More and more and more every month.  New ones darken my door, old ones come back to visit.  It's just a cavalcade of suck.

The Rogues Gallery  What would I do with out my rogues?  Probably smile more, but such is life.

    Before I start, an update.  Mary Thorazine has returned from whatever place she had skulked off to.  She blessed me in the native tongue she speaks, (schizophrenese I think.)  She said that she would come back.  I'm blessed.

The Guardian Stalker:  Once more, let me say that some security companies will hire anyone.  He was the first person that I put on a microwave restriction.  He was stalking one of my co-workers, and a few other people that I heard about.  He once asked me "You don't like me, do you?"  I told him, "Not really."  He was rarely on his post, and eventually got fired.  I laughed when I heard the news.

The Guardian Shoplifter:  I guess that the security company just doesn't pay enough.  So to augment his meager income, he comes down to my store and pockets all of the free things that he can carry.  I haven't actually seen him shoplift anything, but I'm quite sure that he has.  Because of this, he is on restriction.  No microwave privileges, no napkins, no straws, he can only get stuff that he can buy.  Some of my co-workers have yelled at him, so now he's afraid to come into the store when certain people are there.  I'm going to have to make him just as afraid of me.  Everyone needs goals.

Cup O' Charcoal:  On the cavalcade of security guards, here's the brightest of the bunch.  See the True Tales of Stupidity this month to see the adventure where she got her name.  It is amazing how terrifyingly unintelligent some people can be.

Frumpy- the Vampire Slayer:  What happens when the 200 year old soul of a vampire slayer inhabits a bulbous suspected pedophile?  Fun happens!  When he's not molesting kittens, he's collecting Teletubbie toy because he loves them; for all the wrong reasons.  He once told someone that I know that he was going to be in a about vampire slaying movie with Val Kilmer, Michael Keaton, and Jack Nichelson.  The movie is to be filmed in Budapest, and will be directed by George Ramero (Night of the Living Dead).  He is also worth about $13 million, and started college when he was 15, and is a doctor!  He also has a pair of spontaneously regenerating kidneys.  He used to hang around my store and bother one of co-workers, but for some reason that absolutely no one can fathom, he called me a "homo" in front of one of my loyal minions.  When I was told, I chucked the slayer out of the store on his ass, and told him to never, ever, under any circumstances would he ever be allowed back.