*******Bonehead goes balooning********
It was a bright sunny day with clear blue skies and Bonehead and Mrs Bonehead had been invited to go for a hot-air baloon ride with their friend Skinhead. Unfortunatley, when they wanted to take off, Mrs Bonehead was nowhere to be found so they decided to go without her.
Once they'd landed after a thrilling ride in the clouds, Bonehead searched for Mrs B. He found her, looked her in the eye, and immediately asked.... "Where were you while we were getting high?".
------THE END-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello and welcome again to the series of stories about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead. This is number 13 in a 20-part series.
*******Bonehead doesn't drink and drive********
It was a cold, wet night and Bonehead was out on a 'Lad's Night Out' with his friends. He was sat enjoying his glass of mineral water (he was driving) while watching his many friends get smashed out of their faces. One of the drunkards was Bonehead's loyal friend, Skinhead... "Hiii Boneyyyy!!! Hayy, hoow am I gonna geet howm?" asked Skinhead, not all with it.
Bonehead looked up from his packet of peanuts and instantly replied: "My friend said he'll take you home".
------THE END-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello and welcome again to the series of stories about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead. This is number 14 in a 20-part series.
*******Bonehead has a lie-in********
It was a bright, early morning and Bonehead had just been out on a 'Lads Night Out'. He was still fast asleep after late night. Foolishly, he hadn't set his alarm to wake him up at 7:00 for his usual early-morning jog - which he never missed, and Mrs Bonehead was becoming worried he might not get up for it. She decided to go and wake him up. "Boney, are you going to get up for your jog?" whispered Mrs B quietly into his ear.
Bonehead instantly opened his eyes, and although half-asleep, replied: "I need a little time to wake up".
------THE END-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello again and welcome to the series of stories about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead. This is number 15 in a 20-part series.
*******Bonehead's Birthday********
It had come around to that time of the year which is known as Bonehead's birthday, and a surprise party was planned for him.
Bonehead was reluctant to celebrate his birthday because he was older than the rest of the band and he didn't want to get any older, although he wasn't aware of the surprise party waiting for him.
He walked into the darkness of the lounge and flicked on the light switch. "SURPRISE" shouted all his friends, ready for the party. But Bonehead didn't react to the celebrations. "What's up Boney, you look sad?" asked Mrs B.
Bonehead looked up from his slice of cake and replied... "I'm older than I'd wish to be".
------THE END-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello and welcome again to the series of stories about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead. This is number 16 in a 20-part series.
*******Bonehead becomes a waiter********
It was a bright, sunny day and the birds were singing. Despite the good weather there was sadness. Fran, Bonehead's sister had unfortunately been taken down ill with a sniffly nose, and she was in no fit state to work. Bonehead volunteered to cover for her and be a waiter at Pizza Hut?. His first customer was an Old Woman who ordered a Cheese and Tomatoe pizza and a cup of tea.
He took over her pizza to her and placed it infront of her, along with the tea. The old woman looked at her food, looked at Bonehead and angrily asked: "Don't I get anything else with this?"
Bonehead instantly looked up from his colourful apron and replied.. "You got a Roll With It".
------THE END-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello and welcome again to the series of stories about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead. This is number 17 in a 20-part series.
*******Bonehead the animal lover********
It was a moonlit evening and Bonehead was taking a walk around inner-city Manchester. During his walk he noticed something over by the side of the road, on the grass. He approached what seemed to be a small turtle, lying on its back in a hole, unable to walk.
Bonehead, being the loving person he is, picked up the turtle and took it home to look after it. When he returned home with the green amphibian in his hand Mrs Bonehead FREAKED! "Where the hell did you get that?" She shouted.
Bonehead looked up from the turtle he had named William and instantly replied: "I found it in a hole sitting upside-down".
------THE END-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello and welcome again to the series of stories about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead. This is number 18 in a 20-part series.
*******Bonehead gets lost!********
It was a warm, but dry eveining and Bonehead's car had broken down in an unknown area of Manchester, called Moss-Side. He had no option but to walk home, despite not knowing the way, with a small hand-map his only companion.
As he strolled along the lamp-lit street he was approached by a youth, who looked angry. "Oy, wot you doin' on my turf?" the youth aggressively aked.
Bonehead looked up from his hand-map and instantly answered: "I've been trying to find my way back home".
------THE END-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello and welcome again to the series of stories about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead. This is number 19 in a 20-part series.
*******Bonehead is captured********
It was a dank and dingey night and Bonehead was in a dungeon. He was being held captive by the Bluurnies, a religious cult who sacrificed people to keep themselves alive. They sacrificed people by burning them. The heart was then removed as a token of the sacrifice.
Bonehead was chained to a stone wall and couldn't move at all. The leader of the Bluurnies, Demon, approached Bonehead with a can of petrol and a lighter. He began to splash the petrol over Bonehead. "At last I have you" sneered Demon, "you will now die".
Bonehead looked up from the disgusting clothes Demon was wearing and answered: "You 'aint ever gonna burn my heart out". ------TO BE CONCLUDED?...-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello and welcome, sadly to the final story about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead. This is number 20 in a 20-part series, and as you may recall, our hero Bonehead was about to be sacrificed by the evil leader of the Bluurnies, Demon. We rejoin the story...
*******Bonehead is captured (part 2)********
It was still a dark and dingey night and Bonehead was about to be burnt alive by the evil Demon..
"Nothing can save you now fool" Cackled Demon "We will rule the world!" Bonehead showed no fear as the flame edged closer to his bare torso. Suddenly, out of the darkness appeared 4 men. Each holding some sort of weapon. One with a stick, one with a rather large plank of wood, another with a smaller plank of wood, the other one with a tambourine-shaped weapon. They shouted in unison: "HELLO, IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK!"
The boys then went on to destroy any trace of Demon and the Bluurnies by using their weapons to full effect, by producing music that the Bluurnies weren't used to. They couldn't take it and faded away into the darkness. "You ok Boney?" asked the one with the tambourine, in a husky voice.
Bonehead was speechless, he only had one answer... "You and I are gonna live forever."
------THE END??-----
Bonehead Stories
Hello and welcome to a special limited edition story about Mr Paul Arthurs, or as we all know him: Bonehead.
*******Bonehead chokes********
It was a sunny day and Lauren and Shellie were at school. They were walking down the hall slowly, and talking between themselves about how they were going to get home.
"Can I ride with you in your BMW?" asked Lauren to Shellie "I just wanna fly", said Shellie. They then spotted a man ahead of them who seemed to be choking. They rushed over to help him. "IT'S BONEHEAD!!!" they both shouted in excitement. "It looks like he's swallowed his mouth piano*." said Lauren. "Give me your auotgraph." asked Shellie to Bonehead.
Bonehead instantly looked up from the small mouth piano sticking out of his mouth and muffled "Maybe I just wanna breathe."
------THE END-----