INTRO: My friend Marissa is one of the funniest people I know. She's sweet also, and seeing as I was upset for not having a prom date, she set me up with hers, a guy coming in from Texas (That would be Jarrod). The weekend didn't go very well for her, so she wrote this hilarious anecdote about the prom from her perspective. The italics are me or otherwise noted. I tried to add some objectivity to this statement, seeing as I can fill in a lot of holes here. Well, on with the story.

Where to start, where to start.

Let’s begin at the beginning, shall we?

Jarrod flew in Thursday night. He came home (my house) we went to Yang Ming for diner, it was all good. I even managed to get myself off of his list of ‘girls to try to get with’, thank god. Been there, done that, didn’t want to do it again.

So go to Friday – the beginning of the end. I made the mistake of taking him with me to school. His ego was already ------------------ this big, by the end of the day, it was -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------this big.

I told him that the general consensus of the freshman class was that he was really really hot. Oops. Then we proceeded to talk about what he wanted to do this weekend – which consisted mostly of getting ass and, oh, wait, getting ass. He originally wanted to get with Alexandra, but I told him that I’d be very uncomfortable if he did. He refused to listen to me.

After school, we went to Ruby’s (In suburban square) to grab a snack w/ some of my friends – Sam, Sarah, Amy, Francizka (yeah, I know I can’t spell her name)

Jarrod not only ate more then the lot of us combined, but when Alexandra showed up, went outside, motioned that he’d ‘be back in a sec’ and left for half an hour – sticking us with his 15 dollar check, and coming off as completely rude.

That night, I went off to my board meeting, and left the boy with Sam. I don’t know what they did that night, but I do know that he called my mommy to pick him up from god knows where at 11.30 pm.

After Marissa left we walked back to school and hung out at Baldwin. He did not start hitting on Franziska just yet- and by then, it was just the 3 of us. I could tell he was bored, as I was, but none of us had a car. He tried to borrow one, unsuccessfully and also told us a lot about himself and tried to analyze me. That's not an interesting story- moving on.

The real interesting stuff happened later at night. After hanging out in

A lot of parking lots, letting him and Rachel smoke. We met up with Jessica,

Christine, Samantha, her boyfriend Jesse and Mike.

This is where I began to notice him and Franziska. His constant hitting on her worked like a charm. I was very tired. I tried making conversation from them, but I was smart and took a hint from their coddling and left to chat with Christine, Jess

And Mike. I hoped that they would hook up that night and get it over with- so that

At the prom, Franziska and he would lay off each other because I had set

Franziska up with someone else (yes I couldn't get my own date but I could

set someone else up, don't ask how that happened). After offering a ride, which he refused for Franziska's ride, I left.

Later I heard he didn't know the address to Marissa's and had to get a ride home from her mom. I went home and slept for 12 hours.

I got back from my board meeting at 4.30 the next day (sat) tired, lonely, and bitter that I had had to come home for some stupid old prom. I had also just had my hair done, so I had a splitting headache from it.

My mom called Jarrod outside to help me take some stuff in – as I’m the new NFTY treasurer; I got all the files, leftover merchandise, etc, from last year. (This involves some 500 sweatshirts) jarrod begrudgingly brought the sweatshirts in, and when I still hadn’t come in 10 min later (I was looking over my new files, loving every minute of it. It was like I had just gotten a new present. =) ) he screamed "Marissa! Get in here!" like he couldn’t respect my life outside of, well, him.

I was still quite mad at him from his behavior the other day, so I did my best to not talk to him – this involved going inside and getting on the phone w/ my best friend Emily, and talking to her outside for an hour. Then I went in and went to sleep til 7.

Oh, before I called em, I was online checking my email. The boy walked in, holding the phone, and asked me for several peoples phone #’s. I knew none of them. However, do note that I know 2 peoples numbers – emily’s, and MINE. He got all offended when I told him to look them up, called me stupid (or something to that extent) and bragged how, even tho he had only called francizka twice, he already knew her #. Whoopdeedoo.

Also, may I note that he had hooked up with her that morning..

Checking her email. He sounded genuinely angry but note that he's a self- claimed actor.

After a series of pictures (necessary ritual), we left for prom very early.

Fast forward to prom: we were the first ones there, and, as I didn’t really want to be there, I went outside and wrote in my journal, per usual. He came out and sat next to me, not saying anything, just kinda glaring at me, for half an hour/ til it started to rain.

