Millions of emotions swirled through Tracy’s head as she made her way to TJ’s hospital room. How could she confront him after all this? Why did he want to see her after all she had done? After all, this was all her fault.
She opened the door slowly, then peeked in. TJ moved his head slightly and looked at her. She could tell that he was in pain and, as she closed the door walking in, she kept her eyes focused on her feet. She sat by his bed; silent.
She felt something on her shoulder and was surprised to see that it was TJ’s hand. "I know what you are thinking..." TJ says quietly.
Looking up with teary eyes Tracy says, "What am I thinking?"
"You’re thinking this is all of your fault.."
"Well, it is my fault."
"No really it’s not. Whatever Chico had against me had nothing to do with you. He only used you to get to me by making you think he could put you in the streets and ruin your life. You had no choice but to do what he said."
"I could have refused everything and lived in the streets."
"Yes, you could have, but you chose to support your family and do whatever it took to keep them safe. You should be proud of that."
"How can you say all this TJ? Have you forgotten this?!" She gently places her hand on his wound. "Did you forget that it was I who pulled the gun on Chico, and it was I who got you into all this mess?"
TJ sits up a little obviously showing a little strain, " Tracy....things are going to be awkward between us...but I don’t hate you. For some reason I can’t understand...I don’t hate you. I know you didn’t want to do anything you were doing and you only did it because you had no choice. I can see past that..."
"I think it would be best if we just said bye now and both walked off." It hurt Tracy to say these words. She really did love TJ but she knew that there would always be that doubt between them now and never the trust a relationship should have.
"Tracy no...I want you to stay."
In tears Tracy stood up. Leaning over, she gave TJ a soft kiss on the cheek. He felt so warm and still smelled so good. She would miss the touch of his hands, his kiss, his....no she had to go. "Good-bye TJ. Good luck in your future. It’s better this way."
TJ grabs her hand, "Tracy, I don’t hate you."
"Well learn to hate me TJ. It is all for the best; I am sure of it." Then she walks towards the door, pausing at the doorway. She heard TJ let out a sigh and a little moan of pain. Then she walked out. She started walking past all the family but Taryll spotted her leaving and walked up to her.
"Hey, where are you going?" Taryll says.
"I’m leaving. It will make things much easier on all of you." Tracy replies.
"Just like that? Everyone will learn to forgive you , you know. We all know why you did it."
"Please its hard enough. Let me go.." she walks off out the doors of the hospital.
Taryll walks back to the family and watches her walk out.
TJ sits in the hospital staring out the window. The pain he had in his chest was horrible. Not just because of the bullet wound but because of what just happened. Somehow he had believed that Tracy and him could have been something. That somehow they could get past this and start over. It was clear that Tracy didn’t feel the same way. How come she wouldn’t even try?
A nurse came in and started checking TJ over. She took his IV out and said, "Well, you can go home now. We just ask you keep the bandage on and change it every 8 hours to keep it clean to prevent infection. You might want to stay in bed for a few days to decrease the risk of it getting infected or hurt. If you have any complications call us."
Poppa T walked in with some extra clothes for TJ and he slowly put them on. He needed a little help though and felt quite helpless.
"Okay son , let’s get you out to the car." Poppa T says. He helps him out to the car and the rest of the family make their way to their cars and drive home as well.
All TJ could think about was Tracy...she still had that control over his emotions....
They arrived at the house and Taj helped TJ to his room while Taryll pulled the covers back for him. "Guys I’m not a baby let me do some things on my own." TJ says.
"Okay...if you need anything call us on our private lines." Taj says.
Taryll says, "Good night." Then they both walk out the door.
TJ slipped his shoes off and started to take off his shirt. "Ow!" he said under his breath. He decided to just keep the shirt on and sleep in his clothes. Pulling the covers up over him and flipped off the lamp.
Darkness....was that what Tracy was seeing right now? Something was blinding her from what they could have together. How could he make her see that they could work things out? Slowly he drifted off to sleep....
He woke up the next morning to someone’s hand on his forehead and the smell of French toast. He blinked his eyes open and was surprised to see who was sitting there.
"Well, you’re finally awake sleepy head." Said a familiar voice.
"Em..Emma?" TJ said sleepily.
"That’s me! The one and only kid sister."
Emma had known TJ since they were little kids. They had lived next door to each other and would always take turns going to each others house to play. As they got older they still did the same but the games got more competitive. Bomber man on Monday, Street Fighter on Tuesday...something to do all the time. They became really close to each other but more on a brother and sister level.
After a while he started to call her kid sister. She was younger than him and he was always looking out for her. She did the same for him in return. Just recently she had taken a family trip to Florida and had been gone for about a month.
"I thought you were gone with your family to Florida." He says sitting up.
Helping him a little Emma says, "I was and I had loads of fun, but I just got back in town yesterday. I left a message on your machine and Poppa T called me and told me all that happened. I came over as soon as I could. What you did was so brave...but that girl.."
"....is brave too." TJ finishes. Emma looks at him puzzled. "Listen Kid, she didn’t do all this on her own free will. She had some jerk pushing her around, pulling her strings like a puppet and sending her into a direction she had no way of getting out of. She did it for her family...that’s all."
Emma hands TJ a plate of breakfast and says. "You still like her don’t you?"
TJ had always felt that he could tell Emma anything. Anything he needed to get off his chest he could always look towards her for advice or comfort. This was once of those times he really needed that shoulder to rely on.
"Its strange Kid..but yes I do. Some how I don’t hate her for all the things she has done. It’s like...I know she didn’t mean to do it and she really does like me, but she told me at the hospital that it was best to stay apart. I don’t want to do that...I’m involved now and I feel like I need to be there for her. She has no one else right now." He takes a bite of his food.
"Do you know where she lives?" Emma says.
"Yes I do..why?"
"Send her a letter. Tell her everything you just told me. Tell her your feelings for her and how you think you can mend the broken pieces."
"I don’t want her to be mad at me."
"Well, how else are you going to let her know Teej? You can’t just lay around and wait for some little birdie to fly in her window and say, "Hey...you need to get with TJ." You have to do it yourself. Maybe she has to see that you care enough to take the time to write her and express yourself. If she doesn’t respond..then its not meant to be. You’ll never know unless you try."
TJ takes a couple more bites of his food and puts the plate down, "I guess you’re right. I’ll write her soon then."
"Aren’t you going to finish your breakfast?"
"No I’m not hungry."
"Do you think making yourself from not eating enough is going to make her come back as well? It won’t believe me...eat.." She gives the plate back to him. TJ resists...but Emma gives him a pouty baby face and TJ laughs.
"Can’t resist that cute face kid sister. " TJ grins and eats the rest of his breakfast. Emma hands him some paper and says, "Write her. I’ll be down stairs talking to your brothers. If you need me just call."
"Are you going to stay a while then?"
"Yes, how could I leave my brother like this? You need someone to help take care of you."
"I’m not a baby you know.."
"Yes, I know, but do you remember when I had my tonsils taking out..how you were by my side every minute? You wouldn’t even let me go to the bathroom without at least helping me there." She laughs.."..and how you made up little hand signals for us to use so I didn’t have to talk because it hurt so much. It’s my turn to take care of you now. "
TJ grins , "Okay , okay...if you insist."
Emma smiles shutting the door and walking downstairs.
She walked downstairs and saw Taj running after Rascal. He seemed to be having a hard time catching his dog and Emma was a bit surprised as Rascal ran between her legs and Taj bumped into her.
"Oh, excuse me!" Taj says embarrassed. "Emma?"
"Yep, it’s me Oldy!" Emma says.
"Oldy?! Hey now..*laugh*. How are you?" Taj replies.
"I’m great thanks. How have you been?"
"Oh pretty good I guess. Did you have fun in Florida?"
"I had a blast! It was hard being away from home for so long though. I really don’t see how you guys do it."
"Well, after awhile you get used to it." Seeing that he is still in front of her he says, "Oh I’m sorry come and sit down." He leads her to the couch and they both sit down. "So I guess you’ve talked to TJ?"
"Yes I have. I brought him breakfast hoping to cheer him up a little. He seems to be doing pretty good considering all that has happened.
"Yeah I guess he is."
"...and how are you about all this?"
"I’m fine. It didn’t really effect me so much..well not really."
"What do you mean not really? You’re brother just got shot..."
"Yeah , that part really effected me but I was talking about Tra-.."
