*Disclaimer - I do not own any of the members of 'N Sync (not that I would ever really want to) they belong to their respective owners. I do, however, own all fictional characters such as Mike, Ashley, Rachel, Devon and Carli. Plagiarism is a crime, please don't commit it. Thank you.

The tour manager, Steven, had somehow convinced everyone to go to a motel to get some rest, something none of them had done in two days. He had reserved six rooms at a nearby motel because no one had wanted to go back to the scene of the crime. The ride to the motel had been a quiet one, everyone lost in their own thoughts. The van itself was almost as silent as death.

It was nearly six a.m. when Mike stepped into her room. She had begged to be left alone. The countless hours at the hospital had chilled her to numbness and all she wanted to do was sit and try not to think, feel. I know I don't pray very often, and only talk to you when the proverbial crap hits the fan, but please leave him here with me. I love him more than anything else in this world. I can't do this without him.

She glanced around the room and noticed that all of JC's belongings had been put in one of the corners. Mike walked over to his bags and unzipped the first one. Inside were things that he had collected from fans while on tour. There were a few stuffed animals, some letters, a few poems, a couple of photo albums all made by people who had been touched by his music. Tears filled her eyes and she sighed pulling each item out to look at it more carefully. She came across a paper bag and looked inside. All the letters she had written to him over the past few months were inside. She unfolded one of the pages and scanned it quickly.

JC,

It's late here, almost three in the morning and I couldn't sleep, as usual. A lot of things have been going through my mind, and it seems as if it's just one jumbled mess. Do you ever feel like everything is just a vast waste of time? I've been getting that feeling more and more these days. As much as I try to help everyone with their problems, I seem to not be able to cope with my own. I'm constantly helping Dev out and trying to keep her busy while Chris is gone, not to mention Ashley. And I don't mind that. In fact, I love spending all that time with them. It helps me out some too. What I don't understand is, because you and I have been together longer than they have, I don't seem to miss you as much in their eyes. I don't know. Maybe I'm only thinking like this because of the late hour, or maybe it's been lurking in the back of my brain for a while. I have no way of telling. All I do know is that it bothers me.

Anyway, on to bigger and better things. Everyone is doing well, or as well as can be expected. Ashley is stressing out because she's finally figured out that she took too many classes and has a really tough load this semester. Devon is still her irrational self when it comes to her store. She nearly threw a fit when some new group came in and asked her if they could set up an autograph session. And me? Well, I'm having a blast in most of my classes, but having some trouble managing my time between all the writing I have to do, classes, working at the fan club, and making time for friends and family. I feel like I have no time for myself and, sometimes, I miss that. And sometimes I'm glad that you're on tour. Not because I don't want you around, but because I don't know where I would steal the time from.

I miss you. I know we just talked earlier this afternoon, but I can't help but miss you. All the conversations that we have, not the short hundred mile an hour ones that we have on the phone. The ones where we sit outside, under the stars and spill everything about what's been going on. About what we'd like to do in the future.

I'm babbling now, so I'll close this letter. I love you, Josh.

Mike

Mike sighed with a sad smile as she set the bag off to the side and opened the second one. Inside were his laze around clothes. The clothes he wears when there are no cameras around. She pulled out an oversized royal blue jersey and stood up. She quickly changed into the jersey then curled up in a chair.

Mike was so lost in thought that she didn't hear the door open. "Thought you would still be up." Devon sighed from the doorway.

"I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see it all playing out all over again in my mind like some sadistic movie." Mike replied, all life and emotion devoid in her voice.

You should at least try to get some sleep." Devon countered, pulling the covers down from the bed. "Come on."

Mike sighed, climbing to her feet, then walked over to the bed and flopped down on it. Devon pulled the covers over her younger cousin and turned out the lights as she left the room in silence. Mike turned onto her side and stared at the wall, mind traveling to different scenes her life with JC already held.

Mike tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position to fall asleep in. She almost thought she was too exhausted to sleep, if that was at all possible. After about two hours of turning restlessly, she climbed out of bed and flipped on the television to see what was on. The morning news was on most of the stations, so she settled for one of her favorite channels and climbed back into bed. She watched mindlessly for a few minutes before a picture of 'N Sync appeared on her screen and the reporter informed everyone of the tragedy that had happened.

