bottom. On my seventeenth birthday I lost my virginity because if I was afraid I would lose my current boyfriend. I was mortified, but I hid it well. One night, he decided he was mad at me. I still haven't figured out what he was so upset about. That night, he beat me until I could barely move. I called a friend of mine to come and pick me up. She took me to her house and cleaned me up a bit. When her parents came home I crawled out the window so they wouldn't see the state I was in. I was badly bruised and my father would not have been to happy.
As I stood there, I contemplated jumping for so many reason that I couldn't sort through them. I felt the wind pushing against me. I couldn't jump because I couldn't get up the strength to fight the wind enough to get over the edge. Besides, why bother to try? I would probably only mess that up to and then have to live my life crippled, and I wouldn't be able to be in the band anymore. My saxophone had become my best friend. How could I betray the one thing in my life that didn't tear my life apart, but added order to a world so full of confusion? I crawled back in the window, disappointed at myself for being alive. Why couldn't I just die!
I walked around basically hopeless for quite some time. I didn't care about anything or anyone. I tried to find things to fill my time, anything to take my mind off my life for a while! I began drinking heavily....my life was a mess. That's when I met Adam.
Adam was the guy who sat accross from me in Chemistry. He noticed things about me that not even my mother could pick up. Her being under spiritual warfare herself, there was no way she could have seen what I was going through. He didn't care where I had been or what my reputation was like. He knew I needed something that he had and was more than willing to give it to me. Needless to say, he began witnessing to me. He introduced me to Christian music. Of course, at the time I had no idea that was what I was listening to. I never asked, and he never told, but every word of every one of those songs was speaking to my heart.
I began to cry a lot. I was miserable! The only things I had to hold onto were a hunk of metal I called my friend and a tape some really nice guy gave me. Eventually, that really nice guy and I began to date, while I began to change. I felt happy. I actually belonged somewhere. Someone cared about what happened to me. Adam invited me to go to a
Young Life
meeting with him. Hey, he invited me, I went! After all, I was with
Adam.
I heard the Gospel many times during the two months I was going to those meetings. I even went a couple times without him. I was even starting to agree with some of the stuff they were saying. I stopped drinking, and started hanging out with the other members.
That summer I hung out with then almost every day. I laughed with them and got on the inside of thier inside jokes. Finally, I had real friends. Beth, Adam's siter, invited me to come to a youth conference at the University of Steubenville...my hometown. It was there that the Lord showed Himself to me. I was only seventeen, yet I was already seventeen and had missed out on so much. None of that mattered. I called out to Him, and He answered me. I felt Him say in my heart, "Welcome Home."
The rest, as they say, is His-story....
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