"You know this girl Tracy isn’t starting to sound too good to me."
"No, it’s not like that. At first she did things that were totally out of line, but then she changed. I mean at first it seemed like she really loved TJ but then she came after me. Trying to seduce me and bring me into it all. Then just like that she totally regretted it all...It was like seeing two totally different people. I learned that she did all of those things for a reason though, so it is okay."
"How can you say that Taj? How can all of you say that? That’s all I hear...’She had a reason...so it’s okay.’ It’s like saying that if some guy high jacked a plane it would be okay because he had a reason."
"No, it’s not like that at all, Emma. You can’t tell me that if your family was in trouble and the only way you could keep them alive and safe was to do whatever some guy told you to; you wouldn’t do it. Can you?"
"Okay, okay. I see where you are going. Maybe I’m just being protective because TJ is like a brother to me. Never in my life did I ever dream up a situation like this. I never thought TJ would ever be brought into something so deadly..."
She’s cut off as Taryll walks in the door and throws mail at Taj. "Hey you got mail." He says. He glances at Emma and a smile spreads across his face, "Hey Em. How was Florida?"
"It was great thanks. Why so glum today?"
"Glum? Naaah...Tired? Yes."
"How come?"
"Couldn’t sleep too good last night. Had a lot of stuff running through my mind. Did you talk to TJ today?"
"Yes, I did actually. I know about everything now."
"I see...well I’m going to go play some tunes for a while. You’re welcome to come listen later on if you want."
"I think I might just do that Tal. Thanks a bunch."
Taryll flashes a smile and walks upstairs to his room.
Emma peeks over Taj’s shoulder and says, "What did you get?"
Taj looks up and says, "Huh?"
"Hah. I said what did you get?"
"Oh, just a letter from a fan."
"Oh...hmm...just a fan?"
"Yes, seriously, just a fan."
Emma stands up and says "So when are you guys going to become big boys and move out of here?"
"Well, actually we’ve looked around and we’ve found some apartments. Taryll and I are thinking about getting some close to each other. TJ will probably stay with Poppa T for a while."
"That sounds like a good idea."
Just then, Emma hears TJ calling her name and says, "Well, looks like someone needs me. I’ll see you later."
She runs upstairs and peeks her head through the door. "You rang?"
TJ flashes a smile and says, "Yes ma’am I did. How about taking this tray for me and reading this letter. I want to know what you think." TJ says.
Emma sits on the edge of the bed and takes the letter. After reading over it she says, "Hmm...looks good to me. You want me to mail it for you?"
"Would you?"
"Of course I would. I’ll mail it after I leave here."
"Are Taryll and Taj up right now?"
"Yeah, they are up."
A silence fills the room and the only thing that can be heard is Taryll’s guitar in the other room.
TJ breaks the silence, throwing the covers off of him and scooting up onto the pillows. "You wanna watch some TV with me?"
"Oh sure why not. There isn’t much on at this time of day though."
"I’m sure I can find something." Then he pushes play on the remote and suddenly two little wide eyed kids are shown on the screen. They are at a swimming pool running around and splashing each other.
"TJ! I didn’t know you still had this!"
"I was watching it the other day just thinking about things. It’s hard to believe we were that little huh?"
"We were that little?" she says acting as if she had no clue that time had changed so much.
TJ smiled and rested his arms behind his head.
"Does it hurt?" Emma says.
"Does what hurt?"
"Your wound..."
"Oh..just a little. Not as much as before."
"Were you scared?"
"Hey, why so many questions, Kid?"
Emma could feel her cheeks starting to get flushed as he said this. She didn’t mean to ask so many questions but she just felt so protective. She had always kinda had hope that TJ would learn to see how much she had grown. How much she had changed since they were little kids. She wasn’t a little girl anymore and he definitely was not a little boy. It was hard trying to be that friend for him when she was starting to become attracted to him.
"I’m sorry I didn’t mean to ask so many questions. I’m just curious that’s all. It’s been a month and I come back to all this."
TJ puts his hand on hers and says, "I’m going to be fine don’t you worry."
After a while, TJ starts to feel sleepy so she let’s him sleep and she walks to Taryll’s room. "Knock" "Knock"
"Come in." Taryll said looking up.
Emma walked in with a smile, "Hey it sounds good."
"Thanks. It’s something new I’ve been working on. Take a seat."
Emma sits on the bed next to Taryll and listens to him play. The words seemed to be about exactly what she was thinking..."Worlds apart it seems, So close but something is missing, she doesn’t know, I love her so, some how just can’t let her go, Just can’t make her see that its for her my heart beats.."
Taryll stops his playing and says. "So you like it?"
"Yes, I love it!" Emma says with as smile. "You are really great at this writing thing."
Taryll puts the guitar aside and says, "It comes straight from the heart, that’s all. I’m sure you got it somewhere inside you too."
"No, no way. I was never meant to be a writer."
"Oh, come on give it a try. I’ll start and you try and think of something to follow. Take your time."
Emma laughs, "Umm okay but don’t be surprised if it comes out sounding bad."
Taryll thinks then says, "Open your eyes and see the power of my love and devotion..."
"Oh, gosh Taryll. I can’t follow that."
"Yeah you can; just try."
"Umm..uhh..why open my eyes when I can hear the rhythm of your words, like poetry in motion."
"Hey! That was great, Emma"
"Think so?"
"You betcha, girl." There was a pause and then Emma says, "Well I better go I promised TJ I would mail a letter for him. Thanks for showing me that song it was really beautiful."
"It wasn’t a problem. Take care of yourself."
Emma walked out the door then peeked into TJ’s room. He was sound asleep and she couldn’t help but go in and cover him up. He looked so peaceful and cute. She gave him a kiss on the forehead then quietly slipped out the door. Telling Taj good-bye, she walked out to her car.
When she got in the car she opened the letter that TJ had written. There was something missing and if he really wanted to get Tracy back he would have to do a little more than this. Getting out a pencil, she added a few things to his letter in his handwriting. It couldn’t hurt anything just make it better. Then she dropped the mail off in the mailbox.
Tracy sat on the edge of her bed in her room with a million things going through her mind. Was it really such a good idea to have left TJ? At the time it seemed like the best thing to do but it was tearing her apart not having him close to her. Was he okay?
She could hear her parents downstairs getting ready for work and she was becoming scared knowing she would have to be home by herself. She knew that Chico was in jail and couldn’t get her but she still had the fear that he would come back or someone else might try and get her. It wasn’t impossible anymore..the impossible had already happened.
Tracy’s mom knocked on her door and she jumped sky high. "Um ..come in."
Her mom comes in and says, "Honey, we’re going to work now. I left a list of numbers for you to call on the table if you need anything. I also left a bit of spending money in case you wanted to go out or something. I don’t want you to be stuck up in this house all day okay?"
Tracy nodded and her mom walked out going to work. Silence. Suddenly she heard a noise from downstairs and her heart stopped. What was that? Slowly, she creeped down the stairs. The noise was coming from the kitchen.
Something jumped out at her! "Meow!"
She was so shocked that she fell to the floor. As she realized it was just her cat she pulled her knees up and started to cry with her back rested against the wall. She was so edgy and it was driving her crazy. She wanted to call TJ and have him come over but she knew she could not do that, but she HAD to know how he was doing. Slowly, she picked up the phone and dialed the family line.
"Hello?" Taj answered.
"Um..Hi.." Tracy said in a quiet voice, hoping that Taj would not recognize her.
"Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I was just wondering how TJ was doing. I mean I heard that he had been hurt...and I just wanted to see if he was okay."
"Wait..who is this?"
"I’m um..I’m just a fan that is all."
"Well, how did you get this number?"
"TJ gave me the number." She said in her own voice this time.
"Tracy...." Taj said in disbelief.
"Yes, it’s me. I shouldn’t be calling but I had to know if TJ was okay. I understand if you don’t want to tell me. I will hang up if you want..."
"No, no don’t hang up. He’s doing fine but he is sleeping right now. The doctors say he should be pretty much recovered after 3 days. "
Giving a sigh of relief Tracy says, "That is so good to know. Has he um...has he said anything about me?"
"Yeah...Tracy you know he cares about you. You shouldn’t be talking to me about this, though. You should be talking to TJ about it. Want me to tell him you called?"
"No." She said quickly. "Don’t tell him I called, please."
"Why not? I’m sure that he would be happy to hear from you.."
