Don't Let the Homeless Live with You (Part Two):

    Long time readers of the Septi-Verse will remember Bloaty and his Magical Distended Liver.  Sometime last year, a police officer told us about the escapades of one of the brightest students that my Alma Matter has to offer.

    It was during the winter that one of the students felt a bit of compassion for Bloaty, who had to stand out in the cold- only a forty to keep him warm.  The student, who obviously was new here, offered to let Bloaty spend the night at his place.  Let this action heretofore be referred to as "Big Mistake".

    So the student went to sleep, sound in the knowledge that he was a wonderful person who has the capacity to care more than to think.  It was some hours later when our continuous student awoke to a start.  It seems that Bloaty was repaying his host's kindness trying to mount and hump him.

    As you might imagine, having a smelly, filthy, overwiehgt vagrant trying to have sex with you isn't a good way to wake up, especially when said vagrant has a few venereal diseases.  So our intrepid moron got from in under Blaoty, and called the police.   I'm not sure if they were able to arrest Bloaty or not, but they drug his disease ridden carcass from the apartment.

    What life lesson should we take away from this story?  Just because you think you are helping people, you might do more harm than good.  Not just to yourself, as this case illustrates, but to whomever you are "helping", and to society in general.  If you, and eveyone else, gives a vagrant a money just so you won't have to be bothered, what kind of habit are you reinforcing?  Just tossing coins at someone is not going to motivate him or her to go to a shelter and try to make their own lives better.  There are some vagrants who have been on the streets for decades, why?  There's good money in other people's compassion/apathy/stupidity.  Also there is a reason that I say "vagrant" instead of "homeless", it is because many panhandlers aren't homeless.  Standing out on the street at the right place can easily be more lucrative than getting a job.  So when a vagrant asks you for change next time, what do you say?  "No" is the correct answer.  And the next time you see a vagrant out on the street, and the amazingly stupid urge comes over you to say, "Hey, come stay at my place" what should you do? "Get counseling" is the correct answer.