In a fancy restaurant insist the waiter tells you the names of all the fish in the fish tank.
Ask for a bib
Ask for a seat for your 'imaginary friend'
Growl constantly and address everyone as 'Matey'
At a fast-food restaurant ask for the Soup-du-Jour
Invoke 'the customer is always right' rule
In a foreign restaurant ask to have all the foods on the menu translated one by one
Bring your own menu
Stare at a neighbor's food until they say something and then reply 'oh don't mind me, I'm just looking for my contact'
Insist that your chair is missing a leg.
Take all of the pepermint candies
Paint a picture of your meal in watercolors since 'it looks so pretty'
At a fast food restaurant comment on the freshness of the meat, we all know it but try to not think about it
See just how fast you can get the manager over to your table
Burp the National Anthem, call anyone who objects unpatriotic
Yell 'Oh no not now!' and make a dash to the bathroom
Make obvious attemps to trip the waiters, snicker constently
You can't make up your mind between smoking or non-smoking
Very properly, take out a hankerchief and spend the next 15 minutes blowing into it as hard as possible