"Just please, Taj. It’s hard to explain."
"All right. I won’t tell him."
"Thank you..I have to go now. Take care." Then she hung up.
TJ pretty much slept the whole day away. He got up a few times to eat and go to the bathroom but that was about it. That night as he lay there in bed wide awake he thought about how he had met Tracy. Taj and Taryll had thrown him a party at a club and she had been a waitress there. She had sang to him..she had a wonderful voice. He was attracted to her right then. Before he even learned anything about her, he had loved her. So it had to be real right?
Then he remembered the lake and how they had swam around and then kissed under the bridge. It was something he would never forget. He wondered what she was thinking right now. Was she reliving all the memories in her head, too? Before he knew it he had fallen asleep.
The next morning, Tracy went out and checked the mail. Her stopped as she saw that there was a letter from TJ. She ran to the house and opened it up. She must have read the letter 10 times before it finally sunk in. The things he said were so sweet and she was so surprised that he cared so much. He had said he wanted her to come over and visit with him if she felt that it wouldn’t hurt her too much.
Quickly, she grabbed the keys and headed to his house. She hesitated at the door before knocking. She wasn’t sure who would answer. Taryll opened the door and put on a smile. "Hey Tracy, TJ is waiting for you upstairs. Come on in."
Tracy walked in nervously and then made her way to his room. She knocked softly.
"Come in." She heard him say.
As she walked in, she was startled to see a girl hovering over him. "Uh..did I come in at a bad time?" she said.
Emma turned around and said, "Oh not at all. Hi, I’m Emma." She said putting her hand out to Tracy.
Tracy put her hand out and said, "It’s nice to meet you. I’m Tracy.."
"Well, I’ll leave you two alone. Behave you two, heh" Emma walks out of the room closing the door. For a few minutes there was just silence. Neither of them knew what to say or do so they did nothing.
"I’m glad that you came.." TJ said trying to start a conversation.
Tracy walked over and sat on the bed, "I got your letter and you asked me to come over. The things you said..well it made me think about things. It’s just I don’t see how we can make this work after so much has changed.
TJ sits up and takes her hand, "Tracy, remember how we first met? You were singing and it was my birthday?"
"Yes , I remember very clearly.."
"Well, from the moment I saw you I was attracted to you. So I know that what I am feeling is real. I felt the same way once I started to get to know you and I STILL feel the same way I did at the beginning."
Tracy ran her thumb over his hand. He was so warm and he seemed to be shaking a little. Tracy continued to stroke his hand, "Maybe it’s just me who can’t cope with all this. I feel like I betrayed you and I shouldn’t have a part of you at all. We’ll never have trust in the relationship because you’ll always doubt me."
"How can you be so sure? That’s what you want to believe but I know we can build that trust like before. It will take time and work but we’ll beat the odds. Why won’t you at least try? We could start all over from scratch and get to know each other all over again."
Tracy looked up into his eyes. They had been fixed on her the whole time and had never pulled away. He was definitely serious about this all. "Okay, I am willing to start over. I never really wanted to leave but I thought it would be best."
TJ squeezed her hand a little and said, "My name is TJ. What is yours?"
Looking at him oddly, Tracy said.."What?"
"We’re starting over...I don’t know you, but I want to know more about you."
"My name is Tracy. It’s nice to meet you TJ. You must be making some lucky girl happy.."
Grinning TJ says, "I don’t know..you tell me. Are you happy?"
Tracy couldn’t help but giggle. He made this seem so much easier then she thought it would be. "Hmmm..yes I am happy. So tell me some things about you."
"Well, I hope you don’t mind but I happen to be an entertainer. I love to hang out with friends...and make new ones as well. What about you?"
"It doesn’t bother me at all because in a way I am an entertainer as well. I dance and sing at a local club around town. I love to meet new people.."
"Well, how about I take you out somewhere special tonight. Would I be moving to fast?"
"Well, that depends on where we might be going."
"I thought maybe the best place to start would be the kitchen...*laugh*"
Tracy started to giggle, "Oh, that sounds so romantic. You’re on, TJ."
TJ managed to make it down to the kitchen with no problem. He really didn’t see why he had to stay in his bed for so long. It really didn’t hurt so much anymore. He scooted out a chair for Tracy and gently scooted her to the table. Then he took a seat. He snapped his fingers twice and put on a very serious and sophisticated look.
Taj came around the corner and started laughing but quickly put on a very sophisticated look as well. Grabbing a dish towel from the counter he put it over his arm and came to the table. "How can I be of some service to you both?"
Tracy had to cover her mouth from laughing as TJ said, "Well, we would both like the macaroni and cheese, a slice of wheat bread with a very thin spread of butter, and a juice."
Taj pretends to write it all down. "May I recommend some ice cream for dessert?" he asks. He looks at Tracy.
Playing along Tracy says, "Why yes sir that would be appreciated. Thank you."
"That will be all." TJ says.
Taj laughs and goes to fix them both something to eat.
"Wow macaroni and cheese? Don’t you think you’re going out of your way for just the first date? Tracy says.
TJ laughs, "Seriously I’d rather go somewhere else but I can’t leave the house for a few days. I promise to take you someplace special after I am able to. Somewhere you don’t have to eat Taj’s cooking. Heh"
Taj says, "Hey I heard that!"
Tracy grins and takes his hand, "This is fine TJ. It’s quite romantic actually...well in a weird way but it is. So do you think this will really work?"
TJ says, "Yes, I do. We’ll just take things real slow and do a lot of talking."
"Sounds like a good idea."
Taj arrives with their food and says, "Tip?"
TJ says, "Sorry man I have no money."
"Come here." Tracy says. Taj leans down and Tracy gives him a kiss on the cheek. "There is your tip heh"
Taj laughs, "Oh thanks." Then he walks off and goes to watch TV.
TJ and Tracy sit and eat while talking a little about things. When they are finished they go back upstairs to TJ’s room. TJ sits up with his back rested against the headboard of the bed. "Come here." He says.
Tracy smiles and goes over to him. He motions for her to sit between his legs and she does with her back to him. As he wraps his arms around her he turns on the TV to a music station. Usher’s "Nice & Slow" was on and TJ brushed her hair from her ear, beginning to sing the song. "Let me take you to a place nice and quiet, there ain’t no one there to interrupt, don’t gotta rush, I just wanna take it nice and slow..""
A grin spread across her face as he sang. She closed her eyes and laid her head against his chest. TJ softly kissed her head and said, "I always loved holding you."
Tracy rubs his arms a little with her hands and says, "I loved to hold you too." She brings one of his hands up to her lips and kisses it softly. "You’re so sweet to me, TJ. I promise to show you the real me. I’m so unlike the person you knew before."
Leaning his head on her shoulder TJ says, "I know that Tracy. Just be yourself and I’ll always love you."
They sat there a long while before Tracy decided she better get home before her parents got home and worried. "Well, I guess I’ll see you later." Tracy says while standing by the front door with TJ.
"Tomorrow?" TJ says.
"If you want..."
"I do.."
"Then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow."
TJ reached out and gently took Tracy’s hand. "Do you kiss on the first date?"
Grinning Tracy says, "Well, not usually but for you I’ll bend the rules." TJ leans in and gives her a soft but long kiss. They both pull away not really wanting to. Tracy says, "I’ll see you tomorrow, TJ. Thanks for the good time."
Emma sits on the couch staring at the TV but not really paying attention. She is startled as Taryll plops on the couch next to making her whole body jump.
"Earth to Emma!" Taryll says.
Emma puts on a fake smile and says , "Hi Tal."
Taryll puts out his bottom lip to make a powty face and kinda nudges Emma with his shoulder, "Aww what’s wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong. I am fine..really I am."
"You look like a little kid who just got their candy taken away."
"Yeah in a way."
"You want to talk about what is on your mind?"
"No, I can’t. I mean..not with you."
Taryll looks at her kinda hurt, "Why not with me? You don’t trust me?"
"No, no. It’s not like that at all. It’s just that it is something I’d rather not discuss with you. It would make you feel awkward."
"Oh..I see. Well, what can I do to cheer you up?"
Smiling a little Emma says, "You could sing me a song."
A sudden grin spreads across Taryll’s face and he jumps up pulling Emma up too. "Come on!" he says running to the kitchen. He grabs a spoon and starts to sing, "I’m too sexy for my shirt..too sexy for my shirt..so sexy it hurts..."
