Gimme That Old-Time Religion 1.Gimme that old time religion Gimme that old time religion Gimme that old time religion That's good enough for me! 2.It was good enough for Granny She could throw a double-whammy That would knock you on your fanny And she's good enough for me! 3.With the aid of my athame I can throw a "double-whammy" (And can slice and dice salami!) So it's good enough for me! 4.There will be a lot of lovin' When we're meetin in our Coven Quit yer pushin and yer shovin' So there's room enough for me! 5.Some folks worship all of Nature Tho they love to taunt and bait-cher They're just funnin', they don't hate-cher And they're good enough for me! 6.Our High Priestess is a doll But she's fond of alcohol Carlo Rossi she'll extoll But she's good enough for me! 7.Our Coven is a bunch But I have a sneaking hunch That their brains are out-to-lunch But they're good enough for me! 8.Our Coven has a charter They recieved from some old farter And they gave him one in barter But it's good enough for me! 9.Our Familiar is black With a white stripe down his back When his tail goes up, make tracks, 'Cause it ain't perfumery! 10.When the full Moon's in the sky And the witching hour is nigh Flying ointment we'll apply And that's very good for me! 11.Our Bard is macrophonic And he thinks he's so harmonic But he's more like cacophonic And he plays a mile off-key! 12.Outdoor skyclad is for wierdos Who forget about mosquitoes And they zap you like torpedos That ain't good enough for me! 13.I inherited from Mommy I inherited from Mommy My big, black, switch-blade athame And it's ba-a-a-d enough for me! 14.It was Gerald wrote the ditty And Al Crowley made it pretty Ain't traditional one bitty But it's good enough for me! 15.We will follow Gerald Gardner In our faith he is our partner All that scourgin' makes it harder But it's good enough for me! 16.It's those good old connotations Which make grow the Pagan nations Leading us to conjugations And that's good enough for me! 17.Oh my grandpa prays to Suna And my grandma worships Luna They've disowned me, I'm Kahuna But that's good enough for me 18.It's the fruit of all my training And it don't need no explaining Now if it would just stop raining It's good enough for me 19.Let's wave bye-bye to Jehovah, 'Cause his age is almost over Patriarchal pigs in clover Ain't good enough for me. 20.Rowan Moonstone is a beauty And Pattalee's a cutie Holy Moly! Rootie-tootie! And it's good enough for me! 21.Let's go skyclad all together Dance the Circle round the heather Never mind the freezing weather And that's good enough for me! 22.We will worship with the witches 'Cause we're rowdy sons-of-bitches And they scratch us where it itches And that's good enough for me! 23.We will gather at our saunas When the spirit comes upon us To perform the Rites of Faunus And that's good enough for me! 24.Perfect love and perfect trust We shall rise up from the dust And become the upper crust And that's good enough for me! 25.When the red-necks say we're sinning I don't care, 'cause we are winning And this is only the beginning And that's good enough for me! 26.Our Witch-Queen has a tushie Which is big and wide and plushy Altars under her go sqooshy What e're the carpentry! 27.Our First-Degree has curves That give all men the swerves It gets on the ladies' nerves But she's good enough for me! 28.Always be polite to witches Always be polite to witches If you cross them they are bitches And they throw some nasty spells! 29.Up the chimney, down the street Flying at ten thousand feet Hey, Pan Am, we gotcha beat And it's good enough for me! 30.Our chalice holds six quart And our wine -- it sure ain't port! It's distilled in a retort But it'sh good enough f'me! 31.Our rituals are diverse Every week a different curse Goddess! What if they reverse? It won't be good enough for me! 32.We were told in Pagan class That leaping cauldrons is a gas But I got a roasted...pentacle And I can't sit down for tea! 33.When a witch says "wackawacka" You must kiss her "smackasmacka" And recieve one "backabacka" And that's good enough for me! 34.When I first became a pagan It was daring and outragin' Now my Circle's started agin' But they're good enough for me! 35.We go skyclad for the Goddess So we wear no shirt or bodice And it isn't very modest But it's good enough for me! 36.We will gather come the Lammas It is writ in Nostradamus We will take off our pyjamas We'll make merry, She'll be pleased! 37.I'm full mooning evil spirits Throwing wild derriere fits And on me they can't lay their mitts 'Cause my charm's protecting me! 38.We will worship Frey and Freya Yao and Vesta, Lugh and Gaia Any more? Perun! and Maia! That's still not enough for me! 39.We will jump the old bonfire Tho the flames are roaring higher If you miss you join the pyre And that's good enough for me! 40.They say that Wicca makes you fertile As a horny little turtle And your glands they all will spurt'l And that's good enough for me! 41.Oh my neighbor is a Buddhist And my roommate is Voodooist Me, I'm just a nudist! But that's good enough for me! 42.If you think that you're a Bard Go and practice in the yard Annoy the neighbors till you're tarred And feathered, but don't mention me! 43.When you go to California Pagans there'll jump upon ya Well don't say I didn't warn ya You heard it first from me. 44.We will all join in with Wicca With the Goddess we will dickah We will argue, fight and bickah In a happy anarchy! 45.Mother Nature doth attract us With her fascinatin' cactus Now Her plants have all attacked us! So I'll go and hug a tree! 46.We will sing a verse for Loki He's the old Norse god of Chaos Which is why this verse don't rhyme or scan or nothin' But it's good enough for me... 47.To Prometheus let us hark In bringing fire, he made his mark Or we'd be dancing in the dark And that's not good enough for me! 48.I asked questions of the Sybil And she gave me back a riddle And she left me in a muddle But that's good enough for me! 49.If you plan to court Medusa At her place in Syracusa Take a mirror; what's the use-a Getting stoned before your spree? 50.We will all see Aphrodite Though she's pretty wild and flighty She will meet us in her nightie And she's good enough for me! 51.We will frolic with old Bacchus We don't care if some folks mock us 'Cause his rites are rather raucous And they're good enough for me! 52.All the hunters start convergin' When Diana is emergin' It's too bad she's still a virgin But there's still hope left for me! 53.Oh we will go and worship Pan, 'Cause he just don't give a damn! Grab a woman or a man, And that's good enough for me! 54.We've neglected Father Zeus Tho it seems a bit obtuse We think more of Mother Goose But he's good enough for me! 55.Now there was this wizard, Merlin, Really kept the world a-twirlin' 'Til he got mixed up in girlin' But he's good enough for me! 56.In Pwyll's hall you will be welcome But he's not at home too often Spends all his time in Annwyfn And that's good enough for me! 57.We will sing a verse for Rhiannon Who the Celts had had a handle on When she took their kilted men on And she's good enough for me! 58.We all will worship Bridget 'Cause She never will be frigit She takes giants, men and midgits And She's good enough for me! 59.If you like aggressive women Morrigan with tricks is brimmin' Do you groove on S&M-in'? Then she's just the one for you!