Subject: The Human League @ Astoria Sat 16th January 1999 
Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 10:11:09 PDT 


well me and Andrew had been salivating over it for a week. We'd seen the 
posters at the King concert the week earlier and had talked and dreamt about 
it for the 7 days till now. 

The group were playing at the Astoria on a Saturday night. It is a major 
indie/metal venue every other day (Fear Factory, Helloween, Bruce Dickenson, 
Sebadoh, Front 242 and The King etc have played there recently) but on 
Saturday's it is G.A.Y. - a major gay nightclub who each night always have a 
special guest PA. In recent times they've had Boyzone, Sash, Sonia, 
Tamperer, Marc Almond and Gina G. 

This day I was tired as the past week I'd been trying to keep Anna-Maria 
busy and not too bored with her 10 day trip back to London. I finished work 
late at 8pm and got back home at 9pm. Tossed and turned over the decision to 
go even though Andrew offered to pay for me, at the end I relented and got a 
quick bite to eat and drink and we arrived in town at 10pm. On the tube 
there is a bunch of mid-thirties aged guys from New Zealand, I don't say 
anything but they look very familiar ? 
Were they some members of the Muttonbirds who have and are soon 
re-performing again ? 
One of them looked particularly familiar....someeone from a New Zealand 
from the 1980s, possibly punk, not a big band though...or maybe I'd seen him 
around Auckland. 

Anyway we barrelled up to the venue and it was closed, we went in though 
and the bouncer tersely says that is a gay club with Human League as a 
special guest for their clubs birthday. His terseness puts us off a 
bit...sniff sniff....we are sensitive souls you know.... 

We think harder about coming back later but we decide to stroll around 
town and play video games and drink.  As we walk down Charing Cross Road we 
pass a gay bar called the KUBAR - it's funny as there are a few gay bars 
right around the corner from most possibly the highest pedestrian and 
tourist count in London. Sprawled on the pavement is a baldheaded guy who is 
not moving at all, I can't even seen his chest rise, he looks dead but no 
one looks concerned, especially the police. There isn't any blood and there 
isn't anyone else looking hurt or involved. It reminded me of the time our 
family played badminton and our colleague died and then when Sirius started 
sniffing his dead head the police officer kicked him away with his foot. 
These pigs are bastards ! :-) 

Incidentally, I've found that a lot of people except tourists think the 
police here are crap. I dunno why. Whenever I see the police rushing upon a 
scene normal everyday people scowl their faces. 

To waste some time we head into SEGAWORLD and play for the first time "House 
Of The Dead II" ! The machine is is great condition and the gunsights line 
up perfectly for me. In this game you are a private eye and the city has 
been taken over by zombies so you run around shooting them and saving 
people. Also play "Jurassic Park" which is another great shoot-em-up game. 
This is a game where you have to shoot at dinosaurs attacking you. The 
graphics are great and if you get a gun with a good kick on it it is a lot 
of fun. 

We walk around Chinatown and join a crowd of five watching across the road 
a big black bald guy punching another big black bald guy. The 'attacker' has 
the upperhand as he has already laid some punches into the other guy and the 
guy is stumbling around trying to keep his balance with rich red blood 
dripping from his mouth and chin. They are fighting near a plateglass window 
and hope the guy puts his head up against it so that the attacker will put 
his fist through it, but no such luck. The guy just stumbles around while 
someone tries to separate them. 

At one point out of the bar next door a group of girls and the dj with his 
recordbox on his shoulder walk out and the guy is punched into them. The 
girl screams and the dj pulls a face keeping a firm hold of his 12"ers. 

Funny how the sound of a fist pounding flesh is quite dull - but not as 
sickening as car bonnet yielding into a human body. (Or even worse a little 
doggies body). 

The time is about 11:30pm now. 

We head back to the Astoria and join the queue getting in, still a bit 
hurt about our treatment before (how could they tell we were hetero etc etc 
etc) 

We head out to the dancefloor and there are several hundred people 
already, an obvious smattering of gays as well as lesbians and straight. The 
music.... 

...the music...is new/old dancey stuff... In fact it is very much like 
typical pub/club music.... 

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT ... 
things take on a different in a gay nightclub. Whereas in a normal club/pub 
you would normally see men dance slowly or awkwardly, the men here go crazy 
and squeal with delight over Kylie and Rick Astley. In fact the biggest 
shout goes to STEPS and to Kylie's "Step Back In Time" (which is an awesome 
song and album actually ;-) 

Typical fodder like "YMCA" has 100s of people on the dancefloor, the 
tables, the stage (!) doing the actions....and somehow it all seems quite 
appropriate......for once......... 

A nice set of eighties synthpop encompasses Culture Club (Karma 
Chameleon), Kraftwerk (The Model), Yazoo (Don't Go)........ 

As we're jumping around I look over my shoulder and see an uncomfortable 
looking Jason Donovan with two female friends and a male friend. He's 
dressed in a red shirt and jacket. This is just prior to his appearance as 
Frank'n'Further in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. 

As the minutes tick away the dancefloor progressively gets more jammed. 
next to us a japanese couple comes on and starts dancing, both dressed in 
black. One of them looks like a japanese version of robert Plant with same 
facial features and hair, and the other is a bit tubby and looks just like 
my ex-workmate Vicki's boyfriend James - no offence intended. 

Eventually round 12:30 they clear the dancing people on the stage which 
takes a few minutes then they announce the band and with dry ice they come 
out. Both the girls are dressed in polar ice white fur jackets and dark 
glasses, and Phil comes out in a evening suit with the white shirt cut short 
to reveal his torso. The crowd goes mental and they launch into it. 
Naturally they are singing to a backing track. 

Tracklisting : 

Sound Of The Crowd - They start off with not one of my favourite songs but I 
think with it's chorus it's supposed to rouse people. 

Mirror Man - which is one of my favourite by cheesy feelgood songs with the 
girl's giving great background vocals on the chorus. 

Love Action - a classic but still sounding dated but great nonetheless to 
hear the original artists singing one of the songs of the generation. 

Human - ...and singing the worst song of the generation. 

Electric Dreams - great song and everyone else agreed wholeheartedly as the 
whole place went nuts and actually sung along as loud as we all could to 
this song with it's uplifting lyrics and sentiments ! 

Tell Me When - it was obvious that they would do this being their most 
successful song of late. I don't like it too much but it was nice to hear 
the Human League on the radio. 

Don't You Want Me - another classic song nuff said ! 

They had a break now to celebrate the clubs fifth anniversary with a 
presentation to the club owner whilst large confetti balloons fell upon us. 

encore : Fascination 
YAY ! 

During the concert the girls walk around on stage and pose while Phil moves 
about and along the front of the stage shaking hands and generally posing as 
well ! 

The concert finished would 1:10pm, we continued dancing till 1:30am or maybe 
2am and went off to look for food. 

Burger King was on our mind, we had no money left, we had to scrape 
together some pennies for beers !  Andrew has hit ATM card but after tryig 
about 6 of them we realise something is up with the network as other people 
are looking disgruntled, at one ATM we see a white well-dressed gentleman 
get told by a well-dressed exotic black woman to withdraw out 400 pounds 
;-))) 

Luckily we manage to find an ATM that is not affected by the outage and we 
get out 10 pounds with which is eat !! 

I would like to say something happened here but we ended up getting some 
food which we gobbled down and wearily took the long bus ride back home as 
usual packed with other nightowls ! 

This club definitely being one of my most favourite, mucho relaxed !