Emma bursts out laughing and says, "Taryll you are so crazy!"
Taryll laughs, putting down the spoon, "Well, I got you to laugh didn’t I?"
Just then Tracy comes down the stairs and walks out the door. Taryll sees the way that Emma glances at her as she walks by. "Is she why you are so glum?"
"Taryll, please I said I didn’t want to talk about it. It will be fine so it doesn’t matter."
"Geez could you two make anymore noise?" TJ says coming down the stairs.
"Hey what are you doing up boy? You shouldn’t be out of bed." Emma says.
"Oh, I can’t just stay in that bed laying there like a vegetable. I have to get up and move around. Have to keep my form you know." TJ says starting to flex his muscles.
"So you are feeling better?"
"MUCH better."
"That’s good." She says this kinda sarcastically but TJ doesn’t notice.
"Where’s Taj?" Taryll says.
"I’m not sure. I think he is in his room." TJ says.
"Well, how about we all go out and do something. You won’t be able to be too active though. We don’t want to take any chances no matter how good you are feeling."
"Okay sounds like fun to me. Where are we going to go?"
"We could go get some ice cream. Give us a chance to just walk around. What do you think Em?"
"Sounds great to me. You know I love ice cream." Emma replies.
"I’ll go get Taj." Taryll says walking upstairs. "Wait for me!" he yells down.
They get Taj and all four of them make it to an ice cream stand. After they get their desired flavors TJ and Emma take a seat under a tree while Taryll and Taj try to kick a soccer ball around while holding their ice cream.
"So how are things between you and Tracy?" Emma asks trying to start a conversation.
"Well, I think she really liked the letter. Things seem to be going pretty smoothly so far. I think she is realizing just how much this is going to work."
Emma slumps against the tree licking her ice cream, "I see. That’s good."
TJ starts laughing and Emma looks at him oddly. "What’s so funny?"
"Hold still." TJ says as he leans forward and gently wipes some ice cream off her nose.
Emma thought she was going to melt. "Th..thanks." she says.
"Yo..your welcome." TJ says imitating her.
"Are you making fun of me?"
"No..never...me?"
"Yeah you! You aren’t as bad as you think you are elf ears!"
"Elf ears?! Oh you wanna dig deep huh? Well look who’s talking shorty." TJ laughs then says, "You know I’m just playin’ Kid Sister."
Emma leans her head on his shoulder, "Yeah I know." There is a pause and then she says, "TJ?"
TJ finishes his ice cream puts his arm around her, hugging her shoulder. "Yeah?"
"Do you remember when we were little and how we used to sit under that tree in my backyard?"
TJ grins, "Yes I remember."
"Do you remember something that we did under that tree?"
Becoming a bit shy TJ says, "Yes, it was our first kiss."
Giggling Emma says, "Well, actually we got married."
"Oooh yeah. I remember now. Your dog was the preacher but he kept running off, your doll was your mom who gave you away, and we used little ring pops for the wedding rings. It was quite something. Heh"
Emma could see that he was not catching her drift at all. "We’ve changed a lot since then. Both of us have gotten older in many ways. We’ve matured a lot."
Just then a soccer ball comes flying their way and TJ catches it. "Hey!" he yells. "Why don’t you watch out where you’re kicking that! I don’t feel like going to the hospital again guys!"
Taj yells, "Sorry man! Can we have the ball back?"
TJ tosses it to Taryll and they continue to kick it back and forth.
"What were you saying?" TJ says.
"Oh nothing."
They both sit there watching the other guys play until they decide it was time to go home. They drop Emma off at her house and she walks in and throws herself on the couch. She almost wanted to cry. TJ was not noticing any of the hints she was throwing him. Why not?! What did Tracy have that she didn’t? She knew him a lot longer and knew more about him than Tracy did.
Back at the Jackson house the guys sit down and play a little video games while TJ picks up the phone, dialing Tracy’s number.
"Hello?" Tracy says.
"Hey, I called because I was worried about you." TJ says.
"Aww worried about me? How come?"
"Well, it must have hurt when you fell."
"Fall? I never fell..TJ what on earth are you talking about?"
"You know..when you fell from heaven."
Tracy starts laughing, "TJ there is no need for pick up lines you’ve got my attention. That was very sweet though. Heh"
"Seriously, what are you doing right now?"
"I was just attempting to clean up the house a little. I didn’t have much else to do. My parents are gone off to work and I keep feeling like I’m being watched or something."
"Well you are..by me. You know I can’t keep my eyes off you." He giggles a little.
"Aren’t we just the flirt today?"
"Only to you baby, but don’t worry about anything. No one is watching you."
"I know I’ve just been really jittery since..well you know. I know no one can get me but I still get scared."
"Just imagine I am there with you. Helping you clean up."
"Oh come on. You know if you were here we would not be cleaning up. If anything we would be gettin’ our minds dirty..heh"
TJ laughs, "Now who did you say was flirting? Sounds like you got something else on your mind too."
"Maybe...so who was that girl in your room today?"
"Oh that was Emma. I’ve known her since I was a little kid, but we are only friends. She’s the one that got me to write that letter to you. She’s a great girl you should get to know her better."
"Hmm..maybe I will but are you sure she is just your friend?"
"Come on girl don’t start getting insecure. Why would I have tried so hard to get you back if I had something going on with her?"
"I don’t know I’m sorry."
"Don’t be its okay. So will you be here tomorrow? I was thinking maybe we could go out somewhere. I have a place planned that we could go."
"Sure of course I’ll come over. What time?"
"How about 11."
"Okay I’ll be there. Where are we going?"
"It’s a surprise."
"Uh oh I’m scared. Heh. I’ll see you then. Get some rest."
"You too. I’m not the only one who needs it. Take care. Love ya."
"Love you too."
Then they both hang up. Tracy was curious as to where they would be going tomorrow.
The next day Tracy got up early and took a shower. She felt kinda flirty today so she ended up wearing a skirt, spaghetti strapped shirt, and sandals. She laughed when she saw herself in the mirror. Then she headed off to TJ’s house.
TJ was at home looking in the mirror at his chest. It didn’t really hurt anymore and he was considering just taking the bandage off, but he decided to just keep it on for a little while longer. He checked the time and walked downstairs to sit on the couch. Taj and Lou were there sitting there too, going over some strategies for the next K-9 game.
"Hey T-Dawg!" Lou says.
"Hey man whatcha been up to?" TJ replies.
"Not much. Same as usual I guess. How you holdin’ up?"
"I’m fine. I think I can play at the game this Saturday."
Taj says, "Um, I don’t know."
"Oh come on. I’m going to play."
Taj just shakes his head and says, "Fine."
Then there is a knock at the door. "I’ll get it." TJ says walking to the door. He opens the door and a smile spreads across his face. "Hey boo." He says.
"Hi TJ." Tracy says.
"Come on in I want to introduce you to someone." He takes her hand and guides her to the couch. "This is my friend Lou. Lou this is my girl Tracy."
Lou puts his hand out to shake hers and says, "Nice to meet you."
Tracy shakes his hand and says, "It’s mutual."
"Well, we’re going to go now. If you guys need me or something you know how to beep me. See ya guys later." TJ says walking Tracy to his car. When they are in the car Tracy says, "So where are we going?"
"It’s a surprise!" TJ’s grinning.
"Ahh! Can I at least have a little hint?"
"Nope."
Tracy pretends to pout and says, "Fine then meany."
TJ laughs and starts driving to his destination. After a few minutes TJ says, "Close your eyes."
"Close my eyes? Why?"
"Just do it..."
Tracy covers her eyes. Suddenly, the car stops. "Can I look now?" she says.
"Not yet." TJ says. He walks out of the car and comes to passenger side of the car to help Tracy out. "Keep them shut." He says taking her hands and guiding her somewhere. He stops then gets behind, wrapping his arms around her. "Okay open them now."
Tracy opened her eyes and started to giggle a little. "Oh gosh. This really brings back memories." Tracy says. They were on top of the bridge at the lake they had went to on their first date.
"What are you remembering?" TJ says smiling.
"Well.....um..I remember swimming in this lake..."
"Uh huh..."
"Splashing each other.."
"Yep..what else?"
"....and kissing under this bridge."
2"> TJ grins and says, "I could never forget that." Slowly he turns her around and runs a finger down her cheek, "That night under the bridge..was that the real you?"
