What?  You don't think that Christmas carols are very apt for our modern times?  You don't celebrate Christmas?  Well that's not a problem with the new and improved carols.  So let's sing!

Moshin' Through a Winter Wonderland.
(to the tune of "Walking Through a Winter Wonderland")

People scream,
    can you hear 'em.
See a priest,
    Let's go smear 'em.

We're runnin' around,
    and beating folks down.
Moshin' through a winter wonder land.

Gone away,
    are the street drunks.
Here to stay,
    are the filth punks.
It was such fun,
    to beat up that nun.
Moshin' through a winter wonder land.

On a sidewalk I can see a yuppie,
    His pennyloafers are shiny and brown.
Let's go up and beat him like a puppy,
    and stomp him until he's on the ground.

Later on,
    we'll conspire.
to set an or-
    phanage on fire.

We'll frolic all day,
    'till cops drag us away.
Moshin' through a winter wonder land.
 

I'll Be Goth for Christmas
(to the tune of "I'll Be Home for Christmas")

I'll be Goth for Christmas,
    I'm in agony.
Santa's back,
    He's dressed in black.
Put small bats on the tree.

I'll wear black mascara,
    on the party scene.
I'll be Goth for Christmas,
    it should be Halloween.

Sado Clause is Goin' to Town.
(To the tune of "Santa Clause is Coming to Town")

You better not scream,
    you better not cry,
better not wince,
    I'm tellin' you why.
Sado Clause is Goin' to Town.

He's takin' a whip,
    and crackin' it twice.
Gonna get beat,
    even if you've been nice.
Sado Clause is Goin' to Town.

He'll pull out a big ball gag,
    and turn off all the lamps.
He's painted up some red and white,
    candycane striped nipple clamps.

Do you want a bit gag,
    or latex that's clear?
If you're a good slave,
    you'll get 'em this year.
Sado Clause is Goin' to Town.