MICHAEL’S MOIST EXPLICATIONS

 

SILVER

 

“Push”

~ The ultimate disappointment – Sexual Abuse ~

-          “A little bit more” than anyone should have to experience in life. 

-          Sexual abuse takes so much from someone, “taking more than you could ever say.”  Could never be said or explained with simple words.

-          Suppressed memories resurfacing, “did you really think that I’d forgotten.”

-          “Always loved me strapped to you,” the idea that love can only exist through sexual touch.

-          Feeling of suicide, loneliness, disappointment, and shame, {symbolized by: car crashing into water, sinking and taking the final “one more breath”.}

-          “I wanted more than this,” I feel that I deserved better than this.

-          “I expected more than this,” one should expect much more from their elders.

 

“Believe Me”

~ The loss of a loved one- Suicide ~

-          “Wanting you to reach out from the dark,” friend’s attempt to help the victim.

-          “Things you never said”, “Keep it all to yourself,” friend trying to convince victim that keeping the secret/shame inside only makes it worse, (common in Sexual Abuse).

-          The friend seems to have gone through similar troubles in life, but is determined to overcome them, “the words that say I’m weak that show I should have died, crumpled in the fire.”

-          The friend cleanses the victim, “I’m washing clean your body,” yet the friend is determined to continue on without this person, “I’m burning up our pictures, still my love remains the same.”

 

“Kill For You”

~ Someone who as been abused, and is now allowing new forms of abuse to take place ~

-          “Came to grind me into stone,” {symbolizes: abuse}

-          “Smallest cut to drain my soul,” victim is very fragile and easily hurt.

-          “Precious words of comfort swallowed whole,” takes comfort whole heartily, and is blind to lies and manipulation: “she said…I’d kill for you.”

-          “I want, I want, I wanted to…,” victims takes the words “Kill for you,” and thinks about doing the killing to his/her abuser.

-          “Strip me from the top down, rip me from the raw into this Higher Place…I don’t want to die,” the victim is wishing for cleansing and peace, but not through death/suicide.

 

“Silver”

~ A Sexual Abuse victim paying homage to all sexually abused men and women ~

-          “We Are Silver.” Sexually abused victims have sick pasts that tarnish their souls. Yet if their souls become polished and clean, they will become more beautiful and more brilliant than the souls of normal people.

-          “Your Christ has come, the crippled boy that you once knew…the chosen one.” I often suffer from ‘victim mentality’, which leads me to fantasize that I am Jesus Christ reborn, or that somehow I am the chosen one who is to save all of humanity (a symptom of my Sexual Abuse).

-          “So drink me in like tainted wine…and taste the dreams that numb the mind.”  I suffer from extreme dissociations.  Over 75% of my life has been lived while in a trance or a ‘dream-like’ state.  If you tried to understand my thoughts it would be like trying to drink “tainted wine.”

-          “A simple word, a harmless glare, that binds me…and pins me down to pleasure’s bed.”  Sexual Abuse can come in many forms; the way a man “glares” at you, or the “words” he calls you can be very abusive to a child, as well as, being “pinned” down. “Pleasure’s bed,” for me represents the place where most of my abuse took place.

-          “A memory I won’t soon forget.” “Touch and Feel and Lick and Smell.”  “A hurt that only you could sell.”  - These are self-explanatory.

-          “Morphine baby’s final breath, ever smothered to your breast,” {symbolizes: the abuse that “suffocates” and kills a child on the inside. Also, this child is already fated for doom because of the symbol-“morphine.”

-          “Every feeling will dissolve.”  My ability to love and care about human life have practically dissolved to nothing.  And whenever I do find love, I just end up pushing it away as a defense mechanism.

-          “Everybody wants, Everybody says, Everybody begs in time,” In time, anyone who has been molested will want his or her life back, they want people to know and understand, and they will eventually beg for help, peace, death, love, and/or life.