"JC Chasez and Justin Timberlake of the music group 'N Sync were both shot nearly forty-two hours ago in their hotel room. Chasez's fiancé was the only witness to the crime, and came out of the encounter unharmed. She has given this description of the shooter to police officials. Mr. Timberlake in general admittance in the hospital recovering from a bullet wound in his thigh, and Mr. Chasez is in the Intensive Care Unit suffering from a bullet wound in the back. It is unknown whether he'll live, or how long he will be in ICU, or whether he'll regain all his mobility once he wakes up. If you've seen a person fitting the description of the woman on your screen, please call the police and let them know. On to other news, the mayor has passed......." the news reporter stated mater-of-factly into the camera. Mike grabbed the remote and pressed the power button, throwing the room into instant darkness.

The whole world now knew what had happened, which would mean the press would be showing up at the hospital shortly to interview everyone and basically make all the people involved feel like they were under a microscope for the entire world to see their grief with. Mike heaved a sighed. She had never been able to deal with the press and all their demanding questions, that added on top of JC being shot, she didn't know if she would make it through the next few days.

She climbed out of the bed again, and slipped on a pair of jeans and a jacket before heading outside to collect one of the vans. Gus, the security guard who was standing near her door, walked over to her, a sympathetic look on his face.

"Miss Costeo, you shouldn't be out here." he shook his head. Mike reached into her pocket and pulled out a pack of Marlboro's and lit up a cigarette, a habit she had quit years ago.

"I couldn't sleep." she mumbled, exhaling a thin line of smoke.

"You shouldn't smoke. It's bad for your health." Gus stated, disapproval in his features. Mike sighed and tossed the cigarette in question onto the ground. It was a habit when she was stressed beyond the point of coping. Nicotine had been a savior of sorts years ago, but Gus was right. It was unhealthy.

"What do I need to do to get one of the vans?" Mike inquired glancing over at him.

"Give me a few minutes and I'll drive you." Gus replied with a sigh. He walked over to a room and knocked loudly before stepping inside. He was gone for a few minutes before he walked back out with a set of keys. The drove to the hospital in silence, both wishing there was something they could say. It was nearly nine a.m. now, and Gus was the first to notice that the parking lot of the hospital was swarming with the media, all hoping to catch an interview with someone from the group or the group's management. Gus drove around to the back, and walked inside with her to help keep the press at bay. The two headed to the elevator and pressed the up button.

"Excuse me, are you Miss Costeo?" a woman with a microphone inquired as she rushed over to them.

"Please keep your distance." Gus stated calmly as the elevator doors opened.

"I just have a few questions." the woman called out as Mike stepped onto the elevator, head bowed in silence trying to keep her eyes from meeting anyone else's.

"Now's not the time to ask." Gus shook his head as the doors slowly shut. Gus hit the button marked three and waited patiently.

"JC's up on the fifth floor, not the third." Mike stated suddenly, glancing over at the giant of a man.

"I know, but Justin would like to see you, too." he shrugged with a small smile. Mike nodded, a smile of her own showing finally. The elevator doors opened and they stepped out to walk down the hall. Mike stopped in front of Justin's door and peered inside. Justin was awake and grumbling about hospital food to no one in particular, fore the room was empty save for him.

"Talking to yourself again?" Mike inquired as she stepped into the room.

"Yeah, you know, I like to have a conversation or two with myself a day. It generally has the most intelligent subject matter out of any other conversations, considering the people I live with." Justin shrugged with a grin, his eyes haunted.

"Big words for such a young kid." Mike laughed softly as she took a seat on the edge of his bed.

"Young," he snorted tossing a hand into the air. "Whatever."

"How you feeling, old man?" she questioned suddenly. Justin shrugged, refusing to meet her eyes.

"All right, I guess. I saw the news this morning. No one here would tell me what's going on. He might not make it?" he replied finally looking over at her.

"He might not, but we have to remain hopeful. Anything is possible." Mike countered with a shrug.

"I should have shown up sooner. None of this would have happened." Justin sighed shaking his head.

"Hey, don't you think that. It was no one's fault. No one but that woman forced her to shoot anyone." Mike stated firmly, taking the younger man's hand in her own.

"I know that up here," Justin pointed to his head. "But I don't know it down here." he pointed to his heart. Mike reached over and pulled him into a hug.

"He'll pull through this just fine. You know that as well as I do. JC's strong and a fighter." she replied softly, her hand resting on the back of his head as he rested his head on her shoulder. He finally nodded as he pulled away.

"This place must be a zoo by now, with all the press and stuff." he smiled ruefully. Mike nodded with a small laugh.