I didn’t talk to him all night – I sat w/ Kate and Her date, Andrew (btw, I am a big Andrew fan these days. He’s just so damned cool!) and talked all night long.

I let him, even though I knew I'd probably get through more than him, considering that he's the one she's pissed at. But I let him think he was cool

Everyone else arrived including Franziska and her date, the guy I set her up

with Lane. I told her earlier she better pay attention to him AND NOT jarrod because I wanted Lane to get some attention. But to no avail, Jarrod was persistent and Franziska melted before everyone's eyes. I wasn't very pleased that I was being blown off completely and that I had to follow Jarrod as he followed Franziska. I finally gave up and left him, and talked to Lyndsey and her date Chris about how annoying Jarrod was being.

Guess who was standing right behind me.

OOPS.

It was my worst nightmare come true, but I didn't care too much about Jarrod because the fact is I didn't give a shit. I ended up giving up on Jarrod and Franziska. She had promised me not to flirt with him and to talk to Lane but her self restraint was at a disappointing low. I was bothered by his ignorance, and her lack of self- control and the fact that she basically blew of Lane. We should've switched dates. I said that to Franziska as a joke and Jarrod took it seriously- Go Figure.

Later I found out he told her at the prom that he'd miss her blah blah

Blah he liked her blah blah blah this whole overture and she looked at him and said you're a good actor - translated as "I'm not stupid. I know you just want some ass so stop bothering me now, talk to me later and stop giving me these very fake speeches about how you like me.

Did I mention on Friday he serenaded her at Bravo Pizza during dinner? No? OK.

I must also say Lane isn't stupid too. By 10:00, after watching Jarrod and Franziska stare at each other, I think he figured out. I ended up dancing with Becky's Date, Alex and also Lane (when Jarrod conveniently stole Franziska away). Lane was by far the most amusing to dance with as he kept asking to stop spinning because he was dizzy- the confusing part is that he was leading. Alex was the best because at least he was normal when he danced. Jarrod nearly suffocated me, he was holding on to me so tight.

As Jarrod and I danced, I said something to him about

Letting Lane and Franziska dance the last dance (the most polite thing he's done

All evening) and he responded, "hey, the guy lost, ya know what I mean?" referring

to Lane and the supposed "contest"  they had between him about Franziska.

This made me realize he was kind of a jackass.

I should have just gone with Lane to the prom. That way everything would've been more convenient for the two lovebirds and I wouldn't get blown off.

After prom, I went home, and jarrod went to sam’s post – to get w/ francizka again. Another note: I had told him 1^st thing on thurs that we wouldn’t be going to ANYONE’S post, b/c we had to be at the airport @ 7.30 am for him to get on his plane home. He blatantly (!) ignored me, and went to sams. He came home at 2.15 am.

Lovely houseguest.

prom he even made me ask Marissa's mom if he could so I would seem like the bad guy. He just wanted some ass (surprise surprise). I told him to go home with Lane, but he didn't want to at first because he wanted to hook up with Franziska not in front of Lane. I responded that I'd take care of it because by then, I didn't give a crap and (assuming) neither did Lane. I gave them a separate room in my house. I don't want to know what happened to them, much less what happened in my living room.

Finally, everyone else left at around 2 AM. Franziska told me later that she really wasn't that easy to dupe- she wanted to get some too. And she did put a lot of effort into trying to get rid of Jarrod during the prom, but I think she felt like it was too good to be true which would be why she hooked up with him.

In addition to all this, all weekend he left the lights on in every room he was in and left (BIG no no in my house) left the bathroom lights on at night, and made long distance calls to TX w/o anyones permission. He also picked up the phone like he lived here, and was just overall rude to everyone in my family.

On a humor level, every ‘joke’ out of his lips was a memorized sketch from either George Carlin or Denis Leary. I called him on it every time he did it, but he just thought that that was pretty funny too. Thurs night, my daddy and I were watching the history channel and the business show (we’re weird like that) and he kept insulting us for it, making dumb jokes and wondering why we weren’t laughing, and generally being a putz.

Even my dad called him selfish and immature.

I preferred self centered, shallow, dumb, egotistical and just plain annoying. But that’s just me.

Respectfully submitted,

Marissa Berlin

Irritated Hostess extraordinaire.

Sincerely,

Samantha Luk

The Blown- off date