I recently lost the one I love, my boyfriend Erik. We met a few years ago in a bar. When he first came over to me and started talking he didn't really seem like anything special, you know kind of normal, but as we kept on talking that night he got more and more special. Later that evening he asked me out to a movie that following Friday and we've been going out ever since.

We never really had any big fights or anything until one night. It all started a few days earlier when my friend Chrissy told me she saw Erik with another girl. I shouldn't have believed her. I knew that she wanted him for herself. I brought it up that evening to see if it was true or not. He kept saying it wasn't but for some reason I just couldn't believe him. I guess maybe I didn't want to loose him or something. If only I had trusted him we could still be together. We ended up having a big fight about that and other things. Nothing we couldn't of worked out though. After our fight I stormed out of his house and went for a drive hoping it would clear my mind. In a way I guess it kinda did.

A couple hours later I realised he probably wasn't lying so I went back to his house to apologize. When I knocked on his door he didn't answer. I didn't think he had left since his car was still there and there was lights on so I used my key to get inside. When I got inside I started calling his name hoping he would answer me. When he didn't I started getting worried. It was too cold for him to be out walking so he had to be around somewhere.

I franticly started running everywhere trying to find him, but when I did find him I almost wished I hadn't. He was lying on the bathroom floor, knife in his hand and blood everywhere. I ran over to him hoping he was still alive and he was, barely though. I called 911 but later at the hospital he still died. The doctors said he had lost to much blood and there was nothing they could do to save him.

I'll never forget what he said when he died though. I was sitting next to him holding his hand and right before he died he said "With you mad at me I had no reason to live anymore but now that you are back I wish I hadn't done this. Sometime we will be together forever though. I love you Rebecca." I've been trying to deal with his death but its getting harder and harder. I just can't deal with it. It seems like no one in the world cares about me anymore so I'm ending my life to be with Erik forever.

So if there is anyone out there who does still care about me here is my reason for ending it all. I just can't go through life feeling like this anymore so soon I will be with Erik.