Only in America........Can a pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in America....... Do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back counter to get their prescriptions, while healthy people can buy their cigarettes at the front.

Only in America........ Do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a Diet Coke.

Only in America... . .. Do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America........ Do we leave our cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America........ Do we use answering machines to screen our calls, then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in America........ Do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America........ Do we use the word politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures".