Symptoms your cow has Mad Cow Disease
Your cow insists on wearing a
little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne.
She refuses to let you milk her,
saying "Not on the
first date.
Your cow takes up painting and
cuts off one of its
ears.
Your cow gets a silicon implant
for her udder.
Your cow appears on Oprah,
claiming to be a horse
trapped in a cow's body.
Your cow demands to be branded
with the "Golden
Arches Logo".
Your cow insists that all Hindus
are sacred.
Your cow thought Frank Bruno
would beat Mike
Tyson.
You find your cow hiding secret
plans to burn down
half of Chicago.
Your cow quits the family dairy
business and applies
for a job at Burger King.
She starts giving you Milk of
Amnesia.
Your cow joins the Hell's Angels
because, hey, its
already got a cool leather jacket.
Your cow gets a job at the Beef
Marketing Board.
Your cow spends half the day
sitting in the Lotus
Position chanting "MOO" backwards.
Your cow keeps wanting to chew
other cow's cuds.
Your cow seems to actually enjoy
being
"Hog-tied".
Your cow asks you to brand it
again but only if
you'll wear something sexy this time.
Your cow purposely blinds itself
with a dart and
yells out "Bullseye"!
Your cow starts smoking the
cowlick.
Your cow becomes a Muslim and
asks to be called
"LaCream Abdul Milkbar".
Your cow insists Milk Duds are
the result of stupid
cows.
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