 

“Freaky Be Beautiful”

~A song about the Temptation and Desire to escape life – (by either: Suicide and/or Drug Abuse) ~

-          “I’m walking this railing edge just to feel this good,” The person is using drugs to get high. The state of unconsciousness or near death is the feeling one gets. Also, the thought of jumping of the building.

-          “You came following me,” the feeling of the temptation for a means of escape (suicide, drugs).

-          “He feels so cold,” the gun pressed up against one’s face or “cheek”.

-          “Shallow breathed shrapnel lung,” the feeling from the inhalation of a particular drug. The shrapnel from a gunshot.

-          “Turns the sun,” entering the mind-set where the passage of time seems to not exist (by the use of drugs). Or could just be used for death and the ending of the suffering.

-          “I’m winding,” this person is winding into a deep dark depression.

-          “Dig it out,” this is the attempt to pull or “dig” out these feeling of melancholy and sickness.

-          “Freaky Be Beautiful,” {symbolizes: the Means of Escape (a gun, a drug).}

 

“Break Her Down / Morphine”

~ An Abuser’s pathetic attempt to deny the Abuse ever took place ~

-          “It never happened…it’s not a memory,” Abuser is denying that any abuse took place.

-          “There’s no way to prove it isn’t real,” allows the victim to feel optimistic and to feel less doubt about his/her memories.

-          “My honest smile…all my gentle ways.” The Abuser acts normal around others and uses this disguise to win over the opinions of others, and the Abuse is also attempting to confuse the victim.

-          “If you play quietly…no one here will ever know.”  In Sexual Abuse, this could represent the Abuser threatening the victim to keep quiet or else…

-          “She knows it’s a sin.”  The victim has a firm belief of the abuse and she knows the truth.

-          “I never wanted this to be so…I’m just a boy.” The Abuser is lying and attempts to make himself look as innocent as a child.

 

“Into Everything”

~ A story about a man who has grown a distaste for his routine and redundant life ~

-          “Quarter slot the picture’s hot,” {symbolizes: the porno lounge where a quarter lifts a panel and a nude woman becomes visible for a short period of time.}

-          “Whiskey shot…to wash the cut away.”  Here the man is using alcohol to help dull his pains.

-          “My wife’s at home…face is blurred without a word to say.”  The man’s love life has come to complete halt.  This is his main reason for spending quarters at the porno lounge.

-          “On a whim stole the car, heard the shot ring out,” {symbolizes: the man making a rash decision, probably due to a midlife crisis, and ends up getting shot and killed.}

-          “Into Everything.” {symbolizes: The millions of souls who are depicted in this song. They are all equally beautiful and important in their own right.  They will all become a part of a Greater Everything in due time.  This should also give others who are living a similar life, a reason not to give up on that life.

-          “A pocket full of quarters left to go…” The song ends with this line which {symbolizes: Other men will live with the same pains and regrets, and it goes to show one how life goes on and all the pain/loneliness that comes with it.

 

“Picture Elvis”

~ A song about a woman who has not gotten what she planned for out of life ~

-          “She breathes through the book,” where the book represents life.

-          “Measures a picture there.”  This shows the women selecting a part of the book that she claims as her goal and her joy.

-          “She tasted heaven…” The woman was able to only get a glimpse of her “photograph.”

-          “I’m going to ask my questions on the other side.”  One who is disappointed with life and is determined to find out from a Higher Power, what exactly went wrong.

-          “I’m an animal story telling,” shows the story of his/her life being much more “brutal” than expected, and the story itself will overwhelm the audience.

-          “Question is easy, but the answer is hard to take.” Sometimes the truth can be a nasty thing.

-          “The binding cracks…words will fade,” represents the troubled times in life, but this women still holds on her “photograph” – her hope.   “She keeps the picture in the frame that she made.”

 

“Machine Punch Through”

~ Overcoming the manipulations and lies due to the feelings that attempt to becloud the mind ~

-          “You came to rape me of my intellect.” The victim shows how the Abuser tried to take him/her for a fool.

-          “Your Fucking pistol not so dangerous.” Again, the victim shows how the pathetic words and threats from the Abuser are no longer going to work on him/her.