"I'm gonna go check on JC. You want me to pick up a donut for you or something?" she inquired climbing to her feet.

"Yeah, that'd be great. Coffee, too. It doesn't even have to be Starbucks." Justin grinned teasing up at her. Mike nodded and headed for the door. Gus stood next to the nurse's station and watch as she walked toward the elevator. He was going to stay with Justin because the security on this floor wasn't as hard to get through as the fifth floor's. Mike, lost in thought, took the elevator up to the fifth floor.

The venue was loud and filled with screaming teenagers waiting for the concert to begin. Ashley, Mike, Devon, Rachel and Carli all made their way to the dressing room where they would meet up with the guys before they took the stage. Mike rounded the corner where she found Chris, Justin and Joe playing a game of hack while waiting for the others to finish in makeup and wardrobe. The three wore their rip away space suits for their opening scene in the concert.

"Hey ladies." Chris called out loudly over the din of the screams.

"How do you guys not go deaf?" Mike inquired as she walked toward the dressing room door to walk inside.

"Two words, one syllable each. Ear plugs." Justin laughed loudly. Mike nodded with a grin as she opened the door. Lance sat in the makeup artist's chair. He looked over and smiled at her.

"Hey Mike, JC should be in the other room." he nodded toward the door that was ajar.

"Thanks." Mike smiled as she headed toward the room. She pushed the door all the way open and saw a woman in JC's arms, the two caught in the middle of a kiss. Mike backed out of the room and slammed the door with a loud crash.

"What happened?" Lance inquired, startled.

"Not a damn thing. Tell JC he can go to hell." Mike stated angrily as she headed for the door that lead out into the hall way. She opened that door, and slammed it too, causing everyone playing hack to look over at her.

"Something wrong, Mike?" Devon questioned raising an eyebrow.

"Like I told Lance, tell JC he can go to hell." Mike retorted as she sauntered down the hall.

"Mike!" she heard JC call to her. She shook her head and kept walking. "Hold up a second, I can explain." he stated, grabbing her arm. She whirled around and slapped him smartly in the face.

"I don't need an explanation. I don't even want one. What I do need is to get as far away from you as possible." Mike ground out as she yanked her entrapped arm from his grasp.

"Oh, that had to suck." Chris shook his head.

"Okay, I deserved that, but it wasn't what you thought you saw." JC shook his head.

"Then what was it, JC? Were you counting her teeth with your tongue to keep your fingers from getting wet?" Mike demanded icily as she spun on her heel to walk away again. Everyone snickered quietly from behind them.

"You're not going anywhere until we get this straightened out." JC grabbed her arm again. Mike almost sprung on him but thought better of it at the last minute.

"Get. Your. Hands. Off. Me." she stated in a deceptively calm voice.

"I say five bucks on Mike. Anyone else game? Ante up." Chris called reaching for his wallet.

"I'll take twenty on Mike." Ashley nodded with a laugh.

"No, we have to talk about this." JC countered firmly, trying his best to ignore the others.

"What the hell is there to talk about? Your lips were attached to someone else's. You were playing kissie-face, or tonsil hockey, with that woman you had in your arms! What is there left to say?" Mike demanded, which shocked everyone to the core. JC had done something he swore he would never do in his life: cheat on his girlfriend.

"If you would just let me explain." JC sighed.

"No, forget it. I trusted you and this is what I get for my endeavors. A broken heart. Well, JC, your kind of love sucks." Mike ground out through clenched teeth.

"That's it!" JC nearly shouted grabbing her by the arm and hauling her down the hall, Mike fighting every step of the way. "I've had it. You've tried, convicted and hung me without even hearing my side of the story." he grumbled as he pushed her into a small room and slammed the door behind her. He then locked the door and walked back to everyone else waiting to play the traditional game of hack before they had to go on stage.

"You're just going to leave her in there?" Chris laughed, a look of shock on his face. JC nodded silently.

JC walked over to the door that lead to the room he had locked Mike in and sighed, knowing what was to come. He glanced over to the others, who gave him sympathetic looks and unlocked the door. He stepped inside and shut the door behind him. Mike stood leaning back against the wall, arms folded across her chest, glaring at him.

"Before you say anything, let me tell you what happened." JC started.

"No chance in hell, Chasez. I'm going home. H. O. M. E., home. I have nothing to say to you, nor do I want to hear any word uttered out of your mouth." she shook her head as she headed toward the door.

