Our Philosophy about the Lifestyle

We came into the Lifestyle with little to no information on how things were to be done.  We knew we wanted to see what it was like, but wasn't sure what to expect once we arrived.  Let me tell you OUR story.........from the beginning.

For quite a few of our 17 years together, we had wondered what it would be like to share ourselves, and each other, with other couples that were as interested as us.  Not knowing exactly where to go, we purchased a few Swingers Magazines and started purusing the ads offered there.  Out of the many ads presented, we did find a few that were intriguing enough for us to answer.  So, letters were written and posted to the proper places........and we waited. Turns out, we waited, and waited, and waited.......with NO response at all!  Being a little dejected we decided, since we had no other sources to filter thru, that maybe it was a sign we had no business in the Lifestyle after all!

We sort of put the thought to the back of our minds and kept on with our happy little lives as they were.  Occasionally, the little niggle of wonderment would stir our thoughts and we would start to talk about the possibility of trying again.  But due to our past disappointments, neither of us was really THAT willing to write and wait.

In the fall of 1996, we purchased our computer.  It was a great addition to our home, and the kids loved it!  I was intrigued by the wonderful sites that could be accessed online, and started into the Chat World immediatly!  David wasn't too impressed with sitting at the keyboard and typing all night.  He couldn't see the value of it.  He spent most of his time checking out sites that interested him.  You know....golf stuff, sports pages and of course nudie pics! :-)  After almost a year online, I arrived home from work to find David at the computer grinning and typing away!  I couldn't believe it!  I thought, "Finally! He's found a chat room he likes!"  Well, boy did he!  Turns out, he had happened upon the Swingers Chat room in Yahoo chat.  He was so excited!  I sat with him and we talked to just about everyone in the room!  It was really nice to find a place where like minded people could congregate, offer advice and help others into the world of Swinging!

Starting then, we spent many hours trying to find people close to us that we could meet.  Someone in the room informed us of an ad page that usually had lots of different areas in Alabama covered. We went there, looked at the ads, placed one ourselves.......and VOILA!  An e-mail arrived from a couple that lived about 25 miles from us!  A new phase of the Lifestyle started with the meeting of this couple.  They were very nice, easy on the eyes and exceptionally open.  They made us feel comfortable with them immediately!

During all this time, we had made plans to meet another couple at a social in Bessemer.  Looking forward to adding to our circle of friends, we arrived early and waited.  They came in a bit later than us, and even though we had never seen them, we knew who they were instantly!  Turned out they were just as friendly and fun in person as they had been when we talked to them online.  They are still close friends to us.

So far, we had had two great experiences and didn't even consider that there could be anything bad ever come from our new adventures.  Well, reality slapped us in the face about a month later.  I won't go into the details of this, but there were aspects of the evening that made David and myself very uncomfortable. After lots of talking and question asking, we decided we needed a certain criteria to be followed for every new couple.  Now these are different for every couple, so there isn't a "right" set and a "wrong" set of rules.  You have to find them for yourselves.

Since we have implemented these "rules", our experiences have been much more fun and there are less times we have cross words with each other.  It does take time for each individual to become comfortable with the Lifestyle.  Once the comfort level is achieved, it's all good!

Our approach to the Lifestyle!

We always chat with people we met online for quite a while before meeting with them.  This kind of weeds out those that are looking for a "quickie" and just want to add notches to their bedposts.

We NEVER agree to meet people without seeing a picture first!  This is rather important, due to the dishonesty of some people.  There are those that will lead you down the garden path, making you think they are just "wonderful"........only to find out, they are really butt ugly or not exactly what you were expecting.  If there isn't even a little bit of attraction, it won't work.

When we do decide to meet a couple in person, it is for a non-commital dinner or drinks first.  Sometimes you can click with someone online and not be able to talk to them face to face. This way, you can see what the chemistry is like.  If it fizzles, then it's time to put an end to it.  If it ignites......then Party On!!!!! (but not that evening)  We only do dinner or drinks at the first meeting.  If it does go well, THEN we make arrangements to meet again for some adult type fun.

After deciding to meet a couple, we further our communication with them to make sure things go well.  It is important to ask some rather personal questions first.  Everyone needs to know what the others rules are.  There are some couples that have limitations on what they are comfortable with, and those things need to be respected!  Always remember, NO MEANS NO!  Trust, honesty and discretion are expected and deserved.

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