-          “All she said, one little trick she said.”  This is the Abuser attempting to manipulate the victim.

-          “But it was lost on me…Machine Punch Through.”  This is the victim showing how the lies will not affect him/her any longer.  The circle of abuse or “machine” has been broken.

-          “Screaming so loud… I don’t make a sound.” This represents the victim’s inner struggles and frustrations.

 

“This Shrieking Love”

~ A song about finding true love, only to later discover that what was found was not actually love at all ~

-          “This Shrieking Love,” is the name given for this particular phenomenon.

-          “It’s only in the blood.” The love that is shared only exists in the biological attraction between the two bodies. There is no spiritual love.

-          “It’s not the one you thought you found,” discovering the one true love you’ve found is actually incorrect.

-          “I can’t feel you anymore,” the feeling of emptiness while holding someone you thought you loved.

-          “A Deadly Clear Addiction,” the sexual temptation produced by thinking of or being with this particular person who causes this chemical reaction with one’s body.

-          “You gave yourself to me, I offered you to God,” {symbolizes: that both parties thought the world of each other, but now feel foolish of the impossible-to-top pedestal they put each other on.}

 

“Low Low Low”

~ A depressing song, about death ~

-          “Who better than me, fall into be seen,” the idea of wanting to see a Higher Being and believing than any one other soul in this universe is particularly better than the other.

-          “Draw fire and then pray quiet,” the anger of a type of misfortune, and then the silent prayer or sadness after the anger has passed.

-          “Stay down, cold earth to the ground,” the burial of one in the cold earth.

-          “Too late to be so real,” the feeling of regret after one’s life has passed.

-          “If I ever wanted you back to me,” Again, another symbol of regret.

-           “Too low low,” {symbolizes: the deep burial of one’s body / the deep depression of loss}

 

 

CREATURE

 

“Hate”

~ A song about hate towards the ones who abused (for me the Sexual Abuser). Also, possibly a hate towards God. ~

-          “Crowded by the empty room,” one who is abused can cry and yell about the anger and hate one feels towards the victimization.

-          “Bitterness will run you through, if you’re in the way,” this symbolizes the act of one who lets the anger and hate of the abuse take over.

-          “Prayed for one bright thing, guess I’ll have to wait,” the victim is praying for help or assurance, but is so far receiving nothing from God. The victim remains optimistic (with some sarcasm).

-          “Dragged me out,” the feeling of being forced.

-          “Frightened by my nakedness, Frightened by my own sweet smell,” a victim of Sexual Abuse usually is afraid and ashamed of his/her own naked body. These lyrics capture that tragedy.

-          “Silenced some might say,” abuse victims my tend to dissociate from normal life. Normal people just think they are being shy or quiet.

-          “Sleep might save me, numbing,” the thought of death to help numb the pain.

-          “I know hate,” (I know I sure do).

 

“Theme From Cola”

~ A song about sad memories, possibly of abuse. (Definitely for me.) ~

-          “Ours is the legacy of waste,” our pasts make us who we are; but we whom have been abused, to us our memories of life feel somewhat wasted and used up because of our terrible experiences.

-          “Simple if we would like to find,” It would be nice to find a simple way to deal with sad memories.

-          “Punished by words, I’m taken,” Even a simple word or phrase can bring back up old memories.

-          “Finally pressed you’d like to know…Timid the way I’ll take it,” Having to tell your sad story to someone can be very difficult, I have very little courage when it comes to this, so I guess I’m very “timid”.

-          “Memory is over, memories over,” Someone has experienced his/her memories due to some trigger. Even after the time that’s pasted, this person wonders how they are “still remembering.”

-          “Never meant to go there,” This person has caused one to suffer a flashback but it was not meant to be on purpose.

-          “Are you still remembered,” The victim asks himself/herself this after the flashback. One must remember that the abuse does not have to change who you are on the inside, no matter how sad the memories are.

-          “Tearful as I’ve been binding,” Some sad memories bring up tears.

