I am not EASY
- I am HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

I do not TEASE or FLIRT
- I engage in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

I am not DUMB
- I am on a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

I have not BEEN AROUND
- I am a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

I do not GET YOU EXCITED
- I cause TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.

I am not KINKY
- I am a CREATIVE CARETAKER

I do not have a KILLER BODY
- I am TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

I am not an AIR-HEAD
- I am REALITY IMPAIRED.

I do not get DRUNK or TIPSY
- I get CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

I am not HORNY
- I am SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

I do not have BREAST IMPLANTS
- I am MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

I do not NAG YOU
- I become VERBALLY REPETITIVE

I am not a SLUT
- I am SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

I do not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS
- I am PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

I am not a TWO-BIT WHORE
- I am a LOW COST PROVIDER.

BACK to the home page