Deep in my heart I am so afraid

I cant stop crying this is so insane

I have memories of you

but more blank pages then one.

I try to remember the good times

not the bad, the past is gone and done.

I think of you everyday

Everytime I see my reflection

Looking at strangers

wondering if they are you

Wondering if you would even notice me

I have your nose

your teeth

and your damn knees and feet

I am all grown up now

What is it like to have a father?

how do I act, what do I say?

I am afraid

afraid of loveing you

for you may leave someday

tears stream down my face

I want to tell you that I forgave you

I love you and I missed you

I am not saying lets be a big happy family

I just want a start, to get to know

my daddy, since we have been so far apart
I hate you