-          “Only in your mind to make…helpful or not I’ll take it,” I deal with my abuse by Dissociation.  This is when you make up a scenario or world to take you away from the real world. For some situations it can be helpful, but it is not necessarily the recommended way to deal with the memories of abuse.

-          [I’m not sure about the tile of the song, but the content seems to make sense to me.]

 

“Resurrection”

~ The Redemption we shall receive in the After Life, for the shitty time some of us had while living on Earth. ~

-          “I’ve been drowned out,” this is death

-          “Still I’m wishing I could stay,” Even when this crappy life finally ends; there is still a feeling of wanting to stay. A feeling of appreciation.

-          “I measure pleasure by the pain,” If one feels much pain in life, these people can find the outmost amazing pleasure in the simple things that normal people may take for granted.

-          “Cant’ be more than what we are, Can’t be more till its over,” We can’t chose who we are when we are born, we have to live with what we were given. But maybe when our life ends, we will have more creative control over our selves and our existence.

-          “Here comes the Resurrection,” here comes, not our death, but our re-birth!!

-          “Everybody’s got to die from something,” we all we die eventually, you just better hope that the time you spent on Earth will allow you to exist amongst the rest of us. Because I know that I’m not going to be hanging around any child molesters or murders in my After Life.

-          “I saw you strip my babies,” this symbolizes the idea that when we die, all truths will be revealed.  If someone you knew was a child molester in life, they will not be able to deny it in the After Life!!

-          “Emasculate the ones you love,” All the people that one truly loved in life will be appear before you in the After Life. But if someone you thought was true, was actually deceptive, his/her soul will not shine within your view.

-          “Have to wait till its over,” We won’t truly know ourselves or each other until it is all actually over.

-           “And if anger is the ending…realization to mistake,” These final lines for me, symbolize what will happen to the ones who die with regrets and anger towards others.  They will live “through the ugliness,” and regret the things that they “can’t replace.”

-          “I Will Control,” this is for all the souls who have lived honorably. We will control our After Life, and help create the imaginative and infinite universe together, (without the evil child molesters and murders, who will be left out. Ha Ha you bastards!).

 

“Leave It Alone”

~ The idea that sad memories from the past are sometimes better left alone. ~

-          “I’d walk the water to get back to you…where I was complete,” This person would perform a miracle if he could do get back to the old feeling of his true self.

-          “Too soon to be released,” This person was tainted too early in his/her life.

-          “Clean the places where you were undone,” The act of cleansing.  (The body parts for a Sexual Abuse victim, the blood stains in the carpet from a murder victim.)

-          “Tear away the beauty that it sows,” The wishing to tear out the effects that have been implanted by the tragic event.

-          “If I could rape the day and find the things I thought I’ve always known,” Wanting to take back the things in life that the victim lost due to the tragic abuse or event.

-          “Unmade the most of it and left the rest, the parts unrecognized,” The victim is attempting to unlearn what the abuse caused with methods of doctors and therapists.  The blacked-out images are better left untouched.

-          “My reconstruction,” again the victim is only able to live a normal life after years of reconstructive therapy have been given.  Sometimes it still isn’t enough, especially for Sexual Abuse victims.

-           “It takes me back from this place here,” The memories of the abuse take the victim back to the event.  These vivid memories might be due to flashbacks or visions from therapeutic hypnosis.

-          “Leave it alone, again, tonight,” The victim has had enough for one night.  He/she wants the therapy to stop and the sadness to go away.  The “again” reminds one that it isn’t the first time the sadness has taken the victim all over again, and it won’t be the last time.

 

“Creature”

~ A song about Sex, and the added complications it can bring. ~

-          “High heeled and overzealous,” this is the seductive woman

-          “Suck my sickness…my weakness,” this man describes his penis as both his sickness and weakness. It’s a weakness because all men get weak at the knees when it comes to sex. But this man also has a disease within him that can be sexually transmitted.

-          “Hurray for you boy…and I come like rain” the man climaxes

-          “My disease is buried deep in all sweet things,” no matter how sweet sex might be, it can still kill you.