Tracy looks at her shoes and says, "Part of me. I really did want to kiss you and I really did feel something."
To Tracy’s surprise TJ takes hold of her waist and picks her up, sitting her on the edge of the bridge. He keeps hold of her waist so she doesn’t fall back and says, "If I kissed you now would you feel something?"
Tracy looked into his eyes nervously and said, "Maybe you should try and see..."
He pulled her a little closer to him and softly kissed her lips. Pausing a moment, he pulled back to make sure that Tracy wasn’t feeling uncomfortable with this, but she only grinned so he kissed her again. This time it lasted a bit longer. "Did you feel anything?"
Tracy wrapped her arms around his neck and said, "That was better than last time."
Smiling TJ says, "How about we go sit down by the edge of the lake."
"Okay" Tracy says.
He turns around so that Tracy can get on his back and he gives her a piggy back ride to the edge of the lake. They sit down so that TJ is sitting behind her wresting his arms on the ground behind him, while Tracy sits between his legs with her back to him.
Looking over the lake Tracy says, "TJ, I want to apologize for being so doubtful about us. I just couldn’t believe that you could still love me after all I had done to you. I feel closer to you now knowing that you went through all this and still have feelings for me."
TJ sits up and wraps his arms around her, kissing her neck, "You don’t need to apologize. Lets put it in the past and move on. Lets think about the present and how we are going to live it. I want to learn about Tracy, the real you."
Leaning her head back on TJ’s chest Tracy says, "What do you want to know?"
"Well, like..how many boyfriends have you had before me?"
"Not many; only two actually. Both of them were jerks and so I never really dated much after them. That’s kinda why I was so hesitant about coming back to you. I realized I could have turned into one of them."
"Do you think I am a jerk?"
"No. Far from a jerk. No guy has ever treated me like you do. You are very respective and sweet."
"Sweet huh? Well..." Suddenly he starts tickling her, "I can be pretty evil too!"
"Ahh! Stop! TJ!" Tracy yells laughing. He continues to tickle her until she is lying on the ground and he is hovering over her. "Why should I?"
"Cuz I ticklish!"
"All the more reason to tickle you!" He stops and just looks down at her.
"What?" she says.
"I just noticed how good you looked when you laughed."
"Oh, come on. Stop it TJ."
"Why? It’s true."
Tracy grins and suddenly pushes TJ onto his back, sitting on his legs. "It’s only fair that I get to tickle you too!" She starts tickling him and he starts to squirm around giggling. She finally stops and says, "Paybacks are bad huh?"
"Hmm...not really. I kinda liked that." He raises his eyebrows.
Tracy starts to laugh, "Boy, you are really out of it today." She bites her lip shyly then leans down and kisses him slowly. He puts his hands on her hips and pulls her up a little more. They kiss for a long while before stopping and getting back in the car.
TJ says, "Tomorrow the K-9’s have a game. I was wondering if you’d like to come and watch."
Tracy smiles, "I’d love to actually. I’ve never been to a soccer game in my life!"
"I think you’ll like it. I’ll play extra hard since you are there." He grins then turns on the car driving Tracy home. He stop in front of her house and lets her out. She starts to walk to her house but stops and comes back to the car. "TJ, I just wanted to tell you that I had a really good time today."
"Anytime. I had a good time as well."
She smiles then walks to her house plopping on the couch with a smile.
TJ got up the next morning feeling exceptionally happy. He knew that Tracy was going to be at the game today and he was going to show her his skills. He got all cleaned up and put on his soccer jersey, then walked downstairs to the kitchen. Taj and Taryll were already in there too fixing them some breakfast.
Taryll looks up and says, "So you really think you can play today?"
TJ pours him some corn flakes into a bowl and says, "Yes, my chest feels fine. I feel better than ever."
"Well, we’re not going to be responsible if something happens and you have to explain to the doctor that you didn’t listen to him." Taj says.
"Listen, I feel absolutely fine. Nothing is going to happen. Chill out you guys." TJ replies.
They all finish eating their breakfast then head to the game. TJ quickly calls Tracy on his cell phone and tells here well the game is going to be held. Then he hangs up and hops out of the car to the field.
There were a lot of people here today. A lot of girls were there. Not that he minded though...he loved Tracy but he loved looking at those girls too. He flashed a smile and waved, then saw a bunch of girls start screaming. It cracked him up how all he had to do was smile and the girls went crazy. He smiled one more time their way then started laughing.
Lou comes up to TJ and says, "So you read for the game? I think we are gonna kick major butt!"
TJ gives Lou a high five and says, "You know it man! K-9 is gonna stomp em’ today!"
Lou laughs and both him and TJ join the rest of the K-9 crew on the side of the field.
Tracy shows up not sure where to sit. She makes her way to the front and tries to catch eye contact with TJ. He doesn’t seem to be noticing and she can tell the girls behind her are getting aggravated with her being in the way. "Hey TJ!" Tracy yells.
TJ turns around and smiles as he sees Tracy standing there. He runs over and gives her a big hug. "Hey! You made it!"
Tracy saw the looks on some of the girls faces. They looked really mad or really sad. She started to feel a little bad about it. "
Yeah I made it. I wouldn’t miss it, but these girls don’t seem to like me being here all that much."
"Aww don’t worry about it. They’ll get used to you. Just stay positive and be yourself. They become attached to you just as much as I am...well maybe not AS much as I do."
"I hope so. So you think you guys are going to win this game?"
"For you..yes. Every score I make today is gonna be for you."
Tracy grins, "That’s sweet, but you don’t have to promise that. Just have fun out there. I’ll be watching you in that nice lookin’ jersey..heh"
TJ laughs and gives Tracy a soft kiss, "I’ll be watching you. Wish me luck."
Tracy kisses him back and says, "Good luck."
As TJ runs back out onto the field Tracy sits down. She watches the game as TJ scores a few points and Taj does some major damage as the goalie. Taryll was also do some great team work with Lou as they made it down the field and Taryll landed the winning goal! Just as the game ended it started to rain and TJ came running over to Tracy. "Did you drive here?" he says.
"Yeah I did." Tracy replies.
"How about we take your car to your place and hang out for awhile. I don’t think with this rain we can do much outside."
"Sure come on!"
Both of them run to Tracy’s car trying to dodge the rain. Tracy grinned as she saw the little droplets running off of TJ’s curls.
"What?" TJ says.
"Oh it’s nothing." She says driving to her house. They get there and run into the house quickly.
"Can I change my clothes here?" TJ says holding up his gym bag.
"Sure go ahead. The bathroom is upstairs and to your right."
TJ runs upstairs and changes quickly. While TJ does this Tracy changes into some dry clothes then stands by the window looking at the rain. All of a sudden she feels someone wrap their arms around her waist and she jumps.
"Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you." TJ says.
"It’s alright."
TJ kisses her neck softly and says, "Do you like the rain?"
"Yeah I love it. I like the smell of it."
"I remember when I was little how I’d always go outside and play in it. Always come in soaked and cold. It was a lot of fun though."
"Yeah I did that too. Let’s see if we can find something on TV."
They sit down on the couch side by side while Tracy rests her head on TJ’s shoulder. They watch a movie in silence for awhile not real sure what to say. TJ turns to Tracy and grins. She had been twisting the curls in his hair for quite sometime now without even noticing.
"Oh, I’m sorry." She says.
"Why? I liked that."
"I didn’t notice I was doing it."
"It’s alright." He strokes her cheek and looks into her eyes. All Tracy could notice right now though was his lips. She knew he was going to kiss her and she felt a sudden anticipation building up. He hesitated to make sure it was okay..then leaned forward and kissed her.
After the first kiss he kissed again...then the kiss got deeper and deeper. Tracy put her hand on his shoulder and pulled him closer. This made Tracy fall back onto the couch with TJ on top of her, supporting himself on his arms.
The kiss got more and more passionate as TJ ran his hands up his tummy then under her shirt. Tracy ran her fingers up his back and got kinda scared as she noticed this was getting serious. She pushed up on his chest to break away.
TJ looked down at her surprised, "Wha..D..did I do something wrong?"
"No..it’s just. I thought we were going to take things slow. I just don’t want to go too far too fast. It felt right..but are you sure we should do this?"
TJ curls a few strands of her hair in his fingers and says, "We’ll only do whatever feels right to you. If you feel we are going to fast then I will slow down. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable."
