What follows may very well be the world's longest sonnet, written in early 1997 by me and Jessie. It is one of a kind--a sonnet written in email, one line at a time, seperately, with minimal discussion. It took quite a bit of time (even for a 84 line poem), and the next sonnet we would write would be completed together (and much more quickly).
Jessie and Diane's Sonnet
The only one I'd ever loved had gone,
And when love left I did not see it go.
I never thought that love could be a con--
Was there at least one thing that I should know?
I walked out to my car to take a trip.
When there, I found a brand new way to cope.
I found that if I didn't give a rip,
I just might find a plethora of hope.
I booked a super saver's flight to Rome.
The turbulence, it made me want to jump.
I almost thought that I would just go home,
And then I felt a kindly gestured bump.
I turn--a cane! And dear old lady sweet.
I don't believe it! Here, my grandma old,
And in her arms, a babe with three big feet!
I say, dear grandma what big feet you hold.
"This," she says, "is mean old Mister Grump."
This "Mr. Grump" does not appear alive,
But towards the door he gives a little jump.
I notice now it's not three feet--it's five.
He grabs my arm! And out the door I fly!
It strikes me now! A hard and rough terrain.
That Grump comes too. I turn and ask him "Why?"
With rage and tears he tells me of Elaine.
"That whore!" he cries, "She did the worstest stuff!
'geneticist extraordinaire' she claimed!
Through all her lies my love stayed strong--t'was tough.
Although my legs became severly maimed."
I hold his hand to comfort all his strife.
The bastard really thought I had a care.
But does he know? His old love is my wife!
'Cuz in this world bisexuals can fare!
So Grump's demise I do begin to plot.
But first must slow him down (his speed five-fold).
I find some acid known to cause leg-rot.
When I apply the acid he's out cold.
His corpse--grotesque! I drag it to a ditch.
I dig a shallow grave for him to rest
I empty out his pockets--now I'm rich!
With all this money I will be best dressed.
So off to Guam I merrily do trot.
I now can grieve in peace for my love lost.
But first I'll search for what I've always sought.
Forever more--I don't care what the cost.
But wait! It's gone! The magical gold flute--
The one thing that will harmonize the world!
Where is that thing?!!? This isn't very cute!
The bastard rat will find his [beep-beep] curled.
So with my gun and knife I hurry off,
But I don't know just where to look for him.
I turn around--I think I hear a cough.
He scurries off. I jump and tackle him.
My God--it is my lost love turned to crime!?
"Elaine!" I cry. "Explain this twist of fate!"
The new man that she is cries, "Damn the time!"
My eyes are glazed--this man just looks so great.
But what of Grump; and where's my golden flute?
And why Elaine, and Grandma, where is she?
Resounding in the distance is a flute.
And slowly then the truth descends on me.
Their master plan: to dominate the Earth!
But first the flute they somehow had to steal.
Without it Earth would have no human worth.
And so Elaine and grandma made a deal.
To steal my flute Elaine would win my heart.
She then would leave me drowning in despair.
A rendezvous--with grandma--she did dart.
Apparently for Grump they had no care.
With cloning they mask actuality
An extra leg for Grump made quite the man.
Divert attention with the freak--the key.
Our meeting on the plane was not unplanned.
Seduced by that Elaine--a dreadful wrong
That led to his eventual demise.
He thought they treasured him, but not for long.
They sacrificed his life through all their lies.
Elaine attempts escape from me but falls,
And then begins to tumble towards a pit.
I don't know what to do--no time to stall,
So to her aid I gallantly do flit.
Her eyes then light as if she knows a joke,
"It's Candid Camera!" loudly she does scream.
And next, without a single little poke,
I jolt awake and see it's all a dream.