"Sit!" JC barked loudly, pointing to a chair. Mike's pulse jumped because she had never seen him this angry before. She sighed and took a seat on an old chair and waited patiently. "Now, first of all, that girl was my ex-girlfriend and she kissed me."

"You sure didn't look like you minded all that much." Mike retorted flippantly.

"Actually I did mind." JC sighed as she climbed to her feet and gave him a pained look.

"Obviously, I was wrong about you. It's been real, JC, but I'm outta here. It's over. I can't do this anymore. Have a nice life. I wish you all the happiness in the world." Mike stated softly as she opened the door. She stepped out into the hallway and silently headed to her car. Everyone watched with awe as JC stood in the doorway and watched her walk away from him.

Mike sat in her room looking, for all intents and purposes, like a child pouting because she didn't get her way. She had spent the entire two days since that night being listless and not doing anything of significance. She was driving Ashley crazy because no matter what the girl suggested, Mike refused to get on with things. Mike even skipped all of her classes that day. Now Mike sat in bed wearing her favorite sweats and a t-shirt while the television played music videos on MTV. Ashley stormed into the room and instantly flipped the power button on the TV.

"You have got to get out of this funk. Get up and get dressed." she told her roommate with a vengeance.

"Ash, don't." Mike shook her head, pony tail swishing.

"Don't what? Tell you that you're miserable without him? That you he's human and he made a mistake? What don't you want me to do?" Ashley demanded folding her arms across her chest, eyes shooting sparks. Mike just shook her head.

"What I'd like to know is what happened to the old Mike. What happened to that hellion that would give any man hell for something like that then forgive him? What happened to you?" she inquired softening her tone a little.

"She died when she saw the man she loved more than life itself kissing someone other than her." Mike retorted angrily. Ashley sighed shaking her head, then made a face when she heard distant singing. She leaned over Mike's bed and looked out the window. Ashley nearly had a coronary when she say they guys standing outside their window singing. She quickly yanked the window open and smiled with glee as Mike turned and looked on with shock.

Ashley laughed softly and grabbed Mike's hand and hauled her to her feet. Mike pulled back from her shaking her head, as if to say 'don't make me go out there'. Ashley payed her no heed and pulled her toward the door anyway.

Mike folded her arms self consciously over her chest as most of the females in the dorm looked on with envy while she wanted the earth to swallow her whole fore all the embarrassment she was suffering at this moment. JC's gaze never left her as they finished the Bon Jovi song they had converted to pop.

Mike stood silently, with Ashley behind her and JC gazing intently at her.

"Awe come on! Forgive the poor guy!" a female from the third floor yelled and was met with a loud chorus of 'yeahs'.

"Yeah, forgive the poor guy." JC stated softly to her, his eyes turning a light gray color. Mike sighed closing her eyes for a moment then she looked up at him. "I made a mistake. I never meant for it to happen, you have to believe me on that much.

"Oh, shut up and kiss me you damn fool." Mike exclaimed with frustration. JC laughed softly, pulling her into his arms.

Mike sat down in the chair next to JC's bed and sighed with a small smile on her lips. "You know, I've been thinking a lot about everything we've been through together. Three huge fights, a billion tiny ones, a one month break up, a record contract, classes, no time alone, being several continents apart, yet we always managed to find our way back to each other. Why do you suppose that it?"

She reached over and took his hand. "I think it may be because no matter what life throws at us, we're strong enough to take anything as long as we're together. Not just me and you, but everyone. Me, you, Chris, Devon, Joe, Ashley, Lance, Rachel, Justin and Carli. The ten of us have been through so much together. So much. We've been through not being on speaking terms to falling in love with one another. We're like the next generation of the Breakfast Club and St. Elmo's Fire. Or, maybe I'm just a bumbling idiot because I have no idea how to handle this."

A nurse walked in to check the machines he was hooked up to and smiled over at Mike.

"He's a good looking boy." the nurse commented.

Yeah, he is. But he wasn't always the stud you see before you." Mike laughed shaking her head.

"No?"

"Nope. When he was younger, he was gangly and awkward. It was really rather humorous." Mike nodded with a smile.

"All the gangly ones grow up to be suave men. Always remember that." the nurse said as she headed for the door.

"Oh, I know. I learned that first hand." Mike smiled softly gazing down at JC's pale face. "Okay Josh. Enough of this just laying there b.s. It's time for you to open your eyes and tell everyone that you're all right."

Mike sighed climbing to her feet and turned to look out the window. "Well, you can't blame a girl for trying."

"No you can't." a familiar male voice stated with humor.

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