Liz McCabe

Note: Liz has Friedreich's Ataxia, a disease very much like MS but without periods of remission.

Restless

In a room with no door,
Watching life through windows and screens,
The tears silently wash over her face.
The unheard sobs seem to echo forever in time,
As loud as the wind on a calm day.

Lives filled with joy and merriment,
Kids running back and forth through the blazing sun.
Feilds of flowers and winding paths with no end in sight,
Through trees and grass as green as emeralds.

She screams through the glass,
Not making a sound on the ears outside.
But trying to say what is wanted.
Hands on glass, pounding,
Trying to escape her prison without bars.

Day turns to night and the stars shine overhead,
Bringing only false promises that one day everything will be fine.
The moon sinks into the horizon,
Turning the world silver-gray.
As day breaks once more she sleeps,
Only to awaken to another day of hell.

Alone

In this world of cunfusion and horror,
Who can you really depend on for comfort and safety.
We all look to the future and hope for something good.
But it's all a lie.

In my world terror reigns supreme,
And hope is just a foolish word I use for lack of something better.
I look around for my security blanket,
Only to find someone has ripped it to shreds.

So I walk alone.
But for me, walking is just a dream,
Torn away by the cold, uncaring hands of reality.
Forever out of my reach?

Betrayal

Joy and happiness at trusting again.
It almost seems to good to be true.
Feelings rush out like a waterfall,
Innermost thoughts and secrets revealed.

Love comes before you know it,
And takes you into a new dimension,
Where feelings are all there is.

Life seems full of caring and desire.
Then, SILENCE!

Betrayal sweeps into your soul,
Bringing the fear and mistrust in larger quantities than before.
Scared to trust, and scared to love,
Feeling small and unworthy of respect.
Alone once more.

Death

In the stillness and quiet of the dark room,
The silver ray of moonlight shifts throuh shadows.
It catches on an object and makes it shine like molten metal.
The knife glimmers,
Poised above the slender, white wrist.
The veins in the arms rise up to the sky,
As the single blade slices through the skin.
Blood seeps out of the wound,
Taking the pain and misery with it.
Ebbing away and becoming warm with a new vision.
Light shines through the eyes,
As life grows dim and faded.
One final sigh and all that remains is a cold, lifeless shell.

Dreams

Laying in bed,
Somewhere in between dream and reality.
Wrapped in the thick flannel sheets,
Warmth radiating throughout body and soul.

Images of arms wrapped tightly around you,
Enclosing you in the comfort of love.
A soft kiss placed on your cheek,
And a quiet whisper in your ear.

Passionate carresses and murmured sweet nothings,
As you move in the rythem of desire.
One longing look and "I love you",
Before your eyelids flutter open, ending the fantasy.

Why?

Why didn't they tell me life isn't fair?
Sometimes it's so hard to find a reason to stay.
Why didn't they warn me love hurts?
Sometimes the pain is more than I can take.
Why didn't they let me know the is no answer?
Sometimes I think I'm crazy to keep looking.
Why didn't they tell me?
Before I had to find out myself.
Why didn't they warn me?
Before I grew up.
Why didn't they let me know?
Before I wanted to run far, far away.
Why?

mcc@globalserve.net

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