Evidence this World is Full of Complete Idiots 1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport       hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills. >2. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the      face,  seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer      cans off each other's head. >3. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed     it's workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the     job.  According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory     industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered     minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room.  Thirteen others    fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling    off a chair while watching the film. >4. The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons,      setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits. >5. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the       time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the      bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain. >6. A convict broke out of jail in Washington DC, then a few days later he       accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery.  At lunch, he went       out for a sandwich.  She needed to see him, and thus had him paged.      Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour. >7. Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a      metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy      machine.  The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and      police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect     wasn't telling the truth.  Believing the "lie detector" was working, the     suspect confessed. >8. When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand      over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the       police.  They still refused, so the robber called the police and was      arrested. >9. A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a      steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped     aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop. >10. An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver for      being smart and funny, and making her point, when confronted with a      passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo ~     During the final days at Denver's old Stapleton airport, a crowded United     flight was canceled.  A single agent was rebooking a long line of     inconvenienced travelers.  Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way     to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE    to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."  The agent replied,    "I'm sorry sir.  I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these     folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."  The    passenger was unimpressed.   He asked loudly, so that the passengers    behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?" Without    hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address     microphone.  "May I have your attention please?"  she began, her voice    bellowing throughout the terminal.   "We have a passenger here at the gate   WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."  With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore "#@&$ you!".  Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too." The man retreated as the people in line continued laughing at him. >The terrible shame is that these people tend to be very prolific even though their gene pool has dried up. Main Page Back to Joke Page Picture and Info Page Poetry