Tracy looks away not making contact with his eyes. "It may just be cuz..well I’m nervous that maybe we’ll...and well I’m a ..well.."
TJ smiles and tilts her head so that she is looking into his eyes. "You are a virgin?" Tracy just nods feeling really embarrassed. "Don’t be embarrassed about it. I don’t like you any more or any less than I did before. In fact I am very impressed. Don’t be ashamed of it."
"Well, I...I don’t want to be anymore."
"What are you saying?"
"I’m saying I want you to be my first TJ. I trust you with all my heart."
TJ suddenly gets really nervous and says, "Are you sure? I mean this is a big decision. If you do this you can’t ever change it.
It’s a big decision."
"Yes, I am very sure. TJ, I think I love you."
TJ sat up at the other end of the couch and said, "Tracy, don’t do this just because you think I want you to.."
Tracy sits up too and says, "I’m not TJ. I choose to do this on my own."
"I want it to be special for you then. Let’s plan this out. Where should we do this?"
"Here. My parents are going to be gone for a week and I have the house to myself. It will be perfect."
"Alright..I’ll be here tomorrow night. First we will go to a movie..then we’ll go to your place. Tracy, I love you."
Tracy grins and kisses him softly "I love you too"
"I should go now. I’ll see you tomorrow night. If you change your mind just tell me. I will understand."
"Alright. See you then."
TJ gives her one last kiss before he gets up and walks out the door.
When he got home it was about 5 in the afternoon and he walked in to see Emma on the couch watching TV.
"Hey Kid Sister!" he says.
Emma looks up with a smile and says, "Hi TJ. Where have you been?"
"At Tracy’s. Things are really starting to look up for us now."
Suddenly Emma’s eyes looked really sad and TJ sensed something was wrong. "What’s wrong?" he says sitting next to her.
"It’s nothing. I’m glad you and Tracy are happy."
"Awww Kid don’t tell me you are love sick. Tell you what...Tracy and I are going out tomorrow night. How about you double date with us? I’ll ask Taryll to come along. I think he has a thing for you, you know."
Emma smiles a little. Taryll was a really sweet guy and she liked him a lot but there was something about TJ. "Sure..that would be nice."
TJ gives her a hug and says, "I think I am gonna go get cleaned up and maybe watch some TV. I’ll see you later."
"Okay see you later big brother."
TJ walks up to his room and takes a shower then changes clothes. For a long while he just sat on the edge of his bed thinking. Was Tracy really telling the truth when she said she wanted him to be her first? He suddenly felt really nervous and shy about it all. He didn’t want to ever hurt her in any way..but if she had never done it before...he would have to. Did he want to have to go through that?
He knew he loved her and if he did this it would bring him so much closer to her. He could finally express just how much he loved her and give back all the pleasure she had given him. He couldn’t help but vision the two of them together at her house. Tomorrow was going to be one interesting day. Slowly he drifted off to sleep...
He woke up early that morning and fixed him some breakfast. Taryll was eating some cereal at the table and TJ joined him.
"Taryll, can I ask you something?" TJ says.
"Sure, shoot." Taryll says.
"What do you think of Emma? Like..what are your feelings for her?"
Suddenly Taryll started to get a little embarrassed, "What kind of question is that?"
"It’s an honest one I promise. You know Emma and I are just friends." TJ says.
"Well, I think she is a really sweet girl. There is no doubt that I like her and wouldn’t mind moving things up to another level. She doesn’t seem to notice though."
"There is a way you could get her to notice though. Tonight Tracy and I are going to the movies. I was thinking that you and Emma could double date with us. Emma seems to be really down and I’m hoping it will cheer her up, as well as bring you two closer."
"Okay, I’m game. What time are we going?"
"We have to pick them up so we’ll probably leave here about 6:00 so we can catch the 7:00 show."
"Sounds good." The boys finish their food then sit on the couch watching TV. Taj comes downstairs and sits down next to them.
"So how are things comin’ with Tracy?" he asks TJ.
"Very well actually." He pauses for a moment as if to be thinking about telling them something.
"What is it?" Taj says noticing his hesitation.
"Well..it’s just..last night things got kinda heated up between Tracy and I. The subject of sex was brought up and we talked about it for a while. Tracy wants me to be her first...but I’m not sure I want to do that to her. I mean what if she is only doing this because she thinks since I am not a virgin she has to give it up to me." TJ says worried.
Taj leans back in his chair and rubs his chin then crosses his arms. This always meant Taj was getting ready to give a lecture or some heavy advice. "Did you ask her why she wanted you to be her first?" he says.
TJ nods. "Yeah, she says it’s because she loves me. She says she isn’t doing it because she feels she has to."
"Then you should believe her. I think it is really you who is insecure here."
"Maybe I am..it’s just. This is such a huge step. I’ve never been so nervous before. I mean if she hasn’t done this before..it’s gonna hurt her..I don’t want to be the one to do that."
Taryll grins, "Teej, it’s all part of nature. Sometime in her life someone would have to be the one to do it. The pain only lasts a few minutes and I’m sure she is going to understand."
"Taryll is right," Taj says. "In a way you are giving a great gift to her. Okay, maybe that sounded corny but it is true. Doing this you are giving her the ability to have children...BUT...that doesn’t mean you have to have some of your own just yet. I think you catch my drift..."
TJ says, "Yeah, yeah I know. Protection is a priority..."
"Don’t be so insecure TJ." Taryll says. "You can only try and make this as comfortable for her as you can. If she sees that you are having doubts she is going to think it is because of her."
Taking a deep breath TJ says, "Thanks guys. I think I am gonna call Tracy right now." Then he walks up to his room and picks up the phone.
The phone rings and Tracy gets up from the table to pick it up. "Hello?" she says.
"Hey, Baby this is TJ." TJ says.
"Ooh hi Boo. Why are you calling so early?"
"Well, I got to thinking about our conversation last night and I just wanted to make sure you are up to it."
Blushing a little Tracy says, "Yes, I am..are you?"
"I would never back out unless you wanted me too. Taryll and Emma are going to join us at the movies tonight. They’ll probably go do their own thing after the movie, and we’ll do our mine."
Laughing Tracy says, "Sounds nice..my house?"
"Yes, your house. I’ll be there to pick up for the movie about 6:15. See you then baby."
"All right I can’t wait. Bye" then she hangs up.
TJ hung up and glanced at the clock. It was about noon so he had a lot of time to kill. He remembered he had to call Emma to and tell her about the movies. Picking up the phone he dialed her number.
Emma answered on the second ring, "This is Emma."
"Hey, Kid this is big brother." He says.
"Oh hi TJ. What’s up?"
"To be truthful..a lot. You see..I was wondering if you wanted to double date with Taryll tonight. Tracy and I will be there and I think you need to come have some fun."
"I don’t know..I’ll be in your guys’ way."
"No you won’t Em. I’m sure Taryll can keep you occupied. Heh"
"Okay, I guess I’ll go. What time are you going to be here to pick me up?"
"We’ll be there with Tracy at 6:30."
"All right see you then TJ."
"Okay, see ya. Bye" then they both hang up.
Time seemed to just creep by before it ended up being 6:00 with TJ and Taryll both ready to go. They walk out to the car and head to Tracy’s house. TJ saw the nervous look on Taryll’s face and says, "You alright bro?"
Taryll runs fingers through his hair and takes a deep breath, "Yeah, I’m fine." TJ shakes his head knowing that Taryll is way nervous. "Okay, I’m really nervous."
"Hey, don’t be. All you gotta do is watch the movie and start conversation every once and awhile."
"I know..." they arrive at Tracy’s house and TJ asks Taryll to stay in the car while he goes to the door and knocks. Tracy came to the door in a short, thin skirt, spaghetti strapped tank top, and sandles. "Wow." TJ said as he saw her.
Tracy blushes and says, "Wow yourself."
"You all ready?"
"As ready as I’m gonna be." Tracy peeks over his shoulder and sees Taryll. "How’s Taryll acting to this?"
"He’s really nervous. I think he likes Emma a whole lot."
"Yeah, I think so too. Come on let’s go."
They go back to the car and go pick up Emma. TJ looks at Taryll and says, "Go on bro."
Taking a deep breath Taryll walks up to her door slowly and knocks. She comes to the door and says, "Hey, Taryll." With a grin.
He returns the grin and says, "All set?"
