Index . Texts of Anaildubh

My Farewell

I think that I should like to watch the black blood dripping from my veins
Not just because it would be the end
But
For once
I could say I was proved right
I am different!
I cannot survive your well-meaning insanity
Your attempt to be fair
Your success at only dehumanizing
For my blood runs black in my veins
The ink that stains this paper
Into thoughts and dreams
If only lost ones...
Here
Read my lifeblood on this page
And tell me there is a better way than this

Death
I think that death must be like
Red corduroy
Harsh, glaring
Rigid, rough and coarse
At first sight
At first (hesitant) touch
But if Death is embraced
How soft, I cry!
How comforting- and warm!
So very unlike the green gauzy silk of life
Which is beautiful
Gentle, soft and smooth
But so thin
So cold and insubstantial

And the austere dazzling brilliancy
Of the sun in the sky
That is life
A coldly delirious brightness
that holds no hope...
No! no, that's not for me
I do not know
I have never tasted truly
but I think that it is the glimmer of
starlight on water
That endless timeless space beyond the sky
and the tender drifting oblivion
far past the horizon
I do not wonder at Ophelia
and her choice of sleep
For Death is like a cradle
The arms of a mother
Welcoming her child back into her heart

You cannot tell me we are the same
- After all, we all bleed red, don't we? -
No
For the color of my blood is black
I am not like you
I cannot live on borrowed hope
When I know there is no more love
So let me go
Let me escape this pain
And hear the sound of my tears falling
My blood flowing
And the slowing beat of my heart
To the rhythm of my song
That strange haunting
Music
Of a
Broken
Love



Copyright 2003 Anaildubh

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