Mortician

The ultimate homage to horror movies, or 27 minutes of your life drained away? I've seen both reactions to Mortician's latest offering, and I guess I have to say that I fall somewhere in the middle. I have seen this album just blasted, and honestly, upon repeated listens, it's not all that bad! The samples, which actually bothered me quite a bit at first (usually, samples are cool the first couple times, then they start to get old, fast) add to the element which I'm sure Mortician were going for when they recorded this. Zombie Apocalyse is the perfect album for holing up in your room with the lights off, planning mass destruction. There are some serious negatives to be found, however. At a playing time of roughly 27 minutes, this is a definite E.P., with half of this amount being samples or cover songs. That's too bad, because it's on the original, mid-paced riffs where Mortician show promise, for there are some seriously killer riffs here, especially on the song Incinerated. The drum programming is also a big drawback for me. On the mid-tempo stuff, it almost sounds pretty realistic, but on the blast beats, it's like a jackhammer. Vocals are unintelligable grunts, but of the deathly type that fans of this genre just devour. This is some pretty brutal stuff here, thick sludgy guitars captured with really nice production. If it wasn't for that damn snare! The covers are so-so, but then again, I'm jaded, because F.O.D. was almost my least favorite song on Strappado. The Repulsion cover is a little better, but still not as good as their original material. In the end, we have a halfway decent E.P. that, for the money, will fit perfectly in any horror film buffs soundtrack case. If Mortician could get a live drummer, and maybe expound on some of those kick-ass riffs, the next album could be a truly brutal contender.
7 out of 10

Chainsaw Dismemberment

1. Stab
2. Fleshripper
3. Drowned in Your Blood
4. Mass Mutilation
5. Mauled Beyond Recognition
6. Rabid
7. Bloodshed
8. Decayed
9. Final Bloodbath
10. Island of the Dead
11. Brutalized
12. Slaughtered
13. The Crazies
14. Silent Night, Bloody Night
15. Chainsaw Dismemberment
16. Psychotic Rage
17. Funeral Feast
18. Wolfen
19. Dark Sanity
20. Camp Blood
21. Tormented
22. Slaughterhouse (part 2)
23. Barbarian
24. Rats
25. Master Tenebrum
26. Splattered
27. Obliteration
28. Lord of the Dead (Mortician Part 2)

Line-Up

Will Rahmer - Vocals, Bass

Roger Beaujard - Guitar, Programming

Desmond Tolhurst - Guitar

I'd say that by now, Mortician are pretty much the most infamous death metal band, and I'd claim that for a few reasons. One, most people seem to absolutely hate them, calling their riffs crap tuned down as far as possible, and masked by too many horror movie samples. Hey, at least they're trying to be original! While I may not be able to throw on Chainsaw Dismemberment at any given point in the day, I appreciate it's existence as the anti-musical statement of the month. Granted, some of it is too much, but hey, it's Mortician, and you get what you pay for. Sub-vocalist Will Rahmer has the lowest voice I've heard, and I was fortunate enough to witness him give an impromtu vocal lesson to my friend Justin (Myself Am Hell) in the Ambassador bar this past August. Watching these guys, this isn't a joke to them, they live the life, and I give credit for that. The other main complaint is the use of a drum machine, which makes sense, but then again it doesn't. People complain that drummers sound like machines on some albums, and yeah, we'd all be flabbergasted if someone was playing these rhythms (which someone did at metalfest), but the machine doesn't sound half bad to me this time. I don't know why I like these guys, it going against everything sensible, but I do, Mortician being the aural equivalent of the thousands of gore movies which are released each year all packed into one solid punch. You Mortician fans know who you are, and we all agree that this is probably their best work to date. Something completely meaningless if you can't stand the band. That's OK, I think the new Backstreet Boys is coming out soon, hope you enjoy it. As for me, I'll stick to the brutal. I still get a chuckle everytime I hear the phrase "Hacked up for Barbeque". Seriously though, I think that these frequencies are so low they could kill whales and shit. 7 out of 10