"Yeah I am. Let’s go."
Taryll relaxes and takes her hand walking her to the car, opening the door for her as she gets in. Then they drive to the movies and find a place to sit. It was a movie filled with action, romance, and tears. A perfect date movie.
Halfway into the movie Tracy and TJ get kinda low in their seats and kiss each other a little. Emma peeks over and sees them. It was becoming really hard to control herself and not say anything. It made her so mad to see Tracy doing this when she loved TJ so much more.
Tracy layed her head on his shoulder and started to play with his curls..that was it. Emma stood up and startd to walk out of the movie making sure to bump Tracy’s leg hard on her way out. TJ really surprised looked at both Taryll and Tracy and said, "I’ll handle this." He walks out after her and meets up in the front of the movies. TJ grabs her hand and says, "What was that?!"
Emma looks at him with tears building in her eyes, "TJ I can not believe that you have overlooked this for so long! Are you that blind?!"
Looking puzzled TJ says, "Huh? See what? All I see is you blowing up in there over absolutely nothing."
"Absolutely nothing?! No it is SO much more then that! Nothing is not trying to show you how much I love you and how much I have changed through everything I do. Wearing nice clothes, being around you all the time, trying my best to show you how much I have grown, but you never catch the drift. Tracy is too important to you and you just overlook me."
"Wha...Kid..I dont understand."
"Don’t call me Kid! I’m not a kid anymore TJ! Can’t you see that? I love you.." Suddenly she leans forward and kisses him passionately. TJ is really surprised and instantly pushes her away gently. Emma gets upset crying and runs off.
He stood there in shock for a few minutes before everything settled in. He had never noticed that Emma had such a Jones for him. He was blind..she had tried, but he had always thought they were only friends. He could never love her like that, but it looked like she did. Suddenly Tracy and Taryll came up behind him and Taryll said, "The movies over. What happened?"
TJ didn’t have the heart to tell Taryll the truth about what happened. "She wasn’t feeling good so we got her a cab home."
‘Oh I see." Taryll says.
TJ takes Tracy’s hand and says, "Go ahead and take the car home bro. I’ll be home later probably. If not I’ll call home. "
Taryll gives TJ a brotherly shake then head off in the car. TJ looks at Tracy and smiles, "So..should we head to your house?"
Tracy blushes looking at her feet, "Yeah.."
Tilting her head up he says, "I love you.."
"I love you too, TJ."
They catch a cab and then go to her house. It was still dark and Tracy was way nervous and on top of that it was dark. She couldn’t see the lock in the door to unlock it plus her hands were shaking.
TJ offers to help and opens the door turning on the lights in the house. "I’m sorry about that." Tracy says.
"Don’t worry about it. Relax a little though. Here sit on the couch." She sits down and he sits down beside her stroking her face. He kisses her cheek and says, "Tracy...I’m gonna try and make this the best for you as possible..."
Tracy closes her eyes and slips off her sandles, "I don’t expect more than you can give TJ. I know the whole process..and I understand the first time isn’t always heaven, but I feel safe knowing it’s going to be you doing it."
TJ slips off his socks and shoes and looks into Tracy’s eyes. "Come on lets go upstairs.." He takes her hand gently and leads her up the stairs to her room. Shutting the door he puts his back to it and just stares back at her.
"What?" Tracy says blushing.
"You just look amazing."
Biting her lip Tracy walks towards him and wraps her arms around his neck. As she does this TJ runs his hands down both of her arms, down her shoulders, then stops resting them on her waist. "Nervous?"
Looking at her feet she says, "Just a little." He puts his hand under her chin and lifts her head up so he can see her eyes. "Relax..you can back out anytime. I’ll stop whenever you want me to." He leans forward and kisses her gently on her bottom lip. Pulling back to see if there is any doubts then gives her full kiss, pulling her closer to him.
Tracy could tell she was shaking but somehow TJ was relaxing her by the minute. Running her fingers down his chest she kissed him back, stopping her hands by his waist and putting her fingers in his belt loops. Moving his lips to her ear TJ whispers, "Relax...you’re doing great." Then gently nibbles her ear while running his hands up her back soothingly. He makes his hand back down her back, down her booty, under her thighs, and picks her up so that each of her legs are on either sides of him. He still kisses her while making his way to the bed and very carefully lays her on the bed. He rests his hands on the bed, each hand on either side of her.
Looking up, Tracy grins running a finger down TJ’s lips, down his chin, then down one of his arms. "I’m not the only one doing great.." she says. Giving his joker smile TJ starts to tickle Tracy to release some of the tension. Tracy starts to giggle and squirms trying to get away. He works his hand down her body and lifts her shirt up a little to show her tummy, then presses his lips to her tummy blowing and making a sound.
"Aaaah TJ that tickles!" Tracy says.
TJ grins and plants little kisses around her belly button to relax her more. Then gives one last kiss to her belly button sticking his tongue out a little. He could feel her body loosening up a little so he slowly made his way back up her body and gave her kiss. "Feeling better about this?"
"Much better.." Tracy says twisting one of TJ’s curls on one of her fingers. Then she runs her hands up his back lifting up his shirt and over his head. All TJ could do was grin as he saw the shirt go over the bed. She started to kiss his neck then went to his ears because she knew this was his soft spot. Just as she thought he instantly started running his hands up and down her legs and up her skirt. Blowing on his ear softly she whispered, "Did you like that?"
He kisses her shoulder then whispers, "Do I have to answer that in words or can I show you?"
Kinda giggling Tracy says, "Whatever you prefer."
He runs his hands up her tummy and gently pulls her shirt over her head, grinning to show his approval and to boost her confidence. She started to blush as he put one finger under each bra strap, pulling them down off her shoulders. Then he moved down a little kissing in between her breasts, down the middle of her tummy, and slipping off her skirt. He looks up at her to make sure she is okay before moving further down, but moving to the right to her thigh so he wouldn’t make her feel uncomfortable. He plants kisses all down her leg till he gets to her feet.
As he reaches her feet he sits up and pulls a condom out of his pocket, takes off his jeans, turns around a little and puts it on under his boxers. Turning back he crawls back up her body and kisses her lips. "Second thoughts?"
Tracy grins and says, "Never in a million years."
He puts one hand under her waist to arch her back so he can reach her bra snap and gently unsnaps it , taking off her bra. He raises his eye brows, licks his lips, then runs the bra down her body and off the bed. "You look beautiful, Tracy." He says.
He runs his hands all over her chest and kisses her in all the right places. Tracy runs her fingers up his back the whole time letting out little quiet sounds of excitement and anxiety. She starts to pull down his boxers and users her feet to get them off all the way. "Your a natural." TJ says. He then takes off her panties then looks her in the eyes. "Sure you are ready?"
Tracy nods getting a bit nervous but knowing that she is not going to have any regrets. He kisses her one last time before taking his time making love to her. He could feel Tracy’s hand putting pressure on his back the first couple of minutes. Trying his best he tried not to think about what she was feeling. Before long she was relaxed and running her fingers all over him and making sounds of pleasure.
This lasted a long while before both of them stopped and looked into each others eyes. Tracy let a tear fall from her eyes as she looked at TJ. "Baby, are you okay?" TJ says. "Did I.."
"No..you were great, TJ. It was just..so much more than I expected...I love you so much." Tracy says on the verge of crying with joy.
TJ wipes the tear from her eyes then kisses the place that he wiped it from. "Want me to stay with you over night?"
"I would love that."
TJ moves so that Tracy is laying her head on his chest and he pulls the covers up over them. He rubs Tracy’s back until she is fast asleep, then let’s out a big breath and kisses her head. He quickly falls asleep with a smile on his face.
The whole time TJ and Tracy were together, Taryll was up in his room worrying about Emma. Something had to have been wrong if she had just suddenly got up. He had a feeling that it wasn’t just because she didn’t feel well. He sat up off his bed and walked downstairs. Taj was up in his room so he just went outside and drove to Emma’s house. He sat in the car for a moment thinking over what he was going to do.
He stepped up and slowly walked up to her house. He could see a light on in the living room and hoped that he wasn’t waking anyone up, but it wasn’t that late from when Emma left the show. He knocked on the door a couple times and waited for an answer.
Emma’s mother came to the door and said, "Hey, Taryll. I haven’t seen you in such a long time. Come on in." He flashed a smile and walked in, looking around hoping to see Emma. "So what brings you here?" Emma’s mom says.
