"Don't do very bad things".
What is the movie about?
Very bad things.
What do the characters in the movie do?
Very bad things.
So tell me Torgo, are these BAD things they do, or are these VERY bad things.
Take my word for it. They are very bad things.
This movie is a dark comedy that reminds me of a GRUESOMELY funny version of "A SIMPLE PLAN". In "A simple Plan" there was the symbol of all evil, the SACK OF MONEY, and everyone that came into contact with it suffered a terrible fate, and had their life changed forever (and not for the better, mind you). In VERY BAD THINGS, delete the sack of money and substitute "The deed" in it's place. All those who do "the deed" or come to know about "the deed", end up more or less the same way.
Fucked.
The films starts with 5 friends going to a bachelor party in Sin City itself, Vegas. They rent a hotel room, they bring coke, they bring weed, they bring enough alcohol to sink the Titanic. Oh yeah, they also hire a stripper/hooker for hire, for entertainment purposes.
The 5 well meaning gents are Christian Slater, Jeremy Piven, Daniel Stern, uh.. that guy with the round glasses who walked through all of "Alien: Ressurection" with the alien in his chest looking scared, and some guy I just don't know.
The unknown guy is the groom to be. Oh did I mention he is marrying Cameron Diaz. Cameron looks hot, but she is very overbearing, and is obsessing on every wedding detail, and taking it out on her poor shmuck husband to be.
But off they go with a snoot full of blow and a head full of dreams to Vegas. There they start to party, all is cool, the stripper shows up, all is cool, someone takes the stripper on a Weenie-ride around the bathroom......
..... and Very bad things start to happen, and happen fast.
What follows is a roller coaster ride of stomach churning scenes of blood, gore and VICIOUS violence. This is NOT a movie for the squeamish, even if it is technically a comedy. Just when you think the fun-boy 5 have done the VERY baddest thing they could possibly think to do, they do a much very badder thing, and the very bad things get very badder.
Much like the bag of money in "Simple plan", the bad things they have done starts to eat at some, and things start to unravel. If you see someone come into the picture, and they learn about or suspect "the deeds" (aka the VERY BAD THINGS), you can bet your mother's calloused knees that sooner or later some very bad things will start happening to them.
And of course, every bit of it is hilarious.
It's not a laugh-out-loud kinda funny. It's a dark comedy that has you sitting quietly and occasionally shouting "Oh my GOD" and laughing at just how foolish the characters are. The ending will make you shake your head and chuckle, and there are many a-scene that will make you shudder due to the graphic nature of the violence.
Very bad things is a very cool movie. It teaches us many lessons in life. Don't think your cleverest plans are fool-proof, don't think nobody will ever find out when you do VERY BAD THINGS, and most of all, don't ever fuck with Daniel Stern's minivan.
Two appendages up for this flick, and until next time; the balcony is condemned.
Dr. Torgo
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