-          “Still I like to hold your creature,” even if there is a chance for catching an STD, they still want to do this because of how good it feels.

-          “So here’s to you girl…and I come like rain,” the woman climaxes

-          “Washed so cleanly,” not even soap can wash away an STD, but they convince themselves otherwise.

-          “Never unsightly, I’m so manly,” the man is struttin’ his stuff trying to convince the woman he is too cool to have an STD.

-          “Like Rain” this lyric gives the feeling of downfall. The sex is good, but it will be their downfall.

 

“Shotgun”

~ Different societies & cultures all fighting for the number one position. ~

-          “Shotgun blasts spreads like dawning,” Any type of war in this world can affect many around the world, even their culture/country is not directly involved in the war.

-          “Thought I found the something better,” someone finding a religion or way of life, and thinking that it was the best and correct way to think and to live.

-          “Terminally hope is crashing,” the idea of a hope or peace is beginning to fade.

-          “Galvanized the oversight by pissing on your whole philosophy,” This culture has tore down another culture because of the feeling that his/her society is somehow superior to the others.

-          “Mine is just the easy target,” some societies are easier to ridicule, (Homosexuals, Arabs, etc.)

-          “Counting on your cancer to teach us to live,” The idea that we need to suffer tragedies in order to right the wrongs, and to appreciate our own lives.

-          “How long is this going to take us,” How long will it be until we are able to accept others’ differences and start living as one on this earth and not as separates?

 

“Disco Days”

~ The keeping of the secret of Abuse. Mostly due to the passage of time, and clouded vision. ~

-          “Yes it’s hard in here,” keeping the secret is a terrible burden.

-          “We’ll suffer the failure of my promise,” the failure to let go of the burden, even after a remarkable promise to do so.

-          “I twisted the words to make it so goddamn easy for me,” the lies one tells to make the effects of the abuse show. One will even lie to one’s self so one will not have to deal with the truth.

-          “Hard to escape,” its is hard to escape the pain of abuse.

-          “We the living,” the living are the one’s who suffer from pain and tragedy. The dead are set free and only feel love and joy (hopefully, I would hope that this pain doesn’t follow even after death).

-          “Pity will have to close our eyes,” the pity one feels leaves them to not want to see the world for what it really is. Pathetic.

 

“Tangerine”

 

“Better Than You”

~ Somebody who’s facing constant challenges in life, and is constantly losing out to other people around him/her. ~

-          “I’ve sold out every memory I have borrowed,” this person needed another’s memories to satisfy his/her own lack of experience. But they are not worth the memories one can create on one’s own, so they are losing their value.

-          “The pictures…dilute me,” again, the memories that are given are only a perfume to cover up the real struggles and are causing this person to lose sight of whom he/she really is.

-          “And I thought that this would be so right,” the idea seemed good at the time, but has now turned out to only delay the solution even more.

-          “Dying killed the truth in me,” death will or already has lead this person to lose his/her own identity because he/she failed to grasp hold of this during life.

-          “Cold reminder what you tried to be,” look back on life, after death, has led this person to think back of how he/she tried to gain control but failed after several attempts.

-          “It’s hard and it’s hated,” life is hard and it’s hated because life…well it sucks.

-          “And everyone is better than you,” this person is admitting that no matter how much he/she wants to be somebody, that it will not happen because it is just simply meant for somebody else. Sometimes some of us just have to face the truth and settle for last place; some of us are just not meant for anything better.

 

“Baby Skin Tattoo”

 

“Ophelia”

 

“Gasoline”

~ A man loves a women who has been Sexually Abused, and when they make love it brings up sad feelings within the woman and questions within the man. The woman might not realize what happened to her during childhood. ~

-          “Did I hurt you, all wash of waters broken,” the woman washes herself clean after sex and the man feels like he did something wrong.

-          “I’ll cut you inside,” the woman feels like she being cut by the man when they have sex.

-          “Tell me what I’ve wasted/taken,” the women feels like she has lost or wasted her virginity every time she has sex with someone, and the man is asking what it is he has taken from her?