"Well, I was hoping I could talk to Emma. Is she around?" Taryll says.
"She is up in her room."
Taryll walked up to Emma’s room slowly and knocked softly on the door. He could here the song "The One I Gave my Heart to" by Aaliyah playing faintly in the background. She came to the door in tears, "Mom I told yo-.." Her mouth dropped and she stood there dazed a moment before saying, "Taryll? What are you doing here?"
Taryll looked at his feet, "Well, you left so soon from the movie. I wanted to make sure that you were okay." He looked up into her eyes. "Are you?"
Emma motioned for him to come in and she closed the door. They both took a seat on the bed and Emma says, "Taryll, you didn’t need to come here."
Taryll runs his fingers through his hair nervously, "Yes I did. There is more I need to talk to you about besides just if you were okay. You see...well..Emma I care for you deeply. I’ve been trying to show that to you for the past couple years. I’ve tried dropping hints and everything, but you didn’t seem to notice."
Emma felt as if she had just been hit with the heaviest brick in the world. The words sounded so familiar as they raced through her head. That was the same exact thing she had been doing to TJ and he hadn’t noticed either. Now she felt bad for yelling at TJ like that. "Taryll..I..uh..well I left because I have been trying to do the same things to TJ. I see I’ve just gotten a taste of my own medicine." As she looked up she saw the sadness that filled his hazel eyes. She had never really noticed his eyes so much. They were beautiful..and suddenly she felt her heart speed up and she licked her lips.
Taryll fidgeted with his hands a little and said, "It’s okay if you don’t want to be with me. I’ve moved on before I am sure I can do it now." Deep down inside, though, he was dying. He cared for her so much and, especially right now, it felt so hard to be talking to her like this.
Emma reached out and took his hand, "Taryll..." He looked up at her with hopeful eyes propping his leg up onto the bed. "..I..I care for you, too. I just never noticed..but now that we are here alone..I feel so different."
Taryll lifted a hand and brushed a finger across her cheek, "You don’t have to say this just because I love you. If you don’t love me back, there is no point."
She put a finger to his lips and said, "Let’s try and see how we work together. I promise I won’t run out this time."
Taryll wanted so bad to kiss her right now. All he could do was study her lips as she spoke. The words almost didn’t make any sense and he had to run them through his head many times before they did. "Tomorrow at the park? At noon?"
Emma grinned, "Sounds great. Should I just meet you there?"
With a smile, Taryll said, "Meet me at that tree my brothers and you used to hang out by. The one by the bridge. At noon."
"It’s a deal. I’ll be there."
Taryll stood up and he gave Emma a hug before leaving off in his car.
Tracy woke up in the middle of the night and was startled to feel something warm and smooth around her. She instantly sat up and looked around. She realized she was naked and pulled the covers over her. Then she remembered everything that happened that night and smiled.
TJ woke up at the sudden movement and ran a hand up her back then kissed her shoulder. "Baby, are you okay?"
Tracy turned her head to see him and said, "Yes, I am just not used to waking up like this that is all."
TJ checked the clock and said, "Tracy, it’s 3 am. Waking up?"
She laid her head against his chest, "For awhile I have had dreams about what happened that night you got shot. It’s not strange for me to wake up at this time."
He stroked her hair gently and breathed in the smell of it. He grinned while running a hand down her arm. All he could think about was how he had made love to her. It was all he had dreamt about. He knew he couldn’t do anything she didn’t want to, and he knew that he was very easily becoming addicted to her.
TJ gently turned her around so that she was straddling him. She still had the sheet wrapped around her and just a little bit of her tummy showed. He kissed her neck softly and whispered, "Can we?". She ran her fingers up his arms and let the sheet fall as if to answer silently.
She held onto his shoulders and held him tight while he gently made love to her. Whispering and singing through it all. There was only one way Tracy could think of to describe it. Magic .Everything he did made her feel so special and she never wanted it to end. She had never felt this way in her entire life. When they were done they fell back asleep and slept holding each other in their arms.
Taryll got up early the next morning so he could get ready before meeting Emma at the park. He walked downstairs and packed some fruit for them to have while at the park. Then he hopped in his car and made his way there.
Meanwhile Emma was waiting patiently under the tree he had suggested. She was standing with her back against the tree looking around at all the people and trying to think of what she was going to say when Taryll arrived. She was suddenly interrupted from her thoughts as someone came from behind the tree and grabbed her.
"Ahhh!" she screamed.
Taryll started laughing still holding onto her sides, "Did I scare you?"
"Scare me? I believe that is an understatement!" she said laughing.
Taryll laughs too and spreads out a blanket motioning for her to sit down as he does. "I brought some fruit to munch on."
"Mmm looks good."
"Not as good as you."
Emma started to blush and looked away, "Thanks..so um..I suppose we should talk about this."
"Yes, we should."
"I’m sorry that I haven’t noticed all you have been trying to do. Maybe I’ve been overlooking it on purpose because I felt I could never feel the same way I do about TJ..about anyone else."
Taryll props up his elbow and rests his head on his hands. "You shouldn’t be sorry for the way you feel. I’m just glad that I finally got you to see how much I do care about you, and even if you don’t care for me as much as I do for you..I will still love you."
Emma smiles and says, "Taryll how long have you felt this way?"
Taryll messes with the grass with his fingers.."About 2 years or so…"
"I kinda wish you would have told me..I really had no clue."
"No..it’s better that I didn’t tell you I think." Suddenly he sees a merry-go-round and looks at Emma menacingly.
"Oh no.." Emma says, "What are you thinking?"
He stands up and suddenly picks her up over his shoulder while jogging to the merry-go-round. "Ahhhh!" she screams. "Taryll! Put me down!"
Taryll keep jogging and sets her down on the merry-go-round. Then he starts pushing it around and around…then hops on holding onto the bars. They were both laughing hysterically and little kids were laughing at them. When it stopped they both got off wobbling to the swings. Taryll caught Emma just before she almost tripped. "Woah." She says.
"This all brings back memories." Taryll says.
Emma suddenly looks him in the eyes and says, "Yes, it does." Then it seemed like the whole world stopped. All they could see was each other. Every scream and laugh coming from the playground was drowned out and they leaned forward for a kiss. The kiss was soft and slow and it lasted a long while. When they finally pulled away they both just stared at each other..they knew that they shared something special.
Taryll took Emma’s hands and said, "Emma..I care for you so much. Will you...." He takes a deep breath before continuing.."Will you be my girl?"
Emma stroked his cheek and then kissed it. "Taryll, I would be honored."
His face lit up with a huge smile and he gave her the biggest hug ever! Then they both raced back to the tree holding each other and talking about old times.
Tracy woke up to something tickling her face. She opened her eyes and saw TJ hovering over her with a smile. "Goodmorning." He said. She sat up and pulled the covers over her body. TJ was wearing his boxers and had a tray of food sitting by him. "I thought you might be hungry so I did my best to find something to eat. I rummaged up some blueberry poptarts, some fruit, and some juice. Is that okay?"
"That’s perfect TJ. That was really sweet really." She gave him a kiss on the cheek and smiled. "All of this is perfect." TJ bit his lip suddenly getting a little embarassed and he broke off a little bit of a pop tart. "Open your mouth." He says.
Tracy opens her mouth staring at him. He then puts the peice of pop tart in her mouth. She eats it and then licks her lips seductively. TJ raised his eyebrows and said, "Oh my. Heh"
They fed each other food till it was all gone and then held each other close. "Don’t you wish we could just be here all day?" Tracy asks.
TJ runs his fingers through her hair and kisses her forhead, "Yes, I do. I have to go home soon though. Do you mind if I use your shower?"
"Not at all."
TJ kissed her one last time before taking a shower. As he came out to dress Tracy went in and took a shower. TJ sat on the edge of the bed just thinking ...more like daydreaming. He couldn’t believe he had been so nervous about this all. Then Tracy came out and sat next to him. "I want to thank you TJ..."
He gently layed her down on the bed and grinned kissing her fingers, "You don’t thank someone you love for sharing what they feel for you. You only give that love back..I love you so much." They kissed for a while before TJ knew he had to get home. He stood up and Tracy walked him to the door.
"Well, I guess I’ll see you later." TJ says.
"Yeah, I guess so." Tracy replies.
"See you later."
To Be Continued... E-mail Kandi at kandi@iland.net