-          “The hands have broken, hard pressed on everyone,” every other woman that this man has been with has ended in a failed relationship. He finally has found someone he wants to be with, in this particular woman, but…

-          When he tries to help her she does not seem to respond.  He tells her, “My words can’t open you alone,” here he is showing that she has to find some answers within herself.

-          “Gasoline,” {symbolizes:  the man’s love and chemical reaction to this woman // also the building up of frustration within the man that could blow up at any time.}

-          “I’m turning on,” the woman drives this man crazy in a good way // and in a not-so-good way.

-          “I’m turning home,” in the end, the man leaves the woman in spite of his love. If the woman is not willing to put forth an effort, it isn’t worth the man to waste his love on someone like that.

 

 

 

MERCEDES FIVE AND DIME

 

“Underground”

 

“Dogs”

 

“Breathe”

~ A Prayer to God/Spiritual Being. A hope for Redemption. (For me it’s the hope of recovering from my abuse).

-          “Save Me from this…all the thousand things I might miss,” I sometimes feel afraid that if I don’t recover from my abuse, that I’m going to miss out on a lot of great things in this world or “town”.  Things like Love, Marriage, and being a Father, are all things that are currently out of my reach due to the effects of my abuse.

-          “And You…think we’ll suffer much,” the victims are now referring to the abuser.  The victims stand up for themselves and tells the abuser that they is not going stand by and “close [their] eyes” and let the abuse take over and ruin their lives.  They are not going to let life or the “light, pass [them] by.”

-          “With tomorrow coming…Hope that I don’t let you down again,” The victim returns to the prayer, and knows that they lived another day, and they hope that with the next day, they will not waste it and take it for granted.

-          “I’m so glad to be here…does it mean a thing,” I am very glad to be alive. I am grateful for my ability to create and my love for experiencing others’ creations.  But, I have moments of doubt and sadness due to my abuse. Sometimes this world can be a pretty shitty place to live. It better mean something when it’s all said and done.

-           “We’ll take our time, watching the flowers grow,” The Spiritual Beings are now answering back. They work at a very slow pace, they really can’t interfere too much with our lives, but they watch and take note of what’s going on.

-          “Did you suffer much…Hope that we don’t let you down again,” The Spirits are expressing their sorrow to the victim, and they may even feel a little responsible for what happened. They feel like they might have been able to do something if only they knew when they were still alive. But it’s really not their fault.

-          “If only I could Breathe what you Breathe…See what you See,” I’m hoping that in Heaven all the pain from abuse will go away.  I’m hoping that the Souls who have passed are free from all evil and breathing true freedom at last. I have to hope this. I wish I could feel that way on Earth, instead of waiting until I cross over.

-          “If only I could just believe a thing,” Sometimes I say this when I get real depressed. If I’ve lost all hope sometimes I doubt if there really is any good out there at all.

 

 

“Fish”

~ The inner desire for escape and freedom, along with the battle of inner cages and other barriers to be challenged ~

-          “You barely harm yourself…you temporarily climb.”  This shows how one might not be trying hard enough to live.

-          “The sea completely real…you swim from the fish,” shows how easy it can be to live amongst many people and still manage to avoid them and end up living a lonely life.

-          “Hide yourself,” shows how one keeps a distance from the one’s that truly love him/her.

-          “Dreadful thirst and flowers,” {symbolizes: the feelings of loneliness and emptiness.}

-          “You try every night…get high every night.”  This represents the plans and excitement rushing through one’s mind.  But these thoughts and feelings happen every night… When will this person finally make the big move?

-          “You overwhelm me.”  Here the spectator is overwhelmed by how this person can have such a great idea to find happiness, but yet all he or she seems to do about it is nothing.  This is due to the unseen barriers in one’s life.

 

“Comes And Goes”

 

“Mike Hammer”

 

“Tonight”

 

“Alive”

 

“Pleasing Falsetto”

 

“Mandolin”

 

“Place”

 

“Liberation”